Page 5 | Ditzy women

Wellwhatnowbellaboo · 2026-04-08T14:25:27+00:00

... Drive me bloody bonkers. Just that really . I'm probably going to be flamed but seriously - I notice them more and more and maybe its my mindset ( driving, parking, meandering taking ages to decide in front of a supermarket fridge, forgetting appointments we've made, at work not knowing whst meetings are about etc.) Anyone share my frustration!

hiintrepidheroes · 08/04/2026 17:54

These women do exist though. I work with someone who can’t understand that women can be physically strong and giggles saying ‘oh I need a strong man to move this’. I also regularly walk past a car with the sticker ‘hot girls hit curbs’ which annoys me more than it should for the sentiment that women can’t drive.

Whereistheweevilexactly · 08/04/2026 17:54

MrsMoastyToasty · 08/04/2026 17:50

In my experience ditsy women rely on their DH to do everything to do with finances.
Typical convo:
"My Derek used to do the banking and pay the bills".
"Where's Derek now?"
"He died. I've never had to do this"

Yeah that’s all very well but maybe Derek was an arrogant arse who didn’t let her “interfere” with money matters. It does happen more than you might think.

Original poster

Wellwhatnowbellaboo · 08/04/2026 17:54

ImFinePMSL · 08/04/2026 17:41

Oh I can definitely see the OP to be the type to not wear makeup, drink pints and be “one of the lads”.

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Quite the contrary 😆 not my type at all but I don't want to judge those too ! I'm probably the type you don't tolerate. Corporate job, fast paced, don't have time for many things so always rushing from school gate to work to gym to coffee . No lads at my table with my friends and a nice bottle of wine when I get the chance ! Am I your irritating type?

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BeebeeBoyle · 08/04/2026 17:55

BeebeeBoyle · 08/04/2026 17:53

Interestingly, the men who struggle to make the tiny decisions tend to be in big jobs. Their wives would often also excel in those jobs but on account of one of the pair needing to do the humdrum tasks, they end up losing their minds trying to pack for a family of 6 for holidays, buy the right amount of vegetables for nightly dinners and park a too-big car in a too-small space in order to embark on duller than ditchwater tasks.
Guess who gets the praise and guess who gets the criticism? That's right!
Extra points if you can guess if this poster is in that exact partnership 😐😵‍💫🫠😉

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And before someone pipes up that they manage to "share the load" and both are equal in their partnership WELL BLOODY DONE. Most of us are not superhuman and could do a good job very well OR struggle to do the boring shit. We are absolutely not capable of doing both so shhh.

Lugol · 08/04/2026 17:55

Wellwhatnowbellaboo · 08/04/2026 16:05

I am a woman. And no its not just them but mostly yes . How is that Sexism to want my own sex to be more ON IT . ARE YOU A DITZY ONE ?

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Yes dear. Of course you are. 🙄

5128gap · 08/04/2026 17:58

FallacySunken · 08/04/2026 15:34

I have to say that I hate the trope that appears on films. The clumsy young woman in her 20s or 30s, tripping over on her way to the office, being clumsy, forgetful, grabbing her breakfast, dropping her handbag and spilling her coffee etc. I have seen it in so many films now. The women I know do not behave like this and I absolutely hate the portrayal. Once you notice it, you see it in a lot of TV programmes and film films.

Its a shame about that really. Because I think when women writers started to do it it was well meaning, the creation of flawed relatable heroines as an antidote to the idea women have to be perfect all the time to be acceptable. I think we were supposed to think its OK if we mess up. However like everything in the wrong hands it becomes a stick to beat us with, and rather than the message being amazing women can mess up, the messing up becomes the defining characteristic of women.

GinaandGin · 08/04/2026 17:58

BetteDavisChin · 08/04/2026 15:40

At least women don't (as a general rule) blast my ears with tuneless whistling in the supermarket.

