AIBU / Ridiculous re putting extra mileage on my car

[MileageWoes]

DH works from home, I work full time in the office. He is having major car trouble and will be without a car for the next few weeks. Obviously he doesn't need a car for work but he has a hobby that he travels to so is using my car morning and evening to do this. It's a 40 mile round trip, twice a day so means that he's putting over 500 miles extra on my car every week! I think he should cut back to once a day until he gets his own car back and he thinks I am being very unreasonable as it will only be for 3/4 weeks.

I WILL NOT BE DISCLOSING WHAT THE HOBBY IS! (I don't want to out myself and it's really really not relevant to my question)

Is it yodelling?

I thought rowing, @ChrisTheBastard !

I think I’d be more worried about the cost of fuel at the moment (have mostly only read the OP’s posts, so I’m probably not the first to mention this!).

Yes if he cycled to his hobby that would sort a lot of problems.

Get rid of your car then your mileage problems will disappear.

HTH.

How can she get rid of her car when she needs it for work?

He is back before she goes to work, and takes it again when she comes home from work.

Thats my understanding and if you don’t need your car for work then having cars when neither of you need them for work is insane.

Do the maths. Move beside the river or stable or girlfriend he visits every day.

My guess is cold water swimming.

Yes, as they last for a set amount of miles eg 10k so will need replacing sooner if the car is driven more.

I understand your concern about expediting the end of your cars life - 2000 miles a month is excessive however as a couple myself and partner drive loads and have amassed well over 450,000 miles in the last decade and not once thought about who’s car should be used less so I’m going to go with the consensus here and say it’s a hobby problem more than car wear and tear

It wouldn’t bother me at all and it wouldn’t bother my husband if I drove his because we share finances. However he does need to get his car mended/replaced.
Depending on the hobby, I might be concerned about his time spent on it and if he was opting out of family life.

Owning a horse on DIY livery. I hope I haven't guessed correctly otherwise the OP might remove the thread. Please feel free to ask for a deletion @MileageWoes

It's already been stated quite a few times that it is nothing to do with horses..............

This is weird. And yes you’re totally unreasonable. When your old car gives up completely surely he’ll help you get a replacement?

My DC’s training is twice a day multiple times a week and is approx 30 mile round trip (not horses!)

I’d make my H hire a car for himself….
Doesn’t the garage doing the work on the husbands car have cars he can hire?
Typical man to assume he can have his wife’s vehicle instead of being organised about his ‘hobby’ & his desperate need to access it?

Perhaps is horses and the OP says not to throw us off the scent......

Or is it donkeys?

This sounds like an 'I'm pissed off with DHs hobby' issue, not a car issue.

If it is just about the mileage it's not then use his car for your daily commute, once it's fixed, until the mileage is paid back

@MileageWoes you are at 95% capacity of just about tolerating his hobby for years and years, which has disrupted your sleep and almost certainly left you doing more of the dinner and homework heavy lifting.

If he wasn’t doing this hobby but it just so happened that his car was in the garage the month that his mum was in hospital, you would feel much more supportive of the request, because as a standalone, it’s a bit logistically tricky but nothing awful

This request to use your car (especially with its potential further impact on your day if he is held up in traffic etc) has tipped you to 105%, hence you are annoyed.

. Worth thinking about how the hobby will fit in for the rest of your lives together

As long as he's filling the tank up and it's not fishing and stinking my car out with eels then I'd be ok with this.

I think golf too

Terribly sorry 😞

I think you are being petty to be honest. It’s only for a short time, who cares?! Seems like it’s more because you don’t like the hobby, rather than because he wants the car. I think if I ever get to stage I would begrudge my husband using my car for a month, I would probably start to think of a divorce.

I agree-I would be annoyed if my partner wouldn't let me use their car-obviously unless they were using it. If you don't support his hobby, say because you feel he spends too much time on it that should be spent on the family, that's a separate discussion. But just stopping him enjoying himself for no reason seems cruel-I would not be happy if my husband did that to me.

A hobby with that level of commitment and associated cost would annoy me…. But on this particular issue you’re being a bit mean

I bet it is rowing

I'm guessing the hobby is animal based, so the animal has to rest between sessions