Shocked by what my BF did to me

[Catchase1]

This happened at the weekend but has kind of dragged on to the week. I don’t live with my boyfriend but we’ve been together a few months and we spend every other weekend at one of our houses. We were at mine this weekend just gone. We have a quite ‘jokey’ relationship and banter a lot. On Sunday, he hovered over my face (having taken his shorts down) and broke wind. I was in bed on my phone at the time. I went mad at him and he kept defending it as a joke and says that I always joke about doing it to him. I said yes, a joke. I’ve told him I want space, he has attempted to apologise over messaging and asked to call me. I just feel like it’s a line crossed even if it was done purely as a ‘joke’. Is it me or is that the ultimate disrespect?

What's sexual about it? 😂

My ex did stuff like this - if ONLY I had got rid of him sooner, instead I accepted his “it’s just a joke, get a sense of humour” bullshit and wasted years. I wish I’d had Mumsnet back then!

I couldn't be attracted to someone after that. Where is the respect, the romance? Why is he playing practical jokes with you like you're both 14 year old boys?

Grim.

Draw some boundaries. There are jokes and having fun, but this can quickly cross over into being disrespectful. I would think about what kind of relationship you want.

Wait you’ve joked about doing it to him, he’s turned the tables and now you are traumatised he’s done it?! Makes no sense. Total over reaction on your part.

This almost reads like a spin off from the Poo Troll🙄

It might be but only if he hasn't farted in front of any other women

Classic case of Fart About and Find Out.

'How different, how very different from the home life of our own dear Queen'

said someone once

Teens do that to each other....DUMP!!!

Dump, it’s gross, you don’t want to date someone this stupid.

First step in a very slippery slope

Hmmm - this is gross and if someone did this to me, the relationship would not survive. However, it sounds like a joke taken too far given the nature of your relationship. He presumably thought you’d find it funny given you have joked about it.

But equating this to hitting is in itself a nonsense argument. Apart from anything else, one's a crime, the other isn't.

Disgusting. However if you joke about doing it to him then I think you have to accept that he could well have thought that you would have laughed it off. I would take this as a line in the sand. If he crosses it again then that's it. Unless you have the massive ick. In which case he's done regardless and you found out the hard way not to even joke about it, because many men just aren't all that bright when it comes to joking Vs actually doing and knowing where the line is. As the mum of boys, can confirm.

Why do you always joke about doing it to him?
That’s bloody weird, you know?
It’s a disgusting thing to do, but you’ve clearly led him to believe you might find it amusing.

Christ that is the ick to end all icks op.

You have set the tone with your threats, Op.
How does he know what is fun to you?

Give him one more chance and but only after having a serious conversation where you, too, apologise for the disgusting jokes that you made about farting in his face.

Clarify with him what is acceptable behaviour. Remember not to fuzzy the line yourself in future.

Somehow you have given him the impression that this low class disrespectful behaviour would be ok.
I can't imagine joking about such behaviour, so maybe this is what happens if that is your conversation level?

He sounds like an utter twat..
You are seeing him a few months?

How you would ever find such a puerile moron attractive again is beyond me.

I can tell you one thing, any man who really cared about impressing a woman, respected and valued her, does not behave like a low class ape.

Massive disrespect and a revolting thing to do to anyone, let alone someone you are sexually intimate with. I would end this and find someone who doesn't treat you like you are six year old brothers.

My brother did this to me.
But he was about 8.

Mumsnet has been around for years people still stay with immature partners so nothing changes

He needs to grow TF up. Have you told him you want an adult man in your life not a stupid teenage boy?

You are both unreasonable. If this was a reverse people would be telling you your dh shouldn't have "joked" about it for so long. Your joke wasn't funny nor was what he did. You both did some better boundaries and respect for each other.