AIBU to think excluding children from their dad's wedding was hurtful?

[FunnyBeaker]

My 3 children recently announced their OP was remarrying and were super excited about the event. We spoke about outfits, where they were staying and how fun the day would be. However, on the big day they never went to the ceremony (no after party), no suits or dresses, nothing! AIBU to think this is such a horrible thing to do to your own children? Build them up to think there’s a big event and then exclude them?

I’m not sure I know what you mean, or how to @Isittimeformynapyet ?

Maybe I also just like the prospect of making lots of people having to search the name out to see what I mean? 😄. But I also find re-quotes of a loooong post space absorbing, and when it is just to have an ‘I agree’ added, a bit annoying. That may just be me though 😂

At 14 I was told my dad was remarrying, and I would be a bridesmaid.

Ten days after my 15th birthday I got a call from Gretna Green... They had eloped and were married.

My dad died two years ago when I was 45. Our relationship never truly recovered. Not solely because of this, but it was a massive catalyst and started decades of coming a very distant second.

I think some girls thinking they were going to be bridesmaids would be excited about their dresses? But I was just reflecting what the OP had said and trying to work out what’s gone on as presumably outfits would have to be sorted well in advance.

Did you hype them up about them going - dresses etc - without actually knowing what him and his new wife had planned?? Most second marriages are small in my experience , are they young? Not enough info here OP x

Genuinely dont think there will be more info i think the program has crashed

Guessing paid the lowest cost there is and 15 people so kids outside as no room to them

but then what ? Did they go to the meal /reception /stay outside whole time

@FunnyBeaker we need more info but seems been almost 24hrs since you last post so doubt you will reply

Awful post. Seems made up by a really poor Al program.

What a waste of time.

Why did you bother posting this crap.?

Well, that was a little porky-pie because you've quoted me, but if your username is a Pixies reference then you can do what you like afaic 👍🏻

OP your posts are just too mysterious. Without actual information, we cannot properly comment.

I will say that my brother and his new wife did similar to his 3 kids (tween, teen & late-teen). They planned their wedding purposely to fall on a weekend when he didn’t have the kids. They invited HER daughter (late-teen) of course, and other family such as myself with our own kids welcome (our sister has 3, plus mine, all around the ages of his). I said to my brother, please consider how your children will feel; he said that was his business and none of my business.
Sister & I didnt attend, in large part because how on earth could we go with our kids when HIS OWN kids were specifically not invited? Lunacy. He is under the spell of an evil woman, and he is evil too.

What about food, there must have been some food and drinks, your post is not clear, surely the children weren't left outside with no food and drink for the whole time. I don't understand.

The OP hasn’t posted for over 24 hours. I hope nobody believes this actually happened

Not very! Hoping OP will return to reply and give context. I guess the two most obvious possibilities are that a) kids did something terrible to warrant being excluded or b) their Dad is a raging narcissist/sociopath

Things like this happen sadly a lot

However I dont believe this is one of those times

When we were kids my dad got married without even telling us. We found out from a cousin. His excuse was his wife’s family arranged it (it was in their home country) but my grandparents attended so it was planned.

We were really hurt.

Things like this do happen of course but never in a vacuum anyway

This all sounds very odd, so your children's father drove them to his wedding, but they didn't actually go. So did they stand outside!?
Sounds like there is a big chunk of this story missing 🤔

The OP posted over 36 hours ago and didn’t bother clarifying.

So if they were with him what did he do with them on the day of his wedding if they did not actually attend.?

Apologies for the delay in responding.

The OP built up the children to believe they were going to be attending the wedding, getting new outfits and involved in the whole thing.

Fast forward to the day, the children were not involved at all, no outfits and whilst the ceremony happened the OP and witnesses went inside whilst the children remained outside the building (not the room, the physical building). Afterwards they went to the pub and came straight home again.

They must have known prior to the day that no outfits had been bought though?

Erm I don't think the latest update has given much more information....

"OP" is "original poster" - what are you using it to mean here?

There's a lot of focus on outfits...

Who did they remain outside with? It sounds like it was everyone except the witnesses. This isn't abnormal for a tiny informal wedding. The pub is the main celebration.

I agree that your children should not have been given other expectations, why would he do that to them when he must have known no guests were being invited inside to see the actual ceremony?

So it changed from a big wedding with lots of guests and new outfits to a v small registry office affair? Everyone else (including the children) waited outside and then they all went to the pub? He should have told them/you in advance the change of plan so they didn't feel let down - perhaps they were told before (the lack of new outfits would have been a clue)? Anyway, perhaps finances dictated......but they weren't singled out as pariahs.