AIBU to feel guilty about cheap school holiday days out?

[Tuxedocatlover]

I only have £80 to last until Tuesday and obviously it is the holidays and feel so guilty that we can’t go on extravagant trips like most people seem
to be doing. The kids went camping with their dad at the weekend, we spent the day at the park with friends yesterday and obviously ice creams and things add up.

When my children were 2 and 7 we had what remains to this day the best summer we have ever had. We couldn’t even afford to buy an ice cream from the ice cream van (and I’m honestly not kidding, my husband cried in private about it).

We now have a life we couldn’t have ever dreamed of, and that STILL remains the greatest summer ever. We made so much fun for the kids on basically fresh air. Researched and went to lots of free outdoor places, and we really did have a blast. If I could go back to one point in my life it would be that one. And honestly, we couldn’t recreate it now because what made it so amazing was how creative we had to be to have fun without spending.

Give your children fresh air and your time, and make memories without thinking they’re missing out.

Seriously your kids seem to have a lot more than many

There is no need to feel guilty about free activities. Free activities can be really fun!
Here are some free things my tween/teen kids enjoyed this holiday...
Bike ride.
Tennis in our local park.
Table tennis in our local park.
Hunting for wild garlic then making wild garlic pesto pasta with it.
Bluebell woods walk.
Skimming stones on a stoney beach.
Building a huge sandcastle on a sandy beach then watching the sea knock it down.
Admittedly, for the last two I did have to pay for petrol to get to the beach.
I am a bit puzzled why you say "ice-creams and things add up". They don't need to. When my kids wanted an ice-cream the other day we walked to Morrisons and bought a multi pack for £2.75. We never buy ice-cream from a van or cafe.
In answer to your second question I earn £2,600 per month after tax and we live on the edge of London.
Other cheap activities we've enjoyed this holiday include playing pool (£1.50 per match which lasts us ages because we are rubbish at it) and booking the badminton court at the local sports centre (£10.25)

Who is going on extravagant trips … to where?!? The weather has mainly been crap 🤷🏻‍♀️ We’ve done a local theme park as they have annual passes and a zoo pre-paid by grandparents as a bday gift. Other than that it’s been park, local beach and at home 🏠

£80 ive got about a fiver to last til tuesday thank goodness we're back at work and school

Not an issue to be honest - not long left of the holidays, and they've already been away, so don't feel like they've missed out. Plenty of people grew up having a couple days out in the school hols, and spending the rest of time just playing out and watching TV and have plenty of lovely memories!

If you're looking for stuff to do for free for the next couple of days, send the kids on a scavenger hunt round the house for the following:

• a board or card game they want to play
• some unused craft stuff
• three bits from the recycling they think they can use for a 'challenge' later on
• something they haven't played with for a while and want to give away
• supplies for a pamper night (if you have that sorta stuff)

Then sort some 'indoor activities' - a craft challenge with their recycling bits (build a rocket/ build a marble run/ house for their teddy), a pamper night, a games afternoon, find some nice drawing or painting tutorials on YouTube and put it on the TV, some baking if you've got the ingredients in. If it's be a change from the norm, a day where you let them play video games all day (with you if possible) may also be fun, And outdoor activities - print a map of the local area and get them to plan a long walk (if you fancy, you can turn it into a 'survey' of local chippies/ice cream shops etc - get one small portion to share in each place and sample and rate from each place), a picnic and visit to the best local park, scavenger hunts (rural if you've got woods locally, if not colour/ alphabet can also work), visit the local library and an afternoon/evening all cozy and reading together, if you've got bikes could do a long bike ride one day. If there are other families you're friendly with who also have kids, get them involved if you can, kids are usually happier when there's more of them to play!

When I was growing up we didn't do expensive days out. We had one weeks holiday a year. My mum didn't drive, so most of the holidays while dad was working we played with our friends, had an occasional bus trip or walked to the beach, about a mile away. It was a lovely childhood. Kids don't need to have expensive treats. It makes me wince when people say 'we've done this this and this' like a tick list of expensive attractions. Go to the park, have an ice-cream. The libraries do free fun activities. Honestly, just relax and have fun with your kids. It's not about money xx

My DC have never really been interested in extravagant trips. I’ve offered some this holiday but if I’m honest that’s to give me some structure rather than them. They’ve much preferred play dates, seeing grandparents and cousins, being at home with board games cooking making slime drawing or being in the garden. They turned down swimming because they were a bit tired and wanted to make models.

