What do you find hot in a man? What do you think men like on a woman? Lighthearted Friday chat 🤷‍♀️

[freedomformeismotherhood]

In a man:
Muscles
Height (sorry)
Aura - are they strong or weak?

I think straight men notice:
Skin (does it have that dewy look)
Shape
How much you care for yourself (manicure, hair, etc)

My husband is talk dark and handsome - the full cliche but most importantly he’s intelligent and funny and I still fancy him rotten ( married 30 years this weekend).

he tells me that manicures and heavy lipstick are big put offs for him - as is over coiffured hair (??) - but fit ( ie sporty), nice teeth, nonsmoking , intellect and humour are what does it for him and he prefers dark haired women. He went out with A LOT of women before me whereas I only went out with a handful of people.

And you’re a woman ( ;-) )

I like (in men):
Intelligence
Funny/good humoured
Polite to hospitality staff (says a lot about character)
Competent (in a decent human being easy NOT an alpha male "I'm in charge" way)
Good hygiene
Good financial hygiene
A bit of initiative (but not too bossy)
Loyalty
Not obsessive about sport
Kind to animals
Not snobby
No Reform type views
Good cook
Can drive
Looks wise i have odd preferences - i tend to like men who are shorter than average, with longer than average hair. I have a bit of a penchant for gingers too!

What do I think men like about women? Very general as tastes can differ but in my experience:
Intelligence (I think men often think they don't want this but quickly lose respect/interest otherwise).
Some ambition and drive (see above)
Confidence and a bit of spark (men sometimes say they want a quiet partner who doesn't nag and kick off but again seem to bore quickly of passive types)
Sense of humour
Not too high maintenance
Even tempered
Looks wise: slim, long hair, not too much make up but fairly well groomed.

We were asked to list physical features and qualities we find attractive, and men might find attractive. In my earlier post I said as I'm bi I find hands and eyea attractive in men and women, and qualities are self-assuredness, humour and intelligence. Then I noticed lots of people were saying men find big bums, big boobs, small waist, long hair attractive. I provided a counter point from my own experience that wasn't always the case.

Contrasts - so maybe an academic man who likes fixing cars, or a manual worker who likes growing flowers.

Clean, open minded, willing to ask questions, not petty or patronising.

Especially if they have rolled up shirt sleeves...😍

I was in a shop earlier, and a man in a kilt went in just before me; we had a bit of a laugh and… I mean, really and truly I go for kindness and intellect; but oh my days he could have just swept me off my feet there and then! Good job he didn’t have a sword too, that’s all I can say!

What was the saying? It's not the size of the boat, it's the motion in the ocean 😂

Men generally notice on women imo:
Boobs
Bum
Hair
Smile

As a straight woman into men I notice on men:
Face
Body Shape
Eyes
Smile

I like:
confidence
competence/capable
ability for cooking and cleaning
good hygiene including dental hygiene
cleanly dressed with non ugly footwear
similar sense of humour to me
fun light personality
ability to think quickly
generous (not a penny pinching cheapskate)

as to what men like?
Well our lists are quite diverse aren’t they? So I would presume there isn’t a one size fits all the other way round.

omg the forearm cliche makes me cringe. I know that we all find it attractive but it’s always mentioned as if it’s some groundbreaking observation 🫢

Bonus points if it’s mentioned alongside reversing and holding passengers headrest.

Men don't want a woman who is more intelligent than themselves.

That’s different to wanting a woman less intelligent, wanting an equal is normal for both genders.

What on earth do you mean by aura? 😳

I find massive muscles a big turn off. I’ll go for nice eyes, sense of humour, kindness.

I think men are much more shallow.

I do find this argument odd though, it’s like the posters have never met an intelligent woman who is in a happy relationship. A doctor, lawyer.dentist, vet. Banker, business manager. They think all intelligent women are single

its utter nonsense, and I’d even hazard a guess we all know couples were the woman seems way smarter than the man.

i dont go for skinny or muscles, i like a bit of meat on a man and a nice personality over looks any day

I had never thought about it before but yes - contrasts!! - DH is strong and handy & has a physical job, but he also loves reading novels. And not Andy McNab/ Dan Brown - like, bookish novels, with a glass of wine, and the cat on his lap. And more generally, like someone said up thread, strong men being especially gentle - DH doing our girls plaits is just 😍

In a man:
I like dark haired men, dark eyes, kind, funny, active.
sense of humour and intelligence is the most attractive!

you sound perfect to me lol

I like very ambitious , driven men .
Nice teeth
great hygiene
Care about appearance
Affectionate
loyal

Yes, exactly. I'm clever and high-achieving, as is DH, as are all my friends, male and female. We're all married to people who are just as clever and high-achieving in their different ways. It's not wildly unlikely. You meet one another at university and at work or via professional networks. The cardiologist across the road is married to a gynaecologist -- a lot of medical couples around here, as we live near a hospital. My museum curator friend is married to the architect who designed the building her museum moved into. An architect friend is married to another architect he met while they were both students. Lots of couples where both are academics, or both arts administration, running theatres etc.

I don't know any clever women who've struggled to find clever men, or clever men who have opted for notably intellectually under-powered women.

I’m attracted to blue eyes, but only if they have dark hair and the eyes pop. On lighter brown or blonde hair, I prefer brown eyes.

The intelligence thing is weird to me. I have no idea if I am intelligent or come across as intelligent, think unlikely for several reasons. And it's not something I think about at all with men. If they're funny, can have a good conversation, interested in the same kinds of subjects I like to talk about, that all matters, but that's more like conversation chemistry than objective intelligence I think. And I don't know if the kind of intelligence that makes people doctors or architects or curators is at all the same. Definitely see the attraction of doctors, but that's because of the powerful - caring combo, which works for me in many variations.

In men:

• kindness, attentiveness and a spark!
• Bright
• tall is good
• muscles/fitness
• good job that uses their brain
• blue eyes

Erm never mentioned it to be 'groundbreaking' it's just something I like !