DH hates the sunshine, feel sad about family days out etc

[LittleHoliday]

DH has always hated the sunshine and warm weather, he grumbles and moans like anything the second the sun comes out. We both happened to be off work today, so I suggested taking our 4 and 6 year olds out somewhere nice. He basically said not to be so ridiculous as everywhere will be heaving! The kids have spent the day in the garden, whilst I've been doing some gardening and he's been inside reading! He then said he wanted to spend some time with them as he's off... So he's taken them to the cinema and told me to put my feet up in the garden.

Part of me thinks that at least everyone is happy with what they're doing, but it does make me sad that he never wants to go to parks or make the most of being outside. He's a good husband in all respects, and the second it starts snowing he's bundling the kids up to build snowmen and have a snowball fight! It's not that he's lazy. I just find his hatred of the sun so irritating!

Dear lord.

He’s selfish! Your kids shouldn’t miss out because HE doesn’t like the weather.

How have they missed out?

OP wanted to do one thing with the kids, her DH wanted to do a different thing with the kids. And he has done it.

Why does OP win out over her DH as to which activities they do?

I read thread after thread after thread on here about how parents dont want to or dont take their kids out in 'bad' weather. No one blinks an eye about that. No one cares that kids are 'missing out' (because they're not)

It doesn’t sound like your children are missing out really so not worth fretting about.
Does he dress properly for the weather? Sun hat / glasses, loose covering clothing might help him enjoy it a bit more.

We live in a tourist area. Two big accidents on the road to Wales on Tuesday. They're repairing barriers so single lane traffic, big traffic jams.

We stay away when places are busy let the tourists have them.

This is the crux of it, for me.

While quieter places do exist, depending on where OP wanted to go and how they'd have got there, it's possible today would've been quite unpleasant. Or more so than a garden the DC seem to be pretty happy with anyway. Lots of places will have been not only rammed, but rammed with people who've not been outside for a sustained period in months and have forgotten how to behave.

And paradoxically days like this can be quite good for indoor stuff because so many people want to make the most of the sun. Personally I wouldn't have picked the cinema, because that's only ever going to have as many people as there are chairs. But today will have been a great opportunity for anyone wanting quieter time in somewhere that's usually crowded, like a museum or soft play.

I have a DH who is naturally pale, while I tan easily.
I love being in the sun, he doesn't.

Somehow we cope!

Is this a clinical diagnosis of a patient you haven't yet met, or ill-informed speculation? Either way, it's disgusting and MN are right to look down on people who post like this

He's being very precious and can power through this, for the sake of his children. I am a redhead with freckles, super pale and burn really easily, I suffer from heatstroke, the glare of the sun gives me migraines, I HATE being hot - I am convinced I was a frog or toad in a previous life. I am made for cave dwelling.

I wear factor 50 (light oil formulation, can't stand wearing suncream either), a hat and sunglasses and spend as much time as I can outside with my kid. Taking them to the cinema on a day like today is madness. Cinema is a 'we really can't do anything outside today' activity. Torrential rain, freezing cold. Today is the park or out in the woods (he can find shade there!), or a beer garden with good play equipment, or even back garden with paddling pool if we're feeling very British. The beach. I am gutted I am indoors.

i hate heat in the uk too its true everywheres busy i get irritable sounds like a good idea to go cinema

Also. It's not even that hot today. It's a nice day, is all. If we were talking late 20s, early 30s or higher, then yes, I could understand.

But today is just not-wet and sunny.

He doesn't have to love the things you do, OP.

I hate summer and yes, people come at you like you're the Grinch, I guess because most people love it.

I love Xmas BUT I try to be understanding with people who don't.

Because , you know, we're all different!

That said, as parents, sometimes you just have to force yourself to go to a park or a BBQ, even if you don't enjoy it.

You need to sit down with him and have a bit of a chat about compromise, TO INCLUDE you being understanding of his clear dislike of Summer, because he can't help it.

Because he refuses to take them out in nice weather. Are you deliberately obtuse or struggle to read the op?

Well presumably because their dad doesn't get involved in entertaining the kids when it's nice spring weather or summer, or whenever the sun is out. So during a high percentage of the school holidays family days out can only consist of doing something indoors - like the cinema. Otherwise he stays at home whilst she takes them to the park, the beach, for a picnic, the zoo or whatever. And I assume they have to go on holiday when it's sub zero temperatures too. I mean, I hate the winter and the cold but I didn't refuse to do activities with my son because of it. Parenting isn't all about what you want to do.

I sort of get it actually.

I like the sun when we haven't had it for a while, like in spring, but I do agree everyone goes mad for it. I don't like heatwaves in the summer. The novelty quickly wears off for me though, especially in summer heatwaves. I despise being too hot.

We went to soft play today and there were literally only 3 families there. It was heaven.

I don’t like hot weather but I get everyone out for 8.30 and we do all the “fun” by lunchtime.

We can’t all like the same things, thankfully!

It's hot here. Home Counties. Indoor thermostat is showing 24 degrees. So in the sun it will be hotter.

It's like a properly hot summer's day outside.

What's his reaction when you show him a bulb of garlic? Just a hunch I have 🤔 🧄 🧛 🦇

You have got two kids and the older one is six. Is it not a little too late to find one of your husband's behaviours irritating, assuming he has always been like it?

As a one off it doesn't matter - sounds like your children had a nicely balanced day of garden play then cinema. But will he avoid days out all summer, if the weather is nice? Or just certain popular attractions?

I don't like hot weather but I like the sun being out and it's nice this time of year because it doesn't get silly hot like it can in July.

And he's right about everywhere being heaving. You either love crowds and want to join in, or you don't. I am definitely in the "see a crowd, drive/walk away and do something else" community!

As for family beach days - yuck. What is the point of beaches? You can enjoy looking at the sea or going on a boat trip without needing to get sand in everything and step in the inevitable dog poo. I don't suck it up - it's hideous. My DH used to take DS to the beach for a bit and play ball when we did holidays near the coast but I didn't go. I took ds to the pool with flumes instead.

Surely the perk of being an adult is that you outrank the kids and choose where to go (within reason, obviously you do have to do things like sit through swimming lessons).

Yes I was thinking this afternoon I should have gone for a (indoor) swim, nobody would have been there!

I feel like the sun brings out all the idiots and as much as nicer weather is supposed to lift your mood it makes me agitated and weirdly depressed. I understand where your husband is coming but he knows by now that warm days are limited in the UK and I think moaning about it every year is silly. He should compromise for you and the kids