We went to a garden centre we hadn’t been to before as they stocked something I’m looking to buy later in the year. I bought the children some juice as they were thirsty. Garden centre was a massive highlight as there was a huge aquatic shop so we spent ages watching the fish and it had a birds of prey centre which we watched for free.

Lots of mundane detail about my very ordinary life, to say that even though my household income is a multiple of yours me/ kids still don’t have an instagram lifestyle either. I’m a middle class professional and also not endlessly attending improving activities at museums or paying for lots of extra curricular. I wont spend £80 on my kids over the rest of the holidays but I have zero guilt and neither should you!

My childhood was a lot like yours and I feel the same.

My ex husband's family were very different. When he was growing up, it wasn't a day out unless it had cost ££ (80s so a day out rarely came to £££!)

What I found interesting was that he found it very difficult to enjoy the sort of days out and activities I planned for the children and, even though he did enjoy them when we did them, he still felt we'd let them down because it wasn't a 'real' or 'proper' day out (ie hadn't cost a lot of money at a big attraction).

I think there's definitely a difference in expectation from some people as to what a day out or having fun looks like.

You can go to the park, local library (if you have one) for free every day. Lots of places have free museums and galleries, nice walks, woods and free council run play schemes for low income families. At Easter lots of churches and cathedrals advertise children’s activities too- all free.

We’re well off but don’t do paid days out every day. The zoo, theatre and theme parks etc might be an annual treat. Instead we make sure we leave the house each day and go for a walk, bike ride, picnic or play in the park or library - all free.

No need to buy ice creams constantly either. Just tell your children no, or keep a box of supermarket own brand ice lollies in the freezer, or you can buy cheap ice lolly moulds and make your own.

You need to sit and go through two months bank statements and work out where your money is going and see where you can save.

Cancel subscriptions you don't need, look for deals on utility bills, swap insurance, etc etc.

Do you meal plan and shop weekly? I find nipping to the shop for something I've run out of turns into £40 for milk.

Does the father pay CS? See if you are entitled to any UC?

As for the holidays, lots of fun stuff is free or cheap. Not sure where you live but in Liverpool museums are mostly free and a great day out, swimming is cheap too, or go for bike rides, walks in the woods.

Depends where she lives as rent/mortgage payments vary greatly and she has multiple children. Well done for living on £1900 a month but where we live in the south west it would be impossible to pay rent and bills for a mum and multiple children on that salary. Rent for a 3 bed house is £1200pcm!

Do something free! I take my DD3 (17) down to the beach and we hunt for sea glass. Completely free, exciting when we find different shapes and colours of glass. Hearing the waves, feeling the breeze... It's great.

Things you can do at no extra cost that my children loved. Children don't need grand days out, they need love and attention.
Baking - flapjack or cupcakes if you have the ingredients or scones or rice crispi cakes.

Library & Book tent - visit your library, pick books and then make a tent from a sheet to read them in. My kids love this especially if we put out cushions to play the floor is lava when tidying up.
Library events - Also check out your library for cheap or free events in the holidays. Summer holidays my library normally runs the Summer Reading Challenge - an event to read 6 books and collect stickers and prizes.
Picnic - park and one of the things you baked on a blanket
Junk modelling - make a robot / animal / garage for cars
'Visit' a country - borrow books from the library about a country, cook a meal, read about the country, make an itinerary, try out some art in they style. Australia and China were popular for my 2 as they liked pandas and koalas.
Make a treasure trail- could be go to where the red door is on xxx street, then you give them the next clue, takes time to set up and you need a small bag of sweets for the end. Makes the walk to the shops more interesting. Also play eye spy in the way to the shops.
Kids like days out as they make memories of spending time with parents, chatting and laughing. You have food in the fridge which can turn into cooking together activities and hugs to give for free. You'll make a super holiday time.

I have £80 as well and was quite chuffed by that! We have another week off. Got a walk to a local landmark, free library visit, cinema using meerkat movies and swimming planned. Free stuff can be fun.

