AIBU to feel guilty about cheap school holiday days out?

[Tuxedocatlover]

I only have £80 to last until Tuesday and obviously it is the holidays and feel so guilty that we can’t go on extravagant trips like most people seem
to be doing. The kids went camping with their dad at the weekend, we spent the day at the park with friends yesterday and obviously ice creams and things add up.

Out of curiosity how much do you have left after bills etc? I am a single mum and earn 3k a month after tax and no idea where all
my money goes. I do have the kids 100% of the time.

Please do not feel guilty, OP. Take a picnic to the park. Do some cooking with them. Go to a free museum. Hope you have a lovely time.

@Tuxedocatlover we have around 4k left after bills and food. But we are a two income household. Please don’t feel guilty. I’m sure your dc are fine and as long as they are safe and loved it’s all that matters.

We were lucky as kids if we had a day out to the seaside during summer. When we got older we spent a week in a caravan in North Wales. We thought it was wonderful. We were expected to save our pocket money for ice creams and treats.

Its plenty if you have food, fuel etc. Plan lots of free local activities for your dc

It’s a gorgeous day today spend it outdoors not worrying!
remember people don’t post about tv days at home online

Absolutely do NOT feel guilty.

My kids would talk most fondly/ animatedly about the cheap/free days we had out when they were little eg country park feeding the ducks and an ice cream if I was in a good mood. Far more than the Legoland / Harry Potter studios.

You sound like a great mum :)
It is all about balance!
Otherwise, they will ALWAYS expect expensive stuff / experiences !

Wow! That’s a huge take home pay! I’m a single Mum, work full time, have my son 98% of the time and take home £1900 a month. All my bills and mortgage etc come out and we still have a bit each month for treats and fun.
Honestly I think you need to take a serious look at your spending if you’re taking home £3000 a month and have no money!

I used to feel guilty and skint myself to go on days out nearly every day of the holidays, now iv got 4 children so it’s not something I can do now.

and I can honestly say that trip to the park they would of absolutely loved. I’m realising now kids don’t need massive days out.

I’ll maybe do a zoo trip in the next holidays when the weathers more stable.

I am a single mum and earn 3k a month after tax and no idea where all
my money goes.
Have a look at your banking apps/statements. Write down each and every spend for the last 2 months. It's amazing what £2 or £3 every few days can amount to.

I’m a bit confused as to how you have the kids 100% of the time but they went camping with their dad?

£80 is a decent amount to be left with if it doesn’t include food.

I rarely do expensive trips out and if I did it would be one or two per holiday.

As others have said, they’ve already been camping and so I wouldn’t expect to pay for any other days out.

I would be doing free things like parks and walks and then buying them a drink or something as a treat.

I hate that we live in a world where people feel guilty about not constantly doing paid for activities with their kids. One of mine is at a football camp today and I took the other to a trampoline park, total £30. Yesterday we went to the seaside, took a picnic and they got an ice cream before we came home. That’s the extent of the ‘fun’ on my week off! They’ve loved playing out with their friends the rest of the time.

We are a bit skint this week - of our own choosing so not unexpected. I have 3 kids and they are helping with landscaping the garden, having friends over and baking. Just generally keeping themselves amused and honestly we've had a brilliant week. No money spent.

Walks to all sorts of places, playing board games, puzzles, arts and crafts etc. Or baking at home.
Dont buy food out. Make picnics. If you want to give them an ice cream, get it from the supermarket in a multipack on the way home!! We live in London. An ice cream van parks outside the school. Lots of kids queue there and it’s about £4 per ice cream. I walk 300 meters down the road to a sainsburys local round the corner. Buy a multipack of Magnums or Cornettos (3 or 4 to a pack, nice ice creams), for less than the price of a single ice cream from the van!!! So we can each have one and even give one to a friend!!
Honestly, don’t worry about it, taking your kids to the park or to feed the ducks or look at spring flowers or whatever is more than fine!

I hate this instagram perfect life that is pushed & the exepectations & pressure it puts on people.

comparison is the thief of all joy.

when your kids get older, they won’t remember the money you spent but the time you spent with them & the fun they had.

saw a lady on tiltok last week, she was sick of the kids arguing & making ham sandwiches so she put suggestions on pieces of paper & got the kids to pick different suggestions such as

lunch at home v lunch out
park v games at home

the kids loved being involved in the choosing & she learnt not to put lunch at home if she really didn’t want ham sandwiches.

you could try something like this & tailor it to your budget/kids ages

comparison is the thief of all joy, showing your kids love & time will always be above showing money on them for performative social media posts

Do what you can. Take no notice of others and you'll find your children don't either. They do not

If you really don't know where the money is going, I would start creating a spreadsheet or download an app to log every spend.
I always think I should have more money left than I do and it's things like Amazon that catch me out as I will see things I think are bargains to stash for Christmas/birthdays, along with not including one off yearly expenses in any monthly budget (home insurance, car insurance, TV licence etc).

I would also say that those people you are comparing to may have been given tickets or have membership to different attractions. We used to always be on the go as we had a zoo pass, pass for a small farm, and National Trust membership. Those 3 things alone meant we could do something every weekend, along with visiting the free museum in town, going to different local parks and visiting the beach (we are lucky enough to live near enough to one).

In terms of buying ice cream, you could buy a box from a supermarket which works out cheaper.

Your good! You don’t need to spend money to let the kids have fun! Check out what free stuff you’ve got local to you. We’ve got a few museums then you’ve got parks make a packed lunch and head out for the day. We are next to the sea so have a beach again free to use take any buckets and spades you’ve got hidden in the shed or a sledge and go down the dunes! Nature walks in the forest/small hill if you’ve got any locally. If you’ve got ingredients in already baked some cakes perfect for snacks (that they are likely having every 5 mins anyway!) if they do any clubs check memberships to see if they can use the facilities for free on public sessions, our swimming lessons mean they can swim for free at any of the local pools during public sessions as does our ice skating. Libraries often have activities on during the holidays and always have activity sheets out to colour work on. Make your own scavenger hunt for the local area. Or just let them chill/make their own fun.

I used to do one trip each week, but to places like the Science museum, not theme parks. So it would be a case of money for the parking, entry, lunch and a small treat in the gift shop. The other days were park trips or having mates round/ going to mates.

And if I needed to slim down the cost I’d take packed lunches as a lot of places have an area aside from the cafe for packed lunch consumption! Or on sunny days you go outside.

Spend time with your children.
Take them to museums, libraries, parks. Camp in the garden, let them buy a toy at the charity shop etc all free or cheap things.
children are not adding up how much money you spend. Don’t compare to others social media posts

Camping is literally epic for kids. My son has been everywhere and had some phenomenal trips - the one he gets excited about is camping an hour down the road.

We haven’t done any pay entry style days out at all so far this school holidays. My kids are very happy. Long walks, park, garden, playdates etc.

We live in a touristy area and the entry prices tend to go up in the school
holidays anyway so if we do them we tend to go out of season when they are cheaper and we get a year pass to the local zoo which my kids love but we haven’t been to this school holiday yet.

I don’t buy ice creams out unless its a very special occaision. If they ask I always have ice cream and cones at home so I say we’ll do it at home and they are just as happy at a fraction of the cost.

Don’t feel bad. The range things that some families on here do in the school holidays is baffling. Nobody did any of that when I was growing up. My mother once too us up to London and that was it. We just got on with it.

Walks in the park and board games or a trip to the library are free and they will love them. It’s time with them and positive time. Take a sheet of tarpaulin and make a den in the woods and then take it home and sip and drink hot chocolate etc honestly mine loved it!