Acquitence went to kiss toddler

[sarahmaguire]

I went to an event and it was just a few people. I have a 2 year old and we are going through the tantrum stage and crying when he can't do something.

I took something off him and that caused a small meltdown. It was just before nap time so I was getting my pram packed to go home and was looking at him but knew that we just had to go. I would take a minute or two and was right next to him. She comes and takes him and put him on her lap, doesn't ask, and then starts to mock kiss him saying "everything is ok".

I instantly get him and put him in the pram, of which is a struggle because tired toddler = only one solution.

I put the pram down flat and get him as settled as properly whilst saying Im going, and she continues to get right in his face and mock kiss. I really don't know if she will kiss him but really I wouldn't get that close to someone's kid who isn't a relative/I'm not good friends with. It was close enough for me to put my hand there to make sure.

Aibu? She has a kid the same age. I don't really want adults putting my child on their lap either, unless family or paid care. J

Just to be clear I was comforting him as much a si could but you know your child and what's best in the situation. I was also flustered and the event was winding downn so not disturbing anyone.

YABU
The words you’re looking for are Thank you.

OP: AIBU?
MN: yes.
OP: no, I’m not!

Why ask, OP? Just to be goady?

You sound a bit unhinged OP.

Do you have health anxiety?

YANBU, OP, I’m from a culture where people are affectionate to other people’s kids. My friends’ kids always come to me for a kiss and hug when we meet but I wouldn’t be trying to kiss an acquaintance’s kid.

You’re making yourself sound bonkers. I pity this ‘acquitence’ of yours.

If you're so sure of the answer then why did you come on here to ask?

They didn’t try to kiss OP’s child, they pretended to. There’s a big difference.

So what's gross about that?

It sounds like she was trying to distract and soothe him whilst you were doing the pram. I'm not sure I'd like someone kissing my child to soothe them but sometimes parents do a 'kissy' sound and sometimes a 'shusshing' sound when soothing a child. She was probably doing this with your toddler.

Never had waiters do it, but the vicar at church used to swoop in and take dd from me when she got restless during a service and wander off round the church with her whilst delivering the sermon. Various elderly ladies also used to share out the cuddles so I could have a hot cuppa. Some I knew. Some I didn't. She was safe, she was in sight and they were doing something nice.

@sarahmaguire stop catastrophising, you have repeatedly said your child was in sight so stop lying to fit a narrative when the responses dont go the way you wanted.

Are you quite anxious generally OP? Or were you embarrassed by the tantrum and feel like she brought attention to your ability to manage it? I actually don’t think she did anything wrong, but you seem determined to be furious about it, so there’s not much point in debating it with you.

Perhaps I shouldn't have distracted a baby who was having a whinge in a shop the other day while his mum was struggling to find change to pay?! Honestly, the next thing will be that you will complain because no one wants to help you when you really do need it.

Sorry op I agree with the majority. From the title of your thread I assumed it would be a clear cut Yanbu but what you’ve actually described is a woman trying to help calm your tantrumming kid in a stressful situation. She didn’t kiss him, you’re being completely weird about that.

Honestly OP, if this is real , take this thread as a reality check otherwise things are going to be hard going.

Unpopular view on mumsnet but even if she had kissed him that wouldn’t be a big deal! Unless visibly covered in cold sores or poorly, who cares?

When was she out of eyesight? You've given an account of everything she did and indicated that you were close by and saw everything.

Yep, AFTER op had already removed the child from her lap.

Read the room, people.

What's a mock kiss??
Being two inches from his face, lips puckered, kissing sound

And the problem is?

Let me guess - precious first born?

You're wildly overreacting here. She was only pretending to kiss them, probably to distract them or make them laugh. This isn't the same as some planting an actual kiss on a newborn. And you're verging on insane for objecting to her sitting with your child in her lap while you're right there.

I've been on my own at parties with kids on lots of occasions and I've always felt grateful when another mother helped if she felt I needed it. That's part of what makes a sisterhood.

This ^
its just different approaches to parenting. You looked like you needed help for her ( maybe you didn’t but it’s how it looked from outside) so she came and helped.
If this person is older distraction of a crying child by someone’s else was actually a popular technique in the olden days.

She doesn’t like it.

Stop telling women not to have boundaries.

And?

We are telling her to stop lying... there's a difference

So she didn’t kiss your toddler.

She was obviously trying to help you.

No good deed goes unpunished. 🙄

Op you asked if you are being unreasonable. When people then reply that yes you are, you seem to be getting angry. Why ask if you don't actually want the opinions?