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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Shocked by what my BF did to me

212 replies

Catchase1 · 09/04/2026 19:17

This happened at the weekend but has kind of dragged on to the week. I don’t live with my boyfriend but we’ve been together a few months and we spend every other weekend at one of our houses. We were at mine this weekend just gone. We have a quite ‘jokey’ relationship and banter a lot. On Sunday, he hovered over my face (having taken his shorts down) and broke wind. I was in bed on my phone at the time. I went mad at him and he kept defending it as a joke and says that I always joke about doing it to him. I said yes, a joke. I’ve told him I want space, he has attempted to apologise over messaging and asked to call me. I just feel like it’s a line crossed even if it was done purely as a ‘joke’. Is it me or is that the ultimate disrespect?

OP posts:
Createausername1970 · 09/04/2026 21:58

There is a difference between bantering about something and actually doing it.

If you were happy with your bf before this incident, then make it clear he crossed the line, and if he seems genuinely remorseful then continue the relationship.

If you had doubts anyway, then draw a line under it.

There are few people who haven't done something cringeworthy at some point.

Mumtobabyhavoc · 09/04/2026 21:59

MuskIsACnt · 09/04/2026 21:55

No you don’t need boundaries, some of the people responding are totally nuts. It’s a fart, who cares.

I really couldn’t get worked up about a fart.

Show quote history

Do you like having your SO fart in your face, then? Interesting... 🤔

pictoosh · 09/04/2026 21:59

Createausername1970 · 09/04/2026 21:58

There is a difference between bantering about something and actually doing it.

If you were happy with your bf before this incident, then make it clear he crossed the line, and if he seems genuinely remorseful then continue the relationship.

If you had doubts anyway, then draw a line under it.

There are few people who haven't done something cringeworthy at some point.

Agree with this.

SeekOIt · 09/04/2026 22:01

😂😂😂

NeedingASafeSpace · 09/04/2026 22:02

AStonedRose · 09/04/2026 20:28

It's sexual assault.

Dump dump dump

Show quote history

Sexual assault!? Behave!!!

GlomOfNit · 09/04/2026 22:05

I mean, I find farts funny because I'm fairly earthy, and they're also just a fact of life, but deliberately farting in someone's face is vile. And massively immature. Unless you genuinely do have a relationship built on gross-out jokes and banter, and you do this sort of thing to him too (which would also be vile), I'd be reconsidering. If it upset you, he misjudged a dumb joke very badly, at best. At worst, he's showing you what he really thinks of you.

patooties · 09/04/2026 22:07

That’s actually awful - utterly disrespectful 🤮

Spookyspaghetti · 09/04/2026 22:08

If someone did this after five decades it would still be sketchy, but after five months… jeez.

ChiliFiend · 09/04/2026 22:09

The people saying "it's just a fart" are equating this to him just farting in the same room as her. He got up super close to her face, while naked, and then farted in her face on purpose. It's not remotely the same. Just imagining it makes me want to retch.

blueskyandrainbows · 09/04/2026 22:13

rwalker · 09/04/2026 19:20

That’s grim but not totally unexpected as you threaten to do it to him so that kind of sets the tone really

It’s disgusting but you started it so I can understand he thought it was okay.
Do you really think that’s funny?
Even just to joke about it sets your standard of conversation on a very low bar.
I think to take a look at yourself before judging him.

Sartre · 09/04/2026 22:16

You should leave. It’s not something someone who loves and respects you would even think to do. It’s so disgusting.

Dimpledaisies · 09/04/2026 22:24

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ.

Happyjoe · 09/04/2026 22:24

I think it's time to change your words perhaps, stick to Monty Pyton's 'I fart in your general direction'! It may be safer going forward..

My brothers used to do this to me on occasion, they'd hold me down while the other farted. It's foul but they were children! I have not much liking for my brothers as an adult, fair to say (farting was only part of a long list).

Only you can decide going forward OP if this is a dealbreaker. If happy otherwise, perhaps give him 2 strikes before out...

LydiaFunnyGums · 09/04/2026 22:25

Revolting little shit! You would be mad to continue your relationship with him. Get rid!

Crudd99 · 09/04/2026 22:32

ohwtf · 09/04/2026 19:18

Any man who did that to me would get a swift punch to the bollocks, and marching orders.

Agree.

ProudCat · 09/04/2026 22:34

Just explain to him that you're not fart positive.

DripDripAprilshower · 09/04/2026 22:35

I always joke about doing it to him.

I suggest you get a more sophisticated sense of humour

Illegally18 · 09/04/2026 22:37

MuskIsACnt · 09/04/2026 21:55

No you don’t need boundaries, some of the people responding are totally nuts. It’s a fart, who cares.

I really couldn’t get worked up about a fart.

Show quote history

It's deeply, deeply unsexy.

Monzo1ss · 09/04/2026 22:37

I’d end the relationship over this, farting in someone’s face on purpose is akin to spitting in their face. If that’s a kink for you then fine, but otherwise, it’s extremely disrespectful.

If you wouldn’t fart in your mate/parent/colleague’s face as “banter”, why do so with the person you’re dating? Your girlfriend/partner/wife etc should be someone you treat with more respect, not less. If he farted in anyone else’s face, he’d get punched in the face as it is not a social norm, so why’s he doing it to you and acting surprised that you didn’t like it?

Notascouser1990 · 09/04/2026 22:38

Ugh. Probably going to be an unpopular opinion with many (and of course you should be able to have a laugh with your partner), but I hate "jokey"/"bantery" couples. All of the ones I've known eventually turned emotionally or mentally abusive (usually the man seeing how far he could go). I don't do "banter" and my ex would always try to wind me up with stupid immature shit like this, then I'd get called an "uptight cow" etc for not finding it funny 😂

Happyjoe · 09/04/2026 22:38

MsSmartShoes · 09/04/2026 21:23

I’ve been with my husband for over twenty years and he has not once farted in front of me.

Am jealous! He's a keeper :-)
After being with my better half for a year, I bought him a mug that said 'my farts hospitalise small children' because they are so vile.
I miss the days so much where he'd not fart in front of me, now I can barely get him to get off his (stinky) bum and open a window.

Monzo1ss · 09/04/2026 22:39

ChiliFiend · 09/04/2026 22:09

The people saying "it's just a fart" are equating this to him just farting in the same room as her. He got up super close to her face, while naked, and then farted in her face on purpose. It's not remotely the same. Just imagining it makes me want to retch.

Exactly!

some of you have really poor standards, no wonder this forum is filled with people with relationship issues. Bottom barrel

Wordsmithery · 09/04/2026 22:41

I actually imagine he is quite confused. I mean, he called your bluff, didn't he.
Play silly games, win silly prizes.

Stolengnome · 09/04/2026 22:46

Randomlygeneratedname · 09/04/2026 19:48

Sometimes I fart behind the fan so it blows into DH face.

😂😂

Pherian · 09/04/2026 22:49

Catchase1 · 09/04/2026 19:17

This happened at the weekend but has kind of dragged on to the week. I don’t live with my boyfriend but we’ve been together a few months and we spend every other weekend at one of our houses. We were at mine this weekend just gone. We have a quite ‘jokey’ relationship and banter a lot. On Sunday, he hovered over my face (having taken his shorts down) and broke wind. I was in bed on my phone at the time. I went mad at him and he kept defending it as a joke and says that I always joke about doing it to him. I said yes, a joke. I’ve told him I want space, he has attempted to apologise over messaging and asked to call me. I just feel like it’s a line crossed even if it was done purely as a ‘joke’. Is it me or is that the ultimate disrespect?

Ewww that’s minging. Please tell me you’re dumping him.