DH hates the sunshine, feel sad about family days out etc

[LittleHoliday]

DH has always hated the sunshine and warm weather, he grumbles and moans like anything the second the sun comes out. We both happened to be off work today, so I suggested taking our 4 and 6 year olds out somewhere nice. He basically said not to be so ridiculous as everywhere will be heaving! The kids have spent the day in the garden, whilst I've been doing some gardening and he's been inside reading! He then said he wanted to spend some time with them as he's off... So he's taken them to the cinema and told me to put my feet up in the garden.

Part of me thinks that at least everyone is happy with what they're doing, but it does make me sad that he never wants to go to parks or make the most of being outside. He's a good husband in all respects, and the second it starts snowing he's bundling the kids up to build snowmen and have a snowball fight! It's not that he's lazy. I just find his hatred of the sun so irritating!

This is one of the best posts Ive ever read on here, and for all the wrong reasons!!!

You clearly dont even know what OCD is!!!

I share a family with two people who don't particularly like the sun. It's so alien to me, but I have got used to it!

I feel your pain, OP. My DH hates sun, sand, water, anywhere with people in it, and leaving the house. It’s a pretty miserable existence.

Try and compile a list of acceptable non busy places for when the weather is good. Plan picnics etc so you won't need to queue for cafes etc. We live in Devon but know plenty of locations in both Devon and Cornwall which will be empty even when there are loads of tourists here in the summer. Think shady forests, open moorland, remote bits of coast path rather than popular beaches. Or sometimes just take them, if they want to go to a farm park or something for example then take them and he can either come or stay home and be miserable on his own. It doesn't need to always be his way. There needs to be some compromise on his part. Sit down with him and tell him how it's making you feel sad.

It's 23c here and I took DS out for 3 hours and have got sunburnt.

I too have the ginger gene another poster mentioned. My dad is actually allergic to the sun! It brings him out in hives and he has special prescription cream for it.

Personally I like it warm and hate the cold but I also hate being in direct sunlight as I burn easily, and DS gets overheated really quickly in anything over 18c so I have some sympathy with OP's DH.

I’m like him too. Heat plus noisy crowds is a double whammy. That’s not to say I never, ever go out but it’s a test of endurance. I wish I could be a sun worshipper but I just feel so shit in the heat.

Which makes sense. Being a consultant psychiatrist, you're the person I'd least expect to try and diagnose someone through the medium of brief MN posts. Because you know enough to know what you don't know!

Could also be that bright sunshine or heat makes him headachy or tired. You could try a walk in the woods and see if he enjoys it more.

To be fair to the pp, my ex was like this with sunny weather - he would close all the doors and windows and pull all the curtains and refuse to set foot outside. He was ND and OCD and the feel of getting hot he found physically uncomfortable because it was outside his control and anything he couldn't control made him feel ill and angry.

Time to start my routine of hiding threads devoted to moaning about our (rare) beautiful weather.

Odd wtf has weight to do with the post?

I love the sun. Just not how it makes people crazy for the beaches and parks they wouldn’t visit on a day below 20c lol

But we only know what OP has told us, and none of it sounds like OCD. Saying that is not a 'diagnosis'.
Perhaps DH does have OCD, but we can't tell from what has been said.

Well OPs husband has set foot outside because he takes them to the cinema and presumably other activities.

OCD as you hopefully understand is about a compulsive repetitive behaviour formed from obsessions, not simply withdrawing because you find heat uncomfortable and distressing.

I do this once it gets hotter than 26 or so otherwise im throwing up and get migraines no OCD just cant cope with heat. Today ive been in the shade cant stand the burning feeling so woods are the goto place

My two family members would far rather spend a sunny afternoon in a cinema, than outside. Neither of them have OCD.

Not everybody likes the sunshine, people!

Yes of course, but the pp who was saying that OCD might feed in to this dislike of sunshine was being berated, when it's not a total disconnect, as OCD and dislike of situations that are outside the comfort zone of the sufferer might possibly have had some relation to the post.

Yeah I hate the sunshine too. I have suffered it today but I mean suffered. It's hot, I'm sticky, it was busy. Do you hate the cold and wet though weather op? Maybe the kids are getting a good balance of one of you each likes the different weather. I'm happy to take the kids out anywhere and do anything in any sort of weather that isn't heat and bright sun, wind and rain are no issue.

Dehydration not very common in the UK. A bit exaggerated

Not according to all the people who insist that schoolchildren must have access to their water bottles at all times.

I don't like hot crowded places either. First really warm day of the year that also happens to fall in a school holiday - yes, many places will be heaving and not very pleasant.

He's a parent now, and parents have to sacrifice their personal preferences sometimes, or risk them exercising their preferences to upset / harm / annoy their spouse and/or children.

My personal preference would have been to never attend a primary school Christmas play, but I gritted my teeth and attended every bloody one of the damned things - because to have exercised my personal preference would have upset my child.

Your DH needs to man the fuck up and put his children before his own wants, once in a while.

I’m assuming this is not a new thing OP, and he clearly likes being outside in other weathers and spending time with the children so I fail to see the issue. I’m assuming you knew this about him before having children?

A lot of people do not like to be outside in certain weathers, and for some people being outside in the sunshine is as awful as being out in the rain is for others.

I sympathise OP I literally take any excuse to be outside, so this would depress the hell put of me!!

Your DH needs to man the fuck up and put his children before his own wants, once in a while.

The children played in the sun while their mother gardened, and now their father has told her to put her feet up while he takes their children to the cinema.

What a BASTARD!!

They arent related except to say that one MH condition often is comorbid with other vulnerabilities.

There is literally nothing in OPs description of her husband which points to any conditions at all or PD or ND or emotional vulnerability. He simply doesnt like hot or warm weather or bright sunshine by the sounds of it. He also doesnt like busy places, presumably when hot but perhaps at any time of the year

He might have every condition under the sun, but nothing in OPs description gives rise to that at all. Its quite remarkable that someone would think that.

It screams 'man always wants his own way' to me...