Ditzy women

[Wellwhatnowbellaboo]

... Drive me bloody bonkers. Just that really . I'm probably going to be flamed but seriously - I notice them more and more and maybe its my mindset ( driving, parking, meandering taking ages to decide in front of a supermarket fridge, forgetting appointments we've made, at work not knowing whst meetings are about etc.)

Anyone share my frustration!

I just call them annoying idiots, no matter the sex.

Thing is though, i think i was often dismissed as "ditzy" before i was diagnosed with ADHD. Because i am a woman, probably.

You clearly have issues - I'm not going to make them mine I'm afraid but thanks for sharing them so openly

Yeah, fuck off, man. Honestly, it's pathetic.

This sounds like me in later age

What do you think I should do to fix myself OP?

Or just perhaps travel off to Dignitas and be done with it as Im such an inconvenience.

Hah! You started the thread dear. Clearly it's you who had issues.

Why don’t you try asking ask these corporate men how their washing machines works or the name of their child’s teacher. Quite likely you’ll flush out their ditzy side if you try hard enough.

I know exactly what you mean but I know the grand total of 1 my sister friend
Permanently in damsel in distress mode
Literally makes out she’s incapable of doing the most basic things
quite sad really because but anything happens to her husband she fucked

it’s definitely a persona she likes to project she’s had so very challenging impressive jobs in her 20’s then went into dumb blonde mode when she got married

I’d say it’s just a quirk of her personality rather than an actual thing about women

That's not being ditsy though, it's lack of experience, and lack of confidence, and personality. It works the other way too - my friend's FIL can't work the washing machine because MIL always did it.

People of both sexes have ‘ditzy’ moments. Good grief, if one of my colleagues were a woman he’d definitely be accused of being menopausal! He regularly forgets meetings, turns up to the wrong room, is consistently late at marking work etc. No, not Alzheimer’s either, he’s just a flakey ‘ditzy’ MAN.

So yeah, it isn’t exclusive to women. Having said that, I think with everything we go through hormonally we’re actually allowed to feel ‘ditzy’.

Yes, exactly this. I wasn't diagnosed with ADHD until adulthood, and throughout my childhood, teens and twenties "ditzy" was one of the many pejoratives used against me (along with lazy, disorganised, dreamy, forgetful, thoughtless, incompetent, clumsy).

ADHD is routinely underdiagnosed in girls and women. There are likely thousands of us out there being sneered at for ditziness until we get the benefit of a formal diagnosis.

@igelkott2026 I 100% agree with you. If this thread was about ditzy men or incompetent men i'd be making the same point. But this thead is specifically about women. Can't a thread be about something without comparing it to another?

Ms Perfect needs to give a full explanation of why she's so amazingly better than everyone else.

I'd bet any money she's autistic. People who are ND often need more time to process, especially in unexpected or social situations, probably referred to as ditzy, dithering etc.

OP I think you be a lot nicer and a lot happier if you weren't constantly rushing around. You sound like someone who thinks their time is more valuable than anyone else's because you are an important corporate person. I wouldn't be surprised if you were very entitled and frequently looked down on other people. Well I guess you're already looking down on so called 'ditzy' people.

Like other ND posters upthread, I have also developed social anxiety due to neurotypical judgement and intolerance in situations like the OP describes. I'm not making any claims about my intelligence but it's hard to tell in such a brief encounter whether someone is ND or just 'ditzy', and I'd say there is an overlap between low IQ and ND. I hope the increased awareness of ND means that more people consider this rather than assuming that the other person can help it.

Ditzy woman here and I'm so glad I'm pissing you and other people off every day of my life. If we were all the same life would be boring.

I often struggle with dressing myself and leaving the house. I wish I was someone who found life easier.
I'm also successful in many areas of my life.
Do you truly not understand why people may struggle with basic life things or are you just crapping on people who find things tough?

I think I was thought of as ditzy when I was younger and other people would get very impatient with me for not being “on top of things”. I was being ditzy because I was struggling with panic attacks where I became incapable of making decisions. It is a really strong physical reaction that I have no control over. I didn’t tell anyone so people just thought I was incompetent and then I would agree with them to hide my anxiety. I don’t think you can understand how bad panic attacks can be unless you have experienced one. I wish I didn’t have them and could not be ditzy. Now I am older I am much better at recognising situations that cause me anxiety & self-soothing when I still have the panic attacks. I had one yesterday though while out, I got too hot, it was too busy & noisy - some people were probably like you & thought I was incompetent.

Think you are missing some sympathy OP, not everyone in life finds being on top of things easy.

You have a point - thank you for sharing. I would hope I'd be able to spot if this was the case but recognise that I may not and my own days stresses will have a huge part to play in my level of patience on a day to day basis.
Having read a lot of these comments I've also realised it's more a personality type I THINK that I'm irritated with and a poster further up pointed something similar out. The oh what am I like type . I'm sorry fir your daily struggles and I'll keep this in mind when I feel frustrated next time
No need to respond if you wish not to but what brings on the panic attacks since childhood ? I hope things are better now

Thanks also to you OP for taking some comments onboard, and for acknowledging that we don’t always know why someone else is acting the way they are. I hope this has helped you see things from another perspective and will help you in situations where you get annoyed with

I grew up in a house where “bad” things happened and no-one stopped them. I was scared, small and alone, I had no-one to reassure me & tell me I would be OK. I had times of complete despair, and so I had suicidal thoughts from quite an early age.

Something will trigger me, it could be a work situation where I feel very undermined, or outside work with dominant people where I feel pushed around in some way and then I am instantly back in my childhood room again with the catastrophic and dispairing feelings again - and I become physically incompetent (I can’t drive, I drop & break things, I forget things etc) as well as unable to have rational thoughts. So I wouldn’t wish panic attacks on anyone. Usually in this situation I pretend I am just incompetent or I try to get away & hide because I don’t want to tell people what is really going on. Only a few people in my life know.

Thanks for asking, I am better now at managing my reactions, its not perfect but its better.

Jennifer Lawrence seems to fit this trope. She also seems genuine and a nice person.

What?

We have a ‘friend’ (she’s the wife of my husbands friend) who prides herself on being a ditsy woman. She says things like ‘girl maths’ and ‘pink jobs’. She gets lost regularly, locks herself out, went away and left her passport in the kitchen - this sort of thing. She posts it all on FB and I think she’s delighted with her ineptitude.

She admits with glee that she’s ‘thick’ and ‘hopeless’. I think she sees herself just as an accessory to her husband. She cries if anyone looks at her sideways. She cries with laughter at pretty much anything. She wears things like Mary Janes and Saltwater sandals, plus lots of brightly coloured clothes and jewellery.

I’ve never met anyone else like her in my life.

Why are you always in such a rush op?

I don't want to be! I have a hugely stressful job I can't afford to lose , a child going through gcses with SEND , trying to be a perfect mother and wife for the most part . I'm a prolific planner and need structure and to that end every day is planned to the 10 min increments. This is probably the issue and truthfully I'm more tolerant in holidays and weekends! So anyone that's remotely not on it I feel interrupts,my schedule and that's stressful. I'm sure we all have times like this .