AIBU / Ridiculous re putting extra mileage on my car

[MileageWoes]

DH works from home, I work full time in the office. He is having major car trouble and will be without a car for the next few weeks. Obviously he doesn't need a car for work but he has a hobby that he travels to so is using my car morning and evening to do this. It's a 40 mile round trip, twice a day so means that he's putting over 500 miles extra on my car every week! I think he should cut back to once a day until he gets his own car back and he thinks I am being very unreasonable as it will only be for 3/4 weeks.

I WILL NOT BE DISCLOSING WHAT THE HOBBY IS! (I don't want to out myself and it's really really not relevant to my question)

Perhaps they should also look at sharing personal free time and household chores equally in their marriage too?

14 x round trips a week plus time spent on the mystery hobby must add up, 20 hours a week at least? Does the DH do a fair share of stuff at home and does the OP also get 20 hours a week to do as she pleases or does 'shared and equal' only apply to use of her car?

My car insurance has a restraint on my mileage up to 15,000 miles so this extra could affect your insurance.

and again, not necessarily. late DH and I had very different needs and preferences in cars and we each chose our own. He did a lot of long distance motorway mileage and big loved sporty saloon types and I did practically all my mileage over very rough rural roads so I really needed (and wanted) 4x4 and high clearance. I really didn't like his to drive and never drove it, he didn't mind mine but would never have chosen it. If he needed to borrow my car, then of course he could do so but not when i needed it. All car costs were funded out of joint finance. There are also minor points like having to move stuff from car to car and seat and so on adjustment.

My first thought was that I couldn’t imagine a situation where I would begrudge my husband the use of my car… then I reread and muttered ‘what the fuck’ to myself realising he’s doing 40 miles round twice a bloody day! I think 99% of people would find that to be ridiculous and excessive for any hobby so I suspect it’s more about his all-consuming hobby and your feelings about that (valid if you’re fucked off tbh!) and not so much about the car!

If he is going twice a day it’s not a hobby, it’s an unhealthy obsession.

Yep, this has been my feeling about it for some time. It most definitely is a hobby - it's not a competitive sport as some people have suggested.

But that's not the point of the thread, and the overwhelming majority feel that I am being unreasonable to fret over the extra mileage for 3/4 weeks so I have taken that on board and won't mention it to him again.

Is it racing pigeons? If so, the mileage is probably the least of your worries

Twenty thousand. Not two. Twenty. That will seriously impact depreciation of a vehicle. Mine would lose an extra £2,500 per year doing 20k Vs 10k miles

😂

although he doesn't need his car for work we use it to go places as a family or on longer journeys because it's much bigger and more comfortable

So you are happy to benefit from using his car when it's available but not keen to share yours? This seems oddly mean and unreasonable.

I agree with others, if the issue is the hobby, address the issue. Don't deflect into petty arguments about car millage.

2,000 miles a month is 24,000 miles a year. He needs to pay for tyres and servicing g!

Who tends to the horses at weekends if he’s only tending them five days a week?

SinnerBoy
2,000 miles a month is 24,000 miles a year. He needs to pay for tyres and servicing

But he isn't doing 24000 Mike's. He only wants to use it for a couple of weeks.

OP seems pety especially as there is another family car available.
Although we pay for our own cars in our family, they are pretty much interchangeable by need.

I was wondering this too. The fact it’s every day both morning and night suggests some type of animal is involved. Could be wrong of course!

Just what I rhought.

???

Is racing pigeons commonly used as cover for something nefarious?

500 miles per week x 4 weeks = 2000 miles. Which on an already old small car will amount to the square root of naff all.

Yes I thought swimming.

ds and I do 4 days of running to the pool twice and a day of just once. He has 2 days off!

that why we are out at 4.30am 5 days a week!

Or he could be a Swim coach volunteer as he enjoys it?

Sounds like you hate his hobby but won’t disclose what it is, so are enjoying the fact you could be in control for a while.

So you are happy to benefit from using his car when it's available but not keen to share yours? This seems oddly mean and unreasonable.
Just to point out, it is entirely his choice to use his own car when possible. He is only using mine at the moment as his is getting work done. And often I would choose to use my own car as I find his too big for parking etc. but if we are going on a long journey it makes sense to use his and that is his preference.

I agree with others, if the issue is the hobby, address the issue. Don't deflect into petty arguments about car millage.
Yes, I have already said this is the root of the issue really and I see that I have been unreasonable/petty to make an issue of the mileage.

Glad you’ve seen the light op, dh would keep putting petrol in to make sure he didn’t leave mine without any for when I needed it and I’ve no idea how many miles my old car has done (I think it’s 20 years old!), this would not be something I got irate about. He does enough other things that piss me off, I don’t need more excuses 😂

Tell him to take up cycling - it won't be as outing as his current hobby

Golf?

You are married, they are “your” cars. If the extra mileage will cause an issue due to a PCP or whatever then hire one for a month if the other one of YOUR cars is off the road. Or spend £2k on something that won’t loose any value to get your through.

Rowing? My DS has started it this year and he trains 6 times a week and he's 14. If the OP's DH is rowing in his own crew and coaching some junior crews too then this is entirely possible (thinking about DS's coach who seemingly must live at the boathouse despite having a demanding job).

Our car's mileage has increased from 7k per year to a projected 22k this year. My goal is to get it to 200k miles which frankly won't be much more than 18m away. 500 miles a week, for a month or 6 weeks isn't much, but if that continues it'll add up quickly