This whistling
It makes my ears bleed

ImFinePMSL · 08/04/2026 17:59

Wellwhatnowbellaboo · 08/04/2026 17:54

Quite the contrary 😆 not my type at all but I don't want to judge those too ! I'm probably the type you don't tolerate. Corporate job, fast paced, don't have time for many things so always rushing from school gate to work to gym to coffee . No lads at my table with my friends and a nice bottle of wine when I get the chance ! Am I your irritating type?

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I also have a corporate fast paced job. Go the gym, and have wine with friends. Perhaps we’re colleagues?

I knew you were my irritating type as soon as I read your OP with your internalised misogyny re: “ditzy women”.

Lugol · 08/04/2026 17:59

ginasevern · 08/04/2026 17:29

I'll get flamed too (and I'm definitely a woman) but I do find that it's almost always women in supermarkets blocking the aisle or shelves, or letting their kids run bloody riot whilst yacking mindlessly on their phones. It's as if they've been sucked into a different dimension where the rules of time, space, manners, dignity and other human beings don't exist. And no, they aren't all taking urgent calls about their grandmother's sudden demise or that Trump has nuked Iran.

It's usually women blocking the aisles because it's usually women doing the shopping.

Men as usual do very little of the mindless shit like this so you won't find that many in the supermarket (unless buying their own personal protein shit for the gym).

Original poster

Wellwhatnowbellaboo · 08/04/2026 17:59

OwlsDontGoToSchool · 08/04/2026 17:05

The last two books I read had a ditzy "hot mess" as lead character, I did not find either at all likeable or endearing but wonder if this is a thing that we are supposed to identify with, they were both supposedly in their late 20s/early 30s I think.(Vivian Dies Again and All the Other Mothers Hate Me)

Perhaps... it really intrigues me and irritates me at the same time . It could be an actual choice and it might be a pull for some men. I just can't get my head around actively trying to come across this way but that's me !

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aredrosegrewup · 08/04/2026 17:59

OP this post is awful! I had never been a "ditzy woman" until the trauma of 3 pregnancy losses, infertility, anxiety, depression and other griefs finally caught up with me!

I could barely think about what to do next never mind do a quick food shop or remember all the things on my to do list.

Instead of being judged and chastised, my husband picked up the slack at home and my lovely colleagues helped me out at work for a while!

You need to look at yourself before commenting on others.

FoolOfShips · 08/04/2026 18:03

There's a difference between being performatively ditsy, cultivating it as an adorable quirk a la 1000 movie heroines; and being genuinely absent-minded or having so much to do that you lose track of things.

I think people are missing that distinction.

Original poster

Wellwhatnowbellaboo · 08/04/2026 18:04

ImFinePMSL · 08/04/2026 17:59

I also have a corporate fast paced job. Go the gym, and have wine with friends. Perhaps we’re colleagues?

I knew you were my irritating type as soon as I read your OP with your internalised misogyny re: “ditzy women”.

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Why does my view infuriate you? Why do you think I have internalised misogyny? I don't tolerate what appears to be incompetence and general "half arsed-ness . Why is that misogyny? I wouldn't tolerate it from a man either

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MrsColinRobinson · 08/04/2026 18:12

DeftGoldHedgehog · 08/04/2026 16:18

It's your issue. You are the one who started the thread because you are angry about "ditzy women". I don't give a fuck about people taking a second longer about something that some other dickhead thinks should be done faster. I do care about people spouting sexist bullshit, whether they are male or female.

You asked the question whether it's your mindset that is the problem. Clearly you've got your answer.

In short, calm down dear. 😘

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This with knobs on!

You have a really poor attitude towards women you should work on.

BeebeeBoyle · 08/04/2026 18:18

ginasevern · 08/04/2026 17:29

I'll get flamed too (and I'm definitely a woman) but I do find that it's almost always women in supermarkets blocking the aisle or shelves, or letting their kids run bloody riot whilst yacking mindlessly on their phones. It's as if they've been sucked into a different dimension where the rules of time, space, manners, dignity and other human beings don't exist. And no, they aren't all taking urgent calls about their grandmother's sudden demise or that Trump has nuked Iran.

