AIBU to feel guilty about cheap school holiday days out?

[Tuxedocatlover]

I only have £80 to last until Tuesday and obviously it is the holidays and feel so guilty that we can’t go on extravagant trips like most people seem
to be doing. The kids went camping with their dad at the weekend, we spent the day at the park with friends yesterday and obviously ice creams and things add up.

Not everyone goes on multiple expensive days out every school holiday.

Ours are back to school on Monday. Only thing we've done that cost much money was a cinema trip. Which would have been under £80, if we didnt have the chippy afterwards. DD11 has also been to the beach and hung out with friends. DS17 does his own things now and is at a sleepover.

When they were younger arranging play dates with friends at each others house or down the park. Add an Ice Cream and they were well happy

Well actually my DC wouldn't ask so it wouldn't be a question of saying " no" !It would be me wanting to ask them if they wanted an ice cream because it would give me pleasure to treat them!

I think @IAxolotlQuestions
has some good advice.

Which is fine... But OP is worried about the money.

So she can just not offer...

And her advice is the same as mine...go out for free things

This. God forbid if children have to amuse themselves some of the time. Colouring in, making models out of flour, and water, ice creams from the supermarket, etc. Of course if the OP has a garden, there is value in that, such as leaf/ bark tracing, drawing what the children can see. A couple of bottles of bubble solution.

Most people arent doing extravagant things, this is just social media for you..it's the same with people posting a ridiculous amount of eggs for one child, massive displays etc. I do not believe that most families are doing extravagant things everyday.

Trips to the park, nature walks, getting out on bikes, inviting friends over to play, all fine and most kids will be happy with this. Take packed lunches and a drinks flask on days out to avoid buying whilst out, the kids can have an ice cream or ice lolly once home!

No need at all for extravagant trips. Mine had a free soccer camp, trip to the cinema for under 20e and a lovely day out in the woods by the sea. After that it's tv, playing fighting- in the back garden and pancakes a day or two for breakfast at home.

The best days are free. Friends, picnics, climbing trees and paddle streams. Expensive days out are a long, hot, queuing disappointment.

I have 3 kids and been with them everyday this holiday, so far my spend is £47. Will be having another cheap day out today, beach, so ice creams likely be about £9. Kids don’t care about spends it’s nice to have chill low pressure days than huge days out all the time!

How old are they? Days out don't have to cost loads and there's plenty of activities that you can do at home such as baking, painting, planting some seeds - perhaps start growing some vegetables to eat in the summer.

Go cycling, go on a walk and have a picnic, find a stream to paddle in, play tennis (hiring a court for an hour doesn't usually cost much), another day at the playground (kids always like playgrounds).

Look out for some free or cheap activities at places like libraries or churches.

This ^^

You don't need to spend loads of money for kids to enjoy themselves.

Ours loved to go for a walk. We would find interesting woodland walks or paths and do nature spotting. The kids would climb trees etc. Then we would have a picnic and they absolutely loved doing that.

At home we played games in the garden or had movie afternoons.

Your kids sound like they have done some nice things already so don't feel guilty you are not taking them on lavish trips.

As long as they seem to be having fun, doing whatever you are doing, they won't care too much.

Please don’t worry. Your children have already had a lovely time and what means more to them is having freedom to play with their friends. We were extremely poor for many years when mine were little and they speak so fondly of the picnics we had at the park at the end of the road with whatever I could find in the cupboard and cheap craft and science activities. Decades later I realise these are the important things. As others have said, experience like going to the library and museum are enriching and have a lasting impact on their education and relationship with you. Save the £80 is my advice.

She can buy them an ice cream though. She's got £80.

I really don't understand the guilt either.

I think most kids prefer the cheap activities, it’s more normal too. Kids get immune to over expensive theme parks/ farms etc and it’s not a lifestyle that can be sustained and leads to expectations. Such days are for treats.

I used to love thinking up of cheap things to do
and they’re the days my adult kids remember the most with the most affection. Kids need to chill and go at a slow pace.

It’s awful that all we see on social media makes us doubt ourselves.

What age are the children ?

Can you make up a picnic and a treasure hunt list and go for a walk ( I do this with our little one but she is only four- things like a feather, a pink flower, an insect etc and she ticks the litter as she finds them. )

We collect stones and shells from the beach and wash in a big bucket one day and she leaves them out to dry then paints them in the garden the next day.

Bucket of water and a thick paint brush on the garden patio stones is fun too and the sun just dried it.

Obviously these would only work forfor smaller children.

Are there any local museums that are free ?

Can you stretch to some popcorn and a bottle of fizzy drink for a film Afternoon - shut the curtains to make it dark and have cushions on the floor if they want.

Check out your local Facebook page for free events nearby.

It is hard to know what to suggest without knowing their ages but they have had a bit of an adventure camping and will remember you spending time with them as much as what you did.

If they are a bit older you could try geocaching. Free app to download and then it gives a purpose to a walk.
Mine loved an afternoon in playing monopoly if the weather was bad.
Den building in the garden - blankets etc draped over climbing frame, deck chairs etc and then hae a picnic in it.
Painting/drawing
Basically, if I joined in, they were happy - Lego, jigsaws, craft, baking etc

The budget is £80 - tops.

