Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to leave a friend's flat because it was too messy?

88 replies

Browndoor25 · 08/04/2026 20:16

Ok so firstly he knows I’ve taken photos and that I’m making this thread. He doesn’t care.

I traveled across the country to stay with my friend for afew nights. I knew he was a messy bugger, but I overestimated my ability to cope with mess. We are good-ish friends but complete opposites when it comes to the house keeping and cleanliness department. He’s gone through a really hard time recently so I can’t be too hard on him. He said he spent days cleaning for me and that his flat is the cleanest it has even been, and he was genuinely offended that I wouldn’t stay. He is such a lovely guy, he offered me his bed and he would have taken the sofa but I just couldn’t. So I’ve booked a last minute hotel! He thinks I’m being a drama queen with my ridiculously high standards. Maybe I am, I don’t know. Am I? I feel quite guilty and this isn’t supposed to be a serious thread. We’ll probably have a laugh over it later in the hotel bar 🫣

AIBU to leave a friend's flat because it was too messy?
AIBU to leave a friend's flat because it was too messy?
AIBU to leave a friend's flat because it was too messy?
OP posts:
Browndoor25 · 08/04/2026 20:17

More

OP posts:
MuffinCrumbs · 08/04/2026 20:20

I'm confused what mess? The carpets need a good hoover but that's it, surely?

Hatty65 · 08/04/2026 20:20

I'd have stayed in that as a student.

Now I'm a grown up it looks manky and I would have booked myself into a hotel.

Overtheatlantic · 08/04/2026 20:21

Can’t he just run the hoover? I would stay but that’s just me, not being bothered by what I see in the pictures.

summitfever · 08/04/2026 20:21

You’re not unreasonable to leave but if that’s the cleanest it’s ever been I’d be asking if his mental health is ok. If he’s just a lazy manky bastard then fair play to him for trying but no he can’t expect you to stay in that, it’s honking.

Wowzel · 08/04/2026 20:21

I'd have got the hoover out and made him help

Wallywobbles · 08/04/2026 20:21

Does he know how to turn Henry on?

Pettifogg · 08/04/2026 20:21

Well I'd probably have helped him clean it to be honest. It is a bit grim though with the fag butts on the floor and the debris all over the carpet.

DeftGoldHedgehog · 08/04/2026 20:22

It does look filthy.

ChickenBananaBanana · 08/04/2026 20:22

Surely for a friend you'd just say oi where's your hoover not take photos to prove you're right

TwistedWonder · 08/04/2026 20:22

I think you’re completely unreasonable to post photos online to shame your friend

TheGrimSqueakersFlea · 08/04/2026 20:22

Wallywobbles · 08/04/2026 20:21

Does he know how to turn Henry on?

Show him a sexy hoover?

Browndoor25 · 08/04/2026 20:23

..

AIBU to leave a friend's flat because it was too messy?
AIBU to leave a friend's flat because it was too messy?
OP posts:
BudgetBuster · 08/04/2026 20:24

Would you not have been better to flick the switch on the hoover and help him out.... instead of making a thread on Mumsnet to shake him and prove you are somehow superior?

user2848502016 · 08/04/2026 20:25

Depends what the bed and toilet looked like really

ChickenBananaBanana · 08/04/2026 20:25

BudgetBuster · 08/04/2026 20:24

Would you not have been better to flick the switch on the hoover and help him out.... instead of making a thread on Mumsnet to shake him and prove you are somehow superior?

I know right! With friends like op who needs bloody enemies

Unnecessaryletter · 08/04/2026 20:26

I'd be too stressed out too, to be honest. Grotty environments make me feel really anxious and depressed. Dread to think what the bathroom / toilet would be like...

OnTheBoardwalk · 08/04/2026 20:26

It does seem grubby but if he has spent days cleaning for you then it could be that this is the last bit of cleaning that needs doing and he needs some help

what about bedding? Was he actually going to make up the sofa as a proper bed with clean bedding or clean bedding on his bed? If not that would be the deal breaker for me

TheTulipsAreOut · 08/04/2026 20:27

Friend you say!

mathanxiety · 08/04/2026 20:27

YANBU.

I don't know why others can't see the third photo.

That place is grim. There's messy and there's just plain dirty

catipuss · 08/04/2026 20:27

If you don't like it don't stay there otherwise shut up.

Bristolandlazy · 08/04/2026 20:28

Plug that hoover in and have a power hour, help him, he's your friend. He's struggling.

mathanxiety · 08/04/2026 20:28

OnTheBoardwalk · 08/04/2026 20:26

It does seem grubby but if he has spent days cleaning for you then it could be that this is the last bit of cleaning that needs doing and he needs some help

what about bedding? Was he actually going to make up the sofa as a proper bed with clean bedding or clean bedding on his bed? If not that would be the deal breaker for me

That would be a case of makeup on a pig.

Trainup · 08/04/2026 20:28

It’s not messy in the photos but it’s dirty and in need of repair. If it’s that visibly dirty then what’s going on in the bathroom and kitchen that you can’t see?! Germs from unwashed hands etc. Dishes washed in filthy water with bits stuck to them. Mould in the shower etc. I would not stay.

vodkaredbullgirl · 08/04/2026 20:29

What a nice friend you are. Shaming him by posting pictures online. You could have offered to help him, if he would have allowed you.