DH hates the sunshine, feel sad about family days out etc

[LittleHoliday]

DH has always hated the sunshine and warm weather, he grumbles and moans like anything the second the sun comes out. We both happened to be off work today, so I suggested taking our 4 and 6 year olds out somewhere nice. He basically said not to be so ridiculous as everywhere will be heaving! The kids have spent the day in the garden, whilst I've been doing some gardening and he's been inside reading! He then said he wanted to spend some time with them as he's off... So he's taken them to the cinema and told me to put my feet up in the garden.

Part of me thinks that at least everyone is happy with what they're doing, but it does make me sad that he never wants to go to parks or make the most of being outside. He's a good husband in all respects, and the second it starts snowing he's bundling the kids up to build snowmen and have a snowball fight! It's not that he's lazy. I just find his hatred of the sun so irritating!

Er no, you avoid them for the 2/3 weeks that it is horribly hot and people all crowd to the outdoor spaces they usually avoid. You do outdoor events, beach and park days the rest of the year, and if you have one sun loving parent as in this case then you swap roles according to the temp

Im with your DH on this one. Im not a sun fan. If hes a good hubby id let if go (and get him some VITD)

That would really work for me: he could do sledging and snowmen, which I hate and I could do beach days and picnics, which I love. I would also get to sit in the garden on a nice day sometimes with no DCs. If my dcs were still small I might be offering a husband swap.

You can do family days to inside venues, and outside in moderate temperatures

Sweating, hard to drive due to sun in eyes! Constant sun cream application, dehydration, wrinkles! Dry hair!! Need for fake tan!! Sunglasses! Heatstroke, Having to shave legs! The list is endless, bring on Autumn!!

Are you qualified to make such a diagnosis, based on virtually nothing?

It's April, though, how hot and sunny can it be?

@LittleHoliday

Is there a reason you don't take the DC places yourself? My DH used to work Sundays and to avoid terminal boredom the boys and I were out and about almost every Sunday, at least for a few hours.

We go out very early, first ones through the entrance! This could be the answer for you Op as you can all enjoy the 'calm before the storm' vibes, then get home and relax mid afternoon. Everyone happy
Hope you and your family enjoy yourselves whatever the weather!

Honestly? Heat stroke? You don't need fake tan. Dehydration not very common in the UK. A bit exaggerated

I get that he doesn't like it too hot (neither do I) but why not take them out yourself to the park or wherever and have a picnic?!
Don't miss out just because he can't be arsed or doesn't want to. If I waited around for DH to go somewhere, we'd never go anywhere 🙄😁
Life's too short.

The last place I’d go today was a beach or park. Tomorrow sure but not today.

The first few hot days or even weeks of the year it’s pure stupidity. Suns out and sardines on the beach and parks.

We have a large garden so can chill there and then enjoy the outside world when everyone else has had their omg it’s sunny hit.

It's boiling here today!
No doubt back to blowing a gale tomorrow though....

I have OCD, the diagnosed kind, so definitely understand what it is (mine had nothing to do with tidiness either), and what you are saying sounds nothing like OCD!! Anxiety sure, but not OCD.

OP I relate to your husband too (for non OCD related reasons!), i have a lot of sensory issues and really struggle with the summer. I try not to let it impact my child too much but it definitely affects how we plan outings etc, I'm constantly seeking out the shady spots! It's not just that i don't like the sun, i wish I did but it's more that i physically can't tolerate it, the heat or (maybe even more so) the brightness

I hate the sun - I feel really unwell in even the mildest heat, faint and sweaty and horrid. And I burn insanely easily even with factor 50.

We try to compromise - we don’t go on super hot beach holidays as I’d never cope with it, but I’ll go somewhere if I know there will be shade, A/C etc.

Same goes for local days out - I’ll go if there is sufficient shade etc and suck it up for the sake of DH and kids. But if I know there’s no shade etc then I won’t go as I know my limits.

Some people are more prone to it than others, several medications (SSRIs being one of them) increase the risk of heatstroke and dehydration

I have sympathy with your husband. I'm not a summer person at all and I don't know why people insist there's something weird about it - I live in a climate where there is little hot weather and that suits me. I experience what people call SAD - it's the same basic disruption in the summer as others experience in the winter. I also get overstimulated - too much heat, brightness, glare and noise. It is what it is and I have forced myself to take my daughter in it and have hot holidays many time because she's a little summer baby. YANBU to be a bit sad that you don't really all go out together - but he's NBU either because it's really miserable if that's how it is for you. It sounds like he's pretty thoughtful and maintains a good relationship with you and the kids.

My wider family tends to go to hot, busy places towards the end of the day when it's cooler and less busy. The beach for example - if you head down at teatime it's often still lovely and still warm but less of the in your face summer. And I also am more likely to take my daughter out in all weathers. Rain doesn't phase me one bit.

Ahhh my people! V much relate to this, last year i even bought a shade umbrella for the school run, gamechanger! I've concluded its possibly the brightness more than the heat that i can't cope with (though i don't love the best either....)

And I’m overweight and love the sun and hot weather. Hate cold and damp.

Exactly! Its bloody cheeky to assume that just because someone if heavier they hate the sun and prefer colder weather, its got very little to do with it.

Compromise.

When you know it’s going to be good weather…plan for a morning activity.

It’s cooler and less busy. For example, go to the beach at 8am be finished for 11am . That’s when the crowds really start to get busy and the heat builds up.

I understand how he feels. I think because we have such few sunny days in the UK when it comes out, everyone seems to flock towards the same sort of areas. Parks, beaches, other outdoorsy areas such as NT properties or maybe theme parks if they’re pushing the boat out a bit. I hate how crowded they become as a result. We just have such a small country but big population so everywhere gets filled up.

I like doing those things during the winter when everyone’s hiding away indoors.

It’s low 20s. That’s not ‘boiling’. It’s very pleasant.

I understand the dislike of outdoor recreational places heaving the minute there is a sunny day although it wouldn't stop us going out.I love the months between spring & winter. Blue skies, leaves on the trees,flowers everywhere, long hours of daylight when its never really dark,sunshine thats never scorching hot eg 40 degrees plus.What's not to like especially compared to a harsh winter.

Just looked out the window and the park off the field that is normally empty has lots of people having picnics.

That’s a park that’s never normally used much so I’d hate to see the closest beach.

You are unreasonable of course OP as different people have different likes and dislikes, thats all this is

I used to hate the sun and summer, but need it now as I get cold. However it used to really stress me and overwhelm me, the brightness and warmth, I would overheat and get overwhelmed

Recently over the bank holiday we were in a lot of parks as we were visiting somewhere and it was so packed and heaving it wasnt enjoyable even though I now like sitting in the sun, no where to sit for a start and people everywhere.

But as you say, his time to shine (no pun intended) is in the winter, so you just do different things at different times of the year, the kids wont miss out