OP doesn't need to take them on a self catering trip.

Your first point about DS riding his scooter and other low key activities is spot on though.

Children want mummy, daddy,, play park, ice-cream. They don't need trips. In fact if you listen to children they see trips as a few good moments interspersed with a lot of boring bits.

https://www.nationaltrust.org.uk/visit/50-things

Here’s a list of ‘50 things’ created by National Trust which may give you fun ideas to try.

Are there any country parks you can walk around, trips to the coast, and take a picnic, .

if wet, get a clothes airer or our, some sheets and build a den.

Have a cinema night. Get them to design some tickets, make some popcorn and watch a film, maybe an old Disney classic, High school
musical, parentrap (old or newer versions etc).

@Classiclines it’s not a treat though if you do it all the time, it’s a habit:expectation .

We have deliberately dialled back. It's been a long term for all of us. We are doing the cinema, playing on the garden and a bike ride or two.

Don’t beat yourself up OP, the kids have already done more than enough. We spent years doing bugger all in the holidays due to a lack of money.

Could you say to the kids, let’s find some fun things to do that don’t cost anything, then any money I have left from the £80 at the end of the holidays I will put into the summer holidays spending pot so we can do something nicer then? That way you can add that to whatever you have available for the summer and can break up the longer holidays a bit!

For free/cheap things you can do this holiday:

”The Chore Games” - write all the different household chores onto individual pieces of paper with a point score between 1 and 3 based on how quick it is and/or how hard it is. Fold them all up and put them in a bowl. You tell the kids they get to draw 1 chore at a time, and once they complete that chore, they earn the points on the ticket. Most points at the end of the set time, or once all complete, wins a prize (you set this - I used to do a £5 voucher for their games console, but you could do an ice cream, extra screen time, money to spend on a new book or toy, favourite sweets/chocolate, etc. I was surprised by how much my kids loved playing that - and a bonus it got my house cleaned for the low, low income price of five quid 😂

Visit all the parks in a certain area - we used to go for walks around our town and aim to visit every different park, play there, then go to the next. Lots of exercise, a bit of variety and it’s free!

Go for a walk - possibly play Pokemon Go whilst walking if your kids would enjoy that?

Museum visit - most museums are free

Do you have a lake/canal/river you could walk to and feed any ducks there?

Home cinema afternoon - choose a film to watch (or do it daily and each child picks the film on their day), make the room as dark as possible, set up comfy seating with cushions and blankets plus have snacks and drinks at the ready. Sit back and enjoy the film.

Karaoke - you don’t need a karaoke machine but if you do, great! Pull up Spotify on a device and have the lyrics page on. Use them to sing along to favourite songs. if you don’t have Spotify, look up music lyric videos on YouTube.

Home disco - turn the lights down, the music up and have a good old boogie

Story time - sit and read a story to the kids then talk about it afterwards. If they’re older, get them to spend some time reading and then all talk after about your book, did you enjoy it, etc.

Lego building competition (or Mega blocks, sticklebricks, play doh… anything you you can use to create something)

Board games - old family favourites or something new? Visit a charity shop to see if they have any you can pick up cheaply if you want to try something new

Go for a bike ride

Play in the garden if you have one, or just some time to play indoors with their own toys.

Loads of things you can do that don’t need to cost the earth. If you go out, take a picnic with you or make sure you’re close to home at meal time. What really matters to the kids is spending time with you - give them your attention and they’ll be happy!

if they’re not big walkers, get them
an I-Spy book each and make it fun.

https://www.worldofbooks.com/en-gb/collections/author-books-by-i-spy?gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=20190430526&gbraid=0AAAAADZzAIAG7WFXqs5UhwqardeHt6UK2&gclid=CjwKCAjw-dfOBhAjEiwAq0RwIyVaw_QVWJGtQPHo_wemnATfzug_ni7itAz23E040OxZRzegaL8WNBoC6wgQAvD_BwE

Do not feel guilty! Kids don't need expensive days out to enjoy the holidays.
Don't take social media or friends messages to mean they are always on expensive long days out. You only see the good in those situation. Noone is going to say they have been at the park for 10 days straight.

I plan ahead alot for holidays. We have 1 big day out in the summer (usually a theme park or zoo) and maybe one smaller day out each longer holiday (softplay/local farm etc) if we are lucky. Other than that its free activities. We do alot of the local council activities they out on most school holidays. Do alot of skate parks/ normal parks / local country parks with picnics. Look at local facebook notice boards to see what is going on.

If you looked at my social media, it would seem if I'm not working and on a day off with the kids, we are always out. But what my friends don't see is I budget hard all year to afford the few days out we do have. I spread them out and add days at home or local parks between them. For every 1 paid day out we probably have 10 'free' days out.

I have a lovely single mum friend who has filled her sons life with fun days and trips since he was 3 - now at 13 it’s an expectation

@Tuxedocatlover YABU.

Most people do not do expensive days out. Only the braggy ones on Facebook.

We did a 2 hour walk yesterday. Free.

Crafts from The Works about £3. We made/decorated craft easter eggs then did an egg hunt.

Watched a film together on Netflix with popcorn (home made) so about 50p.

Games in the garden.

Friends round for play dates (50p biscuits)