Only knickers in the Co-op

[1981RickyVilla]

A teenage girl (aged 15 or 16, roughly) in front of me in the Co-op was wearing a crop-top and a pair of knickers only. Not bikini bottoms, not short shorts but cotton M & S midi style knickers. I didn’t say anything (none of my business and she probably wouldn’t have approved my sartorial choices either). If I had been her mother, seeing her before she left the house, I would have said that it looked unhygienic and wasn’t an appropriate way to go to the shops.
YABU: People of whatever age can dress how they like when they go to the Co-op.
YANBU: A mini-skirt or pair of shorts are a minimum requirement when you’re off to the shops.

Given that the ONS statistic that the overwhelming majority—nearly 100%—of individuals who commit in-person indecent exposure (flashing) are male, we can make an educated guess that young teen girls aren’t wearing their clothes to distress others.

I’m a conservatively dressed woman, and I do think that women are being sold a lie that being naked = empowerment, but I don’t subscribe to the view that you can’t look away from women’s bodies, you absolutely can.

As someone who was a punk rocker/Goth in the late 1970's/early 80's - leather jacket, black skinny jeans, dayglo socks, red patent leather brothel creepers, band t shirt, dyed hair and more make up than Joan Collins, I never really felt able to tell my kids "You're not going out dressed like that !!" 😀

There's a difference between "underwear as outerwear" and just wearing actual underwear. Which as the name suggests, should be under something.

Underwear as outerwear is a fashion choice and quite frankly they don't look like m&s cotton knickers, they look like fancy hot pants etc. They were a thing when I was in my 20s as well - I had a sequinned pair. Worn with knickers and tights underneath!

...but you are still struggling to wipe your bum/flush without anyone noticing. It is very tense!!!!

I worked with a woman who had a little girl aged about five and she was horrified when she came into the living room and found her daughter dancing in front the of TV, with a music channel on.
She was wearing just her knickers and had pulled up her vest so it was like a crop top, before she could say anything the little one shouted "Look mummy, I'm Rhianna!!".

I'm not quite that old, but sometimes I'd like to go back to the fashions of the 50s...

I didn't say they're trying to distress people; just that they're deliberately pushing social boundaries for whatever reason.

I still stand by the belief that people shouldn't have to look away. Just like if somebody painted a deliberately provocative/offensive/profane/highly controversial slogan on the outside wall of their house - would that be fine, as passers-by who spot it can just look away as they walk past; and even the people who live directly opposite can just not look out of their windows?

Ah takes me back to 1968 when I was 14. The trend was for short skinny rib tops, mine was red, with short black skirts (but with all the essentials covered) and black tights. My dear mum stood in front of the locked door and would not let me go out because there was about 2 inches of bare skin between my top and the skirt. There was no way her daughter was going out in public looking like a tart.

She took the top off me and binned it, although she did pay me for it. Oh how I miss you mum.

That's an unfair comment. He wasn't saying that. I'm a woman in her 60s but if I'm walking behind a woman with her arse hanging out it's hard not to stare or be aware of it.

First you compared young teens girls to flashers, when that didn’t work, you’re comparing them to profanity/offence.It doesn’t work. Women’s bodies are not profane.

Again, there are public decency laws to deal with this.

He’s saying his discomfort is worse because he is a man, thereby centreing himself.

You really don’t need to stare at a woman’s bottom, you can look away, your eyes have the ability to swivel. And arses don’t hang out.

I agree Im a 52 year old straight female i have no desire to see a young womens bare backside
If it was a young male posters would be saying he should be done for indecent exposure

Fair enough. Bit harsh. I was kinda joking but point taken.

I think your post had a point. Why do these men think it’s worse them? Just look away.

They can , i was on a packed bus a young school girl had her skirt so high i could could see her knickers and bum cheeks
I didnt want to see that and couldnt exactly turn around as i was squashed into a far seat .

Well yeah. There is that. I personally wouldn't give a strangers clothes more than a microsecond of thought.

Well of course YANBU but people will leap to tell you not to comment on womens clothing and that women should be able to wear whatever they like

I only really read that view on here, in real life people know this isnt appropriate and dont go out dressed hanging everything out or allow their children to do so either.

I'm not sure about you but when I'm walking I look where I'm going, ie in front of me. My eyes don't swivel all over the place. If someone is in front of me they're in my line of vision.

Not sure why you think it's ok for young teens/women to walk around half naked. If a middle aged man walked through town in just his Y fronts people would think it strange.

Some men like to talk about underage girls wearing underwear, and post to hear more about it. It's a fetish.

Arses DO hang out.

When young men wear their jeans below their bottom so that the whole of their underwear covered bottom is shown above the jeans waistband, that is hanging out.

When a woman wears a skirt in which her bum cheeks are visible beneath the hemline, that is hanging out.

Both are fashionable and common sights near me.

Worse when you're working with someone, not a colleague but client, who has a huge hanging out cleavage, trying to concentrate on their face.

Not sure why you think it's ok for young teens/women to walk around half naked.

Can you quote where I have said this? I’ve repeatedly said I’m a conservative dresser. I usually wear full sleeved, crew neck, down to ankle clothes.

I just hate the derogatory way women talk about girls’ bodies here (jiggling arse cheeks, arses hanging out, etc) and the idea that they HAVE to look, they can’t possibly be expected to look away.

Even the Bible says men (which includes women) should guard their gaze:

• Matthew 5:28 (The Core Verse): Jesus states, "But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart". This teaching shifts the focus from just external actions (physical adultery) to internal intentions and desires.
• Job’s Covenant (Job 31:1): Job is presented as a model of righteousness for saying, "I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a young woman". This implies a voluntary, proactive decision to avoid gazing at a woman's body with desire.

I think the trouble is that increasingly, we don't know where to look. This "style of dress" is all over the place! 🫣

That is not hanging out. It’s visible flesh but it is not ‘hanging out.’

Why should people have to look away and risk tripping up and breaking a bone because some gormless individual thinks its appropriate to leave their arse hanging out?
Just put some clothes on FFS