I'm the first to criticise (anyone, really) but you are only noticing the women here - possibly a biological trait - because I notice far more men being utterly useless in supermarkets.
It may just be that I go shopping when more men are.

BeebeeBoyle · 08/04/2026 18:22

WonderingWanda · 08/04/2026 16:50

Let's just think about why the women you are so scathing about are being as you say ditsy or indecisive?

I am a highly competent woman with a demanding full time job and two teenagers. I have a dh who works hard and chips in but his job is even more demanding and ridiculous. When I've done all the meal planning for every week for most weeks for the last 16 years and when I've finished work after a long day and realised I forgot to buy dinner and am shattered as well I may at the supermarket on the way home and as well as being physically exhausted it's also the mendta load. So chosing a parking space or deciding what to buy feels overwhelming and I just stop processing and start dithering.

When I was pregnant the hormones made me so tired I could sleep standing up, after giving birth I could've cried because the shop didn't have an ingredient I needed or I couldn't find it.

Sometimes in the past I was so sleep deprived by my small children that I just cannot think quick enough. When I have my period I literally become extra clumsy and find my depth perception altered and I need to be way more cautious driving.

Other times I am ditsy because I'm simultaneously trying to remember what clubs the kids have that week, whether we need washing powder and whether my elderly relative is ok and how I feel guilty they are alone and when can I fit in going to visit them.

Basically women are hijacked by hormones continue to carry the mental load for everything. Men who do all the mental load are rare in my experience and even if they do, their hormones remain even and no one really gives a shit what they look like and their fashions rarely change, they don't need make up, tights, nail polish etc so again reduced mental load for them. Also, people respect them more and don't take the piss by not giving way or stealing their parking spaces or generally referring to them as hysterical or ditsy or other negative language reserved especially for women so they get less stressed.

This! I wish I was your friend 😊

ginasevern · 08/04/2026 18:27

Lugol · 08/04/2026 17:59

It's usually women blocking the aisles because it's usually women doing the shopping.

Men as usual do very little of the mindless shit like this so you won't find that many in the supermarket (unless buying their own personal protein shit for the gym).

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Fair point, and as a wife and mother I know this to be absolutely true about men. But it still doesn't excuse the mobile phone obsession/addiction. I've heard the conversations because it's unavoidable. They can be taken later, if at all. And it certainly doesn't excuse the total zoning out of society or basic manners. I'm no fan of men, but how is that behaviour their fault?

Original poster

Wellwhatnowbellaboo · 08/04/2026 18:31

ItActuallyDoesButOk · 08/04/2026 17:10

I’ve been called ditzy or variants of a lot, I’ve had people call me a thick bitch for taking too long for their personal liking in a supermarket, I stumble and trip, I drop things and believe me, I wish I wasn’t like this, it’s caused me to have severe anxiety around being in public, especially when someone may want to be in the space I’m in.

I try my best, I really really do but I have multiple conditions working against me, I have dyspraxia, I have dyslexia, I have dyscalculia, I have rheumatoid arthritis, I have a severe lung disease, I have severe anaemia. Strangers don’t know this about me when they see me taking longer than they personally do. They just see “ditzy” or “thick” and some people think it’s ok to nudge me with their trolley or put their hands on me to tell me ten seconds is long enough to reach what I need, or call me names. I’ve also had the shitty “how do you get dressed before leaving the house” and it’s not the gotcha they think it is either, the answer is, I struggle with that too. Then there’s people who know me well who think I’m putting on an act because “you seem smart”.

I try not to give in to anxiety and just stay home all the time, it’s not easy though when you know you’re annoying people behind you when you’re not fast enough for them.

