Friend price checked my DH's birthday gift to me, in my face

[BigBird100]

A girlfriend googled the price of my DH's birthday gift to me (piece of tech) on the day I received it. She asked me what I received and I mentiined it over coffee and was beyond mortified she googled it and priced it. Who does that?

Not amazing behaviour but not something to get worked up about.
I mean, if you really didn't want her to pry you could have just given her a vague answer when she asked "nothing particular, just little bits". But you gave her in detail the make and model of the phone.

I think it depends. Did she Google it because she thought it was a cheap gift or because she couldn't believe how nice of a gift it was? I think that definitely matters. If she's trying to show him up because it's cheap then that's rude. If it's because it was an extravagant gift then I dont see her looking it up as offensive.

Openly investigating the price of someone else’s gift is rude regardless of motivation.

I obviously wouldn't do it in front of someone but might think 'oh I would love one of those, I wonder how much it is..'

A little thing call curiosity

She’s very rude IMO but this thread has made me realise that I use the phrase “did you get anything nice” when talking about birthdays/Xmas as a throwaway, a bit like “good weekend?” on a Monday morning. now I’m wondering if people find me rude…

I had this with a friend of mine after my 60th birthday - she was staying at mine and throughout the course of the evening (after guests had left) she systematically Googled the price of gifts I’d been given. With one gift (face cream) she even commented that it was very expensive but probably the person who’d given it me had bought it in a discount store. Told me the price of a house further down the road which had recently gone on the market (having asked me how much it was up for and I said I hadn’t looked - I hadn’t) and on one occasion asked me had I bought a new necklace (I had) and immediately started googling the price in front of me - asking what size was it!!

Totally fixated on other people’s expenditure and how they could afford their lifestyle.

I always think it's a shame when people focus on the gift side of birthdays.

Firstly, love the username 😊
That’s my worry, I’m really not focused on what they got for their birthday, I actually don’t care, it’s just making conversation!

So you meet your friend for coffee a day or so after her birthday and the grown up thing to do is show no interest in her life?

I totally get that! I always say "did you do anything nice?" And I realise that could create similar pressures but often my birthday treat is just a dog walk somewhere different so I am not expecting hot air balloon rides or transatlantic flights when I ask the question

I think the point is you could ask what they did rather than what they got.
Most adults don't have a focus on gifts on their birthday surely?

Just ghost her. Problem solved.

But it's presumably one question amongst several hours of questions.

Hey, did you have a nice birthday? Did yo udo anything nice? Did you get anything nice? Did your kdis olinsisy on making you a cake again? Did yo see that documentary in the Manosphere? Did your manager ever book your leave? Did you decide where you're going? Did you get the test results back from the hospital? Is Kelly still wetting the bed? Any luck with the assessment for the twins?
This kind of convo is perfectly normal with my best friend who I know always had a gift off her parents and husband, who knows I don't equate nice with expensive, who knows I'm asking to share their pleasure not to jot down the price on my Friend Husband Gift Comparison site so I know which hubby to target for an extra marital affair.

We share life's highs and lows. I wouldn't ask EVERY friend this, but I would one who I knew wouldn't assume something bad of my interest.

Also, MN is weird about birthdays and gifts, so that will skew the responses. No one is meant to enjoy celebrating their birthday or anticipate nice gifts hrcause it's so infantile

Nah that's really rude!

No of course not.

I would ask if she had a nice birthday. Whatever they choose to tell me about that I’ll take the conversation from there.

I don’t find being asked what I got rude, offensive or juvenile or whatever other hyperbolic view that has come up on the thread. It’s just that for various reasons my DH and I don’t always do gifts for birthdays or Christmas so it’s not what I would ask.

I’m rarely asked the question myself hence saying I found it a bit weird. Other people’s mileage will vary of course.

Given how judgemental/price focused some of the posters on this thread have been with regard to their friends’ gifts I’m happy to continue considering it a slightly weird question.

I don’t think more or less of my friends or their DHs based on how much someone spent on their birthday gift - I’d really hope that’s not an unusual position.

Is your friend into some kind of present fetish? Also sounds very sad.

Your so called friend has few or no boundaries. She has few or no filters. Sounds as though she was dragged up,in a dysfunctional family who had no idea about manners.

It depends on whether she was impressed that it was a big splurge of a gift or shocked that he’d just got you some cheap earphones from Asda

It’s such a small thing to do though - why are people talking about being dragged up?

At worst it’s a minor faux pas - not worth four pages of angst

Why would you ask what they did for their birthday? I don’t like being asked that because the answer is always ‘nothing’ and it’s gets awkward.

Outside of MN, do most adults ‘do’ things for their birthday?

Yep

Sadly, it's how she measures her worth. She sometimes does it with her shopping too. She can't understand why me and my husband don't spend a fortune on each other at Christmas, birthdays etc. We often have a special day out instead. I feel really sorry for her tbh, even though it sometimes drives me mad!

When you say high end mobile phone... is it a Vertu? And does it have a concierge button?

(Because I might have googled that, probably wouldn't have bothered for a new iPhone / Samsung etc.)

on the face of it, it is odd behaviour. Tactless!