AIBU to feel guilty about cheap school holiday days out?

[Tuxedocatlover]

I only have £80 to last until Tuesday and obviously it is the holidays and feel so guilty that we can’t go on extravagant trips like most people seem
to be doing. The kids went camping with their dad at the weekend, we spent the day at the park with friends yesterday and obviously ice creams and things add up.

Yes that one sorry! Kids go free on the bus if your local and 25 % off if you use bus. Got the code if anyones local to me & interested.

We had a weekend trip away to London, which was so expensive we haven't been able to afford to do anything else during the holidays. It's fine because it's what we planned for. And to be honest, we've been perfectly happy chilling, playing, and doing domestic stuff at home most of the time.

Apart from that we've had one playdate and a park picnic with DC's aunty, which both cost nothing. Pretty sure that's fine and normal.

Don't worry about what you think everyone else is doing, it's not worth the stress.

I get free cinema tickets via sky and never use them. Happy to send you them if you PM me and want them xx

If you count up all the performative fb posts then compare them to how many parents you know on fb, you’ll see that the majority aren’t doing/documenting anything dramatic. The show offs get the most attention, that’s all.

We do picnics on a pebble beach by the river with the beach toys (DD14 takes a book too). Or we go to museums, lots have free events on. Or we go to the park with friends.

If I had kids who’d eat a new food I’d help them make popcorn or ice cream of whatever flavour they wanted and eat it in front of a film.

We're a high income family and we've done nothing this holiday other than a quick overnight visit to family!
Literally not a single day out, nothing. I don't get where people get this idea 'everyone' is cramming the school holidays with posh days out to attractions and ice creams bought and everything - it's such a waste of money when kids are happy with some down time at home playing in the garden with a cheap ice lolly from asda!

Cineworld do some £2 ticket movies for fairly new releases not the newest but say Zootopia 2 that was released at Christmas. Could do that and take your own popcorn etc from Aldi. National trust have loads of amazing places to visit for free just make a packed lunch to take! Free museums etc! Xx

Honestly it wasn’t meant as a criticism, I don’t care if people buy ice creams every day, it was more about semantics really , that to me ‘a treat’ is something that is occasional and random, not an expectation every time you go out anywhere. Maybe it’s more about how I perceive the word ‘treat’ - !!

When I was a kid we played games in the garden, maybe went to the park, very occasionally drove into town for a wander round the shops (rarely buying anything) and I have quite literally the fondest memories possible.

Not everything has to be Instgrammable.

You can make the so happy for less than £80! Kids honestly just want time.

We have spent every day scooting. Boring as fuck for me doing the same route round the neighbourhood but whenever I ask what they want to do - scooting. Scooting to the park and an hour there is fun for them. Don't buy into the consumerist lifestyle.

Take your child to asda and tell them they can pick any tub of icecream they want. Considerably less than a tenner amd they will be so excited to choose anything they want. Great for sticking on a cone.

Simulate the cinema with snacks and cuddles and a bottle of fizzy.

Have a pretend sleepover where you play truth or dare, eat icecream and wear pjs.

Make walks engaging with activities like first to get to the tree, bark rubbings, drawing a tree, counting ladybirds.

It's honestly just all about the time.

We are trying to have a cheaper Easter last week we did -
park / had a ice cream
dentists
local youth club free activities
Easter traill
cinema (£9 with o2 took own snacks)
this week-
hair cut
visit grandparents x2
free mini golf/ park
free museum

So you need foot access to these things. Not everyone lives a bus ride away from large attractions.

If we're being really honest, the money for days out is being spent because it literally provides the entertainment: it does 80% of the effort of parenting.

Its much easier if you have the money to spend £££ to go bowling, take turns doing something fun and then come home and put the TV on than to pretend to be a horse or play barbies for an hour.

So don't feel guilty. The time is the harder investment.

When out on beach trips we usually get boxes of coop own brand ice creams rather than expensive ones. A couple of quid for a box of choc ices to finish off a home made picnic. The most expensive thing at the moment is car parking and fuel so if you can utilise public transport even better.

Go to the park, buy a box of ice creams from Lidl/Aldi, and eat them when you’re out. Tap water from home, pack sandwiches before you go out. Bonus if you’ve got spare ice creams at the end of the park trip, as DC hands them out on the walk home. They’d only melt otherwise, and this way we spread a little bit of happiness along the way.