Reading some of these replies, I do find it baffling when people say we’ve got loads of disposable income and don’t go anywhere. I don’t think you need to spend much but I find it depressing when people don’t do anything with their children and have no excuse not to. I’m talking about engaging with their children not just leaving them to it on screens. I think time to relax is great but it’s so easy to allow unlimited screens and not bother with your children (not including people who have to do this as they’re working).

Well, when I say that I mean free/cheap stuff, not that we do nothing!Yesterday I took mine for a woodland walk and a picnic. Then we came home and my dd went to her friends and my ds played outside. A friend of mine visited in the evening. Cost me very little.

Thanks for answering and I appreciate some people mean they do nothing as in just park, walks, playing etc. I just have a few friends who will gladly spend a fortune on a day out then leave their children on screens the rest of the time off because they’ve had a treat. The day out was worth it to them to give them the rest of the time ‘off’.

My kids love a playdate way more than an expensive day out. Cheap to do especially if you can avoid meal time - you just need a few snacks (which perhaps you already have or you could do some baking with ingredients you already have). Even if you can't avoid meal times, you can make a reasonably cheap tea for some extra kids if needed (tomato pasta or pizza, for example).

Is that an option, OP? Invite the other parent round for a cup of tea at the same time and it's win win.

OP i posted earlier but just to add i grew up very well off financially. We had fabulous holidays, nice cars and a beautiful big house but what I didn't have and desperately craved was normality.

My mum and dad to read me a bed time story, take me for a walk, play with me on our local beach and show they cared. I envied my friends who had mums who were at home, who took them to the park and cared for them daily. I grew to resent the fancy holidays because they meant my parents worked more hours for them. Things like mean nothing when they come at a price of never seeing your parents much.

My kids have had a mix of uk holidays, lots of free day trips out and the odd occasional overseas holiday. Kids just want quality time so ignore the fancy Instagram photos. They are not real but make your memories.

DD has been to work with me 3 days this holiday, and worked with her Dad for 2 days. No breaks away at all, days out have been swimming, walks or bike rides - all local. The rest of the time has involved the local park and home.
it is what it is.

My children love a sleepover in the living room in front of the TV. Buy a bag of popcorn if you like, but this isn't needed. Sleep in there with them.

Have breakfast for dinner or pudding before dinner. Anything to break "the rules".

Plant sunflowers.

Have them set up a cafe- make menus and they can take your order and serve you. Or all dress up for dinner and serve juice in wine glasses.

Have them do something arty, but sit and join in and make something too. Build a den.

They will just enjoy spending time with you.

Admittedly I’ve only had them since Good Friday as they spent the first week with their Dad but we went to my mums for an Easter egg hunt and to the park, our local play area has been redone so we spent nearly 3 hours there on the Tuesday whilst my eldest went and played sports with his mates and got ice cream and Wednesday I used my Meerkat rewards to go to the cinema for cheaper than it would have been. Bought sweets from the shop rather than buying popcorn at the cinema. Thursday they did sweet FA and yesterday was much the same, although my eldest who’s a teen went out with his mates. Do not feel bad, good grief. You can’t be doing things and entertaining them every second of every day. I don’t get where that mindset has come from, being bored and creating their own fun is an important thing to learn!

My greatest memory as a child was doing nothing in the hols. Just mooching round the garden, playing out with friends, going to friend's houses, watching tv, reading, colouring.... we just were pretty much left to our own devices. The trips were so rare I still remember them very distinctly, swimming at the leisure center on the inflatable, the imperial war museum in Leeds (amazing, really stuck in my head), natural history museum (free anyway but travel must have been expensive), Cadbury world. That's it. I think it literally must have been a trip every other summer. We did do a yearly holiday too. I don't really feel like I was hard done by. Nowadays (I'm guilty too) we seem to plan out every single day, loads of activities, loads of organised fun. Let them make their own fun for a bit. Or do a picnic if you've food in the fridge. Channel a 90s parent "no ice creams, I've got a choc ice in the freezer at home".....

Kids want to be outside running around in the fresh air, most of the time they aren’t bothered about expensive days out that requires lots of queuing in busy places. You could get a cheap cup cake kit and make some cakes? Fun doesn’t need to be expensive. Kids remember the little things they did. Big expensive days out should be less frequent so they can be remembered more.