Only knickers in the Co-op

[1981RickyVilla]

A teenage girl (aged 15 or 16, roughly) in front of me in the Co-op was wearing a crop-top and a pair of knickers only. Not bikini bottoms, not short shorts but cotton M & S midi style knickers. I didn’t say anything (none of my business and she probably wouldn’t have approved my sartorial choices either). If I had been her mother, seeing her before she left the house, I would have said that it looked unhygienic and wasn’t an appropriate way to go to the shops.
YABU: People of whatever age can dress how they like when they go to the Co-op.
YANBU: A mini-skirt or pair of shorts are a minimum requirement when you’re off to the shops.

I’d say how weird but I feel like teenagers have always been weird when it comes to fashion, that’s sort of the law. I do think it’s a shame that such young women, or any women really I suppose, are wearing such skimpy outfits under the guise of empowerment and whatnot. I don’t think it’s that, anyway.
That being said, I used to go out a lot between 2008 and, probably, 2012 wearing theeee tiniest shorts I could get away with. Micro shorts, I believe they were called. I had a black sequinned pair and I remember my mum huffing every time I wore them because they were SO short. I suppose perhaps not much better than knickers 🫠😅

If it happens all the time and is so commonplace then why do we need a thread on it?

You are the naive one if you don't know why people start these threads.

You really believe a woman turned up to an shop job interview in her knickers and that poster told her ‘This is a job interview for a shop assistant position, not a poster for Baywatch!''’?

The number of women talking about girls’ jiggling arse cheeks on this thread is very weird. And how they can’t possibly look away.

I am 73, I used to charge about London in skirts that barely covered my arse.

I just cannot believe what some youngsters go out in now - my mum and dad would have stopped me way before I got to the front door had I been dressed inappropriately.

Me and DH were on a train going up to town last year and a crowd of youngsters, boys and girls, got on. The girls were dressed (or undressed depending on your viewpoint) in very scanty outfits. One of the girls had an outfit which consisted of a bra with a shirt over the top knotted under the bust, a clear plastic mini skirt under which she was wearing a thong, and thigh high boots. It was staggering, especially as it was mid afternoon! They passed through the carriage and my DH joked 'bloody hell, don't they know I've got high blood pressure' but really we both felt embarrassed. I heard him talking about it to the male friends who we met later, and he said that although he made a joke it made him feel really uncomfortable seeing young girls dressed like that and more worried for their safety than anything else.

I do pause at those thong bikini bottoms . Basically it's your bare arse with string around it . OK if you are with a group of other young people but this girl I saw was with her family I presume . So her father mother and teen brother and sister. It just seeming such a jarring context . And they I start your wonder why I think that way . Like it's OK if you are tanned and hanging with others but not OK if you are a typical pasty white slightly chubby teen with your mum . Hard to know what is the right way to be thinking these days .

Ah but apparently because that was the 1960s it was ok.

Maybe when 97% of violence is committed by young girls we’ll start being as suspicious of them as we are of men.

It’s not more difficult for men to look away. Their eyes have the same swivel ability as women’s. They don’t need to cop an eyeful.

Maybe if a bunch of Mumsnetters started walking around in just their knickers it would stop being trendy? It just seems ridiculous.

I was saying it's difficult for anyone to look away male or female at times.

So you don't think that women and teenage girls have any interest in or knowledge about sex and sexuality and in attracting the opposite (or indeed the same) sex - in ways that they know are deliberately provocative or pushing social norms?

Who said anything about violence?

I doubt it happened.

Oh oh has ArseintheCoopWindow arrived yet? The PERFECT thread for them...

Why should people have to look away when out in public, because somebody else ignores socially-accepted norms of decency? It's not about stopping to have a big leery ogle; you shouldn't have to see it and be forced to react defensively in the first place.

It's not unreasonable to want to walk around in public with your eyes open. Do you think the same for women if they're the targets of flashers in the park: as long as he isn't trying to approach or speak to you, they just need to look away and not try to shame him for dressing/undressing as he sees fit?

Being provocative is not the same as being a perv, which is what that poster was saying these girls should be treated as.

Hard agree. Should people really have to be prepared at all times to look away from indecently dressed people while walking round the supermarket/ the high street?

I can't believe some posters are falling over themselves to try and defend this shit. Remember that next time you see me in Tesco fondling the tomatoes with my stray grey pubes hanging out of my flimsy Shein thong ... this is what you're advocating for.

Ive had dreams in the past that I have gone to work naked, and that nobody seemed to notice, just carried on with their workday 🤣🤣

Flashers are different because there is a documented correlation between flashers (vast majority of which are men) escalating their behaviour to sexually assaulting women.

There are public decency laws, and shops can also implement a dress code and ask people to leave it if they don’t adhere to it.

So yes, you can report people AND look away, you don’t have to stare to see how much the wind jiggles them, as one poster was doing.

You could report that person to Tesco.

Nobody else knows the actual motivation of people who dress in a boundary-pushing norm. All they can know is that the person likes to push boundaries in a public place, where other people have no option not to see it. They haven't 'accidentally forgotten' to put anything on that properly covers their underwear.

Unless you think that all women and (teenage) girls are innocent, delicate little flowers with no knowledge of sexuality at all?

Yes, sometimes it turns out to be no big deal, even when you find yourself sitting on the lavatory in the middle of the office.

I do think some people have completely lost perspective on what is reasonable. I do wonder whether seeing “celebrities” on social media etc has contributed to that. They see someone wearing pants and a bra to an awards ceremony or on a night out and think that is something appropriate or even expected for everyday wear.

My dd is at university and as part of the course had various sessions in settings such as GP practices, etc, interacting with patients, professionals and members of the public. She said the head of that course module had to send a message out to the students because some were turning up in completely inappropriate clothing - e.g. many of the male students turning up at their placements in baggy joggers pulled down to show their underwear.