Some excellent ideas on here.

I would add cooking - ds loves making spaghetti with homemade meatballs and tomato sauce. Or a pizza night is always fun where you make the dough yourselves and everyone gets to do their own toppings.

Aw OP, money can be such a worry. 💐

My nicest memories of my mum are a time we sat on a wall eating oranges that she had in her bag, playing charades and drawing pictures with her. The free and cheap stuff is fine.

I’m wondering if there’s a bit more to this. The kids apparently went camping with their dad at the weekend……does this mean the parents are separated?
And mum is feeling guilty that she cannot afford to be a ‘fun parent’ in the holidays

I may be way off base but that would make sense 🤷‍♀️

No. But some people do. It was a kind offer even if not helpful to you.

You're allowed to come up with your own ideas that are appropriate to you locally.

what a big fat first world problem

my parents grew up in communism, no hearting in subzero temp, queuing for their weekly ration of food in the ‘super’market, did not go on any holiday for 10 years to save up and yet they managed to not feel so sorry for themselves as some individuals on this forum

Oh no - this sort of busybody post is what I hate about MN!!

Let's not speculate or try to 'read between the lines' in a perfectly simple, straightforward question from OP.

The number of armchair sociologists and psychiatrists on here...🙄
Someone will be diagnosing neurodiversity next from the comfort of their computer chair.
Let's stick to the matter in hand.

We don't have money worries but my kids have never had extravagant days out. If we’re not abroad during the holidays then it’s always just been walks to the park, play dates with friends, just basically hanging out.

We live in London so there are usually lots of free things to do in town during school holidays but we rarely even do those.

Life is so busy when they’re in school, school holidays should be for letting go of routine and just playing.

Get dc to get on board with finding free stuff to do. Google free days out near me and see what comes up.

If anything dc loved the idea of saving money and what they could get for free
Even if they went to an arcade it would cost me nothing because they would run around looking for coins left in the machines or that had fallen on the floor.

I got packing a picnic down to a fine art. Even the disposable cutlery, napkins, salt, pepper, sugar, coffee sachets, individual milk pots, and sauce packets were free. Picked up from hotel rooms, cafes etc throughout the year. Still have a box in the kitchen (milk in freezer until needed) where it all goes and we take from whenever needed. Adult dc have started to add and take from the box
A cooler bag / back pack, Tupperware and bags that seal are great
Once made a day of walking a trail to see the camels from the circus that had set up in the area. Took a picnic and eventually ended up in a pub for a cold drink before making our way home.. Total cost was under £5

Remember tap water is free

We have money. We have the occasionally really extravagant activity. We can do those comfortably because the vast majority of the time we aren’t spending anything.

yes, we are still getting the splurges mixed in, but you shouldn’t feel guilty about regular days. Smart people have plenty of regular days.

People who want to end up broke without any savings spend and spend.

Aww @Tuxedocatlover ignore the fancy holiday boasts.
Start planning tomorrow, tonight.
Pour some orange juice into little tubs. Freeze.
Plan a blanket picnic. A sandwich, some crisps, a pack of jam tarts(and frozen juice).
Bring out some double duvet covers ready to make a den.
While the dc are asleep, pull furniture into a den making circle.
Have you got a white board or a chalk board? Put a fancy sign up. 'Grand Den Building Operation'
Maybe you have some toy dinosaurs or farm animals, prepare a safari on a tea towel or blanket.
Make it a 'Silly Rule Day'. Everybody wears a Hat, odd shoes and socks and backwards clothes. You too!
At 3pm you all go to Iceland or suchlike for a pack of icecream choc bars. Still dressed silly.
Homemade pizza later.
Then a 'Music Extravaganza' Homemade drums(pots and wooden spoons) and plastic box rice shakers.
Just stick your fingers in your ears and give a smartie for the loudest drum and the most energetic maracca!
But most of all @Tuxedocatlover just roll about on the floor and whoop it up with your dc. xx

DS loved a picnic, some trees and a lake/river to throw stones in. He would entertain himself for hours. Kids need to learn to entertain themselves and it's OK for them to be bored.
As others have said - cheap popcorn, ice lollies at home, picnics and parks! That's what they will remember - being with you.