Am I unreasonable to refuse parcels and ignore toys thrown over?

[Oopsadaisy92]

I need some rational advice. Last year My neighbour sold his house to the council and we have since had a new single lady move in with her five children. This woman doesnt appear to work and only 3 of the children go to school. I believe they are 1, 3, 5, 7 & 9. This woman speaks broken English so its difficult to talk build up a relationship.

Aside from the twice daily walk to school they never ever leave the house and this is where my AIBU starts.

She has everything delivered to my house - im talking at least 5 parcels a day from the tik tok shop and then food shoping too. I was originally taking them in but they are starting to disrupt meetings (I wfh 3 days a week and 2 in london). My first Aibu is am I being unreasonable to now start sending them away even though I know they are for next door. - ive tried telling the delivery man that they are for next door but he doesnt believe me and says theirs probably someone in my family with her name (?!) and ive tried letting her know that my husband and I are not around all the time to take them in and when i am around im in meetings but its falling on deaf ears. My husband has always sent them away but she looks so creastfallen whenever she comes to The door looking for them and it makes me feel bad.

My second AIBU is because these kids never leave the premises, they always play/argue in the garden - in all weathers. They are really loud and we get all manner of toys and sticks thrown over the fence with the expectation to send them back. My husband says to ignore them. And again theres not much we can do whilst we are away from the house but at the same time I dont want their stuff building up in my house and damaging my flower beds. (God I feel really old saying that! Im only 30) does anyone have any recommendations or thoughts on if we are being unreasonable. We cant really enjoy our garden with their screaming all the time.

I would refuse any parcels-how dare she use your address! I’d be worried she’d get involved in something dodgy and there would be a CCJ against my address. I’d go round there today and tell her to change her address now and that I would be refusing any of her parcels from today.

Tell her she has to change all delivery info to her Full adresss.

That you will not be taking anything else in for her from now on and mean it.

How do you know that she is not doing this on purpose so you take in and she then reports not delivered ?

So looks like you have kept the items especially if delivery staff take picture of you/ your open doir taking it in.
If you continue to take in you will have to take a picture of her taking it from you 🤣 to cover yourself. I

Re Garden i would just chuck them back all ie once every few days or weekly when she is in her garden or put on her doorstep no bag just dump individually like they arrive atvyours.

If this continues tell her that you will give toys etc to a charity if she does not try and limit what her kids do.

Or have you got ring door bell to show she takes them from you

Have you told her to stop her rugrats from chucking stuff over your fence? Tell her to do that as of now, and to change her tiktok address. This is bollocks! You have the patience of a saint.

If parcels have my address on, I'd be stock piling them, not giving them back for starters, fuck her! As with the things being thrown into my garden, these would be going in the bin as they obviously don't want them. I would also stop answering my door to this arsehole and stop all form of communication. I'd also report to the council in regards to the constant noise and 2 children not in education, should they even be there? I'd be fucking fuming working from home with this shit going on daily

Its only her and her 5 kids. No one to hide parcels from

I will be tomorrow morning... we had 8 more items thrown over today! 😱

As an update, she hopped our 6ft fence last light to retrieve a teddy bear. Am I wrong to feel violated by that?

I'd be fuming thats trespassing!!! Cheeky Mare!! Get a dog!!

Tell her that she must not order any deliveries using your address and that her children must not throw things over the fence, and that she is not allowed into your garden.

Contact her landlord / the council to say the same. Start recording everything now, the number of items going over, type etc (to show it's deliberate).

Honestly, this is unlikely to get better without you enforcing action from her landlord/the council. You need this stopped before the summer arrives, otherwise you won't have the benefit of your own garden.

Just tell her that seeing as she’s insisting on using your address for her deliveries, you’re now going to keep everything sent there. Food, gifts, clothes. Everything.
And any toys thrown over your fence will be immediately binned or given to a youth centre.

She hopped your 6ft fence? Quite agile then or did she have a step up from the other side? And you obviously saw her do this, did you engage with her?

And how did she get back @Oopsadaisy92 ?

Yes!! You need to go around there and say jumping into your garden was unacceptable and if she needs to retrieve items, her kids need to stop throwing them over the fence.

Then whilst you’re at it, tell her to change her address for parcels otherwise anything you get delivered will be kept.

You absolutely have to stop this now. It’s becoming her normal so it won’t get better. Make it very clear, no more deliveries, anything in your garden will go in the bin and she stays out of your property.

Or tell her your going to call the police for trespassing
( they probably wont do anything even if you did ) but she may not know that and get scared.

Worth getting a camera up and a sign saying cctv and ring doorbell at front.

Agreed thats what's worrying me x

What sort of stuff can you buy from a tik tok shop, is it cheap stuff like Temu.

Presumably- the stuff the comes over the fence is cheap. I dobt use tik tok but imagine its Chinese cr*p

It will be more than a couple of hundred quid a month if she has five young children. You do realise it’s not a cap on child benefit?