I'm sorry to read this and I hope you get to go out and do what you need and want to. You are most definitely not the person I'm referring to here! Any medical conditions are obviously different and I'm sorry you are going through this

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MrsColinRobinson · 08/04/2026 18:32

Wellwhatnowbellaboo · 08/04/2026 18:04

Why does my view infuriate you? Why do you think I have internalised misogyny? I don't tolerate what appears to be incompetence and general "half arsed-ness . Why is that misogyny? I wouldn't tolerate it from a man either

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Are you always so deliberately obtuse? It's a wonder you hold down your high flying corporate career where you're oblivious to the plethora of clueless men propped up by their wives and junior staff.

Why don't you try to understand by going back to the article about internalised misogyny you poo poo'd earlier in the comments. You desperately need to educate yourself.

Muffinmam · 08/04/2026 18:33

Wellwhatnowbellaboo · 08/04/2026 16:23

Never in my life met a ditzy man sadly but I work in corporate with a lot of senior men so maybe that's why. It would irritate me equally as much I'd think

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I once saw a man at my local supermarket freak out as he lost his phone while doing grocery shopping.

It happens to all of us.

What I’m more interested in is why you seem to detest women?

Original poster

Wellwhatnowbellaboo · 08/04/2026 18:35

MrsColinRobinson · 08/04/2026 18:12

This with knobs on!

You have a really poor attitude towards women you should work on.

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Why do you think it's a poor attitude towards women ? Do some things not grate on you that people do ? Is every different view to yours a poor attitude ? If it affects me in any way I can absolutely have a view. I'd it doesn't then I don't care just like you don't

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Original poster

Wellwhatnowbellaboo · 08/04/2026 18:38

Muffinmam · 08/04/2026 18:33

I once saw a man at my local supermarket freak out as he lost his phone while doing grocery shopping.

It happens to all of us.

What I’m more interested in is why you seem to detest women?

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I never said I detest women 😂. Read my OP. I'll give you an example of last week - I have a really lovely cleaning lady in personality but ffs I have to make lists for her for everything.... then she keeps forgetting. Every f time. She needs to step up or I'll find someone else . Is she lovely? Definitely- so I don't detest her . But she's ditzy as hell and preoccupied and I don't have time to do half her job for her . There is no "detest" in there . Some people will read sexism and misogyny into absolutely everything

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FlossTea · 08/04/2026 18:39

Wellwhatnowbellaboo · 08/04/2026 16:52

You are correct- I do not have a high opinion of ditzy behaviour . I'm not saying it's right- I have to tolerate it of course but boy does it grate on me. We all have things that grate on us about other people. If some truly "act this way " on purpose I'd love to know why ! Am I missing a trick 😂

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Why would people do things like forget appointments on purpose? It hardly makes life easier. I have ADHD and am a lone parent juggling a million different things all the time, I often get timings muddled up for things or leave things in places and believe me i wish I didn't, my life is stressful enough without the added stress my brain seems determined to bring to it!

Original poster

Wellwhatnowbellaboo · 08/04/2026 18:41

FlossTea · 08/04/2026 18:39

Why would people do things like forget appointments on purpose? It hardly makes life easier. I have ADHD and am a lone parent juggling a million different things all the time, I often get timings muddled up for things or leave things in places and believe me i wish I didn't, my life is stressful enough without the added stress my brain seems determined to bring to it!

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OK but you are not the type I'm talking about either ... are you silly and clumsy and forgetful and just generally appearing incompetent most of the time ? I bet not . I have friends with adhd and they go through waves but I wouldn't call them ditzy

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MrsColinRobinson · 08/04/2026 18:46

Wellwhatnowbellaboo · 08/04/2026 18:35

Why do you think it's a poor attitude towards women ? Do some things not grate on you that people do ? Is every different view to yours a poor attitude ? If it affects me in any way I can absolutely have a view. I'd it doesn't then I don't care just like you don't

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Things grate on me. Particularly sexism which you continue to vomit out of each post.