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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think that if young children are having full on tantrums outside, they should be taken indoors?

152 replies

toonoisie · 08/04/2026 18:29

My next door neighbours have a couple of toddlers who play a lot in their garden. I’m not expecting silence and normal playing, laughing, even the odd cry doesn’t bother me.

But what’s starting to really grate is that when the tantrums kick off, they just leave them outside. These aren’t quick little moments either, it’s full screaming, crying, shouting, going on and on. Sometimes the parents are out there but just let it carry on, other times they actually go back inside and leave the kids out there still in the middle of it.

Even when they’re just “playing” it’s very loud, lots of screaming rather than normal chatter, but I’ve tried to ignore that because kids are kids. It’s the tantrums being left to play out in the garden that I’m struggling with.

It feels a bit unfair that everyone else has to listen to prolonged screaming when it could just be taken inside and dealt with there. I wouldn’t mind nearly as much if they at least brought them in once it escalates.

I also don’t feel like I can just have a quiet word with them as we’ve had issues over parking in the past, so it’s not exactly a comfortable or friendly situation.

OP posts:
IdaGlossop · 08/04/2026 18:39

The main point is missing from this account. The parents are not dealing with the tantrum ie standing close by in silence then being sympathetic. Poor children, regardless of whether the tantrum is outside or inside. And poor you, having to listen to it.

CleanSkin · 08/04/2026 18:43

First post, & all that -
Yes, it’s the toddlers who deserve the TLC here.

araiwa · 08/04/2026 18:47

Thousands of scientific papers that say tantrums reduce by 70% inside

frozendaisy · 08/04/2026 18:49

They won’t be toddlers for long.

Personally we would’ve tried to work through it, emotional regulation and such like.
But if you don’t get on they are less likely to care what you think or how it affects you.

Octavia64 · 08/04/2026 18:50

um, it’s quite difficult to get a toddler having a tantrum to move at all much less go inside.

Comedycook · 08/04/2026 18:50

Yabu

LoveSandbanks · 08/04/2026 18:53

we have neighbours across the road who’s kids make so much noise in the garden during school holidays. Their back garden seems to acoustically aligned with the front of our house so our bedroom and office gets the full force. Perfect when wfh 🙄

Seeline · 08/04/2026 18:53

Octavia64 · 08/04/2026 18:50

um, it’s quite difficult to get a toddler having a tantrum to move at all much less go inside.

Rubbish - you pick them up and carry them!!
By 4-5 that is harder, but toddlers are fine.

toonoisie · 08/04/2026 18:54

Octavia64 · 08/04/2026 18:50

um, it’s quite difficult to get a toddler having a tantrum to move at all much less go inside.

They have done it sometimes especially when it is their bedtime so not impossible.

OP posts:
Gleanzer · 08/04/2026 18:55

Yes we used to bring ours in in meltdown for the neighbours' sake. But I've never fallen out with neighbours over parking either.

toonoisie · 08/04/2026 18:58

Gleanzer · 08/04/2026 18:55

Yes we used to bring ours in in meltdown for the neighbours' sake. But I've never fallen out with neighbours over parking either.

Lucky you.

OP posts:
Nopenott0day · 08/04/2026 19:19

Octavia64 · 08/04/2026 18:50

um, it’s quite difficult to get a toddler having a tantrum to move at all much less go inside.

They are portable, they weigh less than 15kg/20kg. Just pick them up.

Octavia64 · 08/04/2026 19:22

Cripes.

when mine had tantrums they’d kick and bite if I tried to pick them up. I guess some are more amenable? I stopped trying after a while as it made things worse and hurt!

Neemon · 08/04/2026 19:25

You sound fun.

LindorDoubleChoc · 08/04/2026 19:27

When your child is having a tantrum it is just something that you have to cope with. And you should always be mindful of the impact it is having on people within earshot - this includes neighbours in back gardens.

Vconcerned1 · 08/04/2026 19:28

Are you a parent OP? If so, how old are your children?

toonoisie · 08/04/2026 19:29

Neemon · 08/04/2026 19:25

You sound fun.

So do you.

OP posts:
OonaStubbs · 08/04/2026 19:30

Modern children are far too noisy. I miss the days when children were "seen and not heard". Life was far more peaceful.

BananaPeels · 08/04/2026 19:31

Gosh you would have hated us- we’d put our children in time out outside in the garden (weather permitting). It was safe and they could exhaust themselves for a few minutes!

MissyB1 · 08/04/2026 19:32

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Weeklyreport · 08/04/2026 19:33

Vconcerned1 · 08/04/2026 19:28

Are you a parent OP? If so, how old are your children?

Why does that matter? You either think it's okay for parents to leave their toddler having a tantrum in the garden or you don't. The OP's parental status is irrelevant.

MissyB1 · 08/04/2026 19:34

If any of mine had a tantrum in the garden they would be taken inside immediately. I suspect the parents think they can just ignore it until it ends but that’s bloody antisocial when the kid is outside.

Hedgehogsaremything · 08/04/2026 19:34

Hahahahaha, when mine were (infrequently) having a tantrum INSIDE I would pick them up, put them out in the back garden and lock the door….

They knew even as toddlers that it was unacceptable to make a public racket and would quieten down within a minute. I think the change in atmosphere made something click in their minds.

And don’t come at me. I have three loving sons in their late teens, early 20s. And I am still on good terms with my neighbours.

toonoisie · 08/04/2026 19:37

This reply has been deleted

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As do you.

OP posts:
AintNoPunshineWhenShesGone · 08/04/2026 19:40

Octavia64 · 08/04/2026 18:50

um, it’s quite difficult to get a toddler having a tantrum to move at all much less go inside.

Blimey, how much did your toddlers weigh? 😳