AIBU to feel guilty about cheap school holiday days out?

[Tuxedocatlover]

I only have £80 to last until Tuesday and obviously it is the holidays and feel so guilty that we can’t go on extravagant trips like most people seem
to be doing. The kids went camping with their dad at the weekend, we spent the day at the park with friends yesterday and obviously ice creams and things add up.

I've got £60 till Wednesday and will definitely have to do a small shop. We are going to the cinema as it's £5.99 at the Vue with meerkat. I've bought popcorn from Co-op. Otherwise it's childcare or park/crafts.

I am poor, my daughter understands and also just likes to chill out. She wanted a watermelon yesterday but I could only afford grapes so that's what she had, with her understanding I couldn't afford more.

Free/low cost (depending on what you already have in the house and budget) things my children enjoyed doing during the holidays when they were little included

Junk modelling - collect recycling stuff and give them some glue.

Baking.

Going out to collect stones and painting them. We used to take them back and hide them in the park- not sure if that's still a thing!

Painting cheap terracotta plan pots to make fairy houses or whatever (tubes of inexpsnive acrylic paint can be bought from the works. I used tester pots of emulsion because it was cheaper).

Tearing up strips of fabric (eg old clothes or bedlinen) and tying to string/garden twine to make rag bunting to decorate the garden/bedroom.

Campfires in the back garden - especially for toasting marshmallows and sausages for hot dogs.

Using a small cardboard box and collecting things from the garden to make a bug house.

My daughter and I once bought a cheap mirror and decoupaged the frame (we used pva glue not specialist stuff and I still have the mirror hanging in the house). You can use specialist decoupage paper, old comics, tissue paper, wrapping paper - any thin paper really.

Making dens in the house and garden.

Camping out in the living room overnight watching films.

YouTube karaoke - they're adults and we still do this now.

Picnic in the hoise/garden - put a rug on the floor and eat lunch.

The National Trust free days.

Who can make the best paper aeroplane competitions.

Making things out of salt dough or painting and creating a gallery.

Leaf printing/nature rubbings.

Who can crawl from one end of the living room to the other fastest in a sleeping bag competitions.

I taught them how to go downstairs in a sleeping bag 🤷🏻‍♀️

Creating indoor/garden obstacle courses.

YouTube drawing and origami tutorials.

Gardening, planting stuff.

And even if you have to buy stuff, you can use them all more than once.

I was a single parent on a low income at the time and, tbh, I'd still choose to do all of those things in favour of an expensive day out somewhere! I'd forgo expensive ice creams for any of them, tbh.

Ah, its been lovely remembering! Bring on the grandchildren 😉

ETA: my point is that there are plenty of free things you can do for the rest of this week and plenty of low cost things you can begin to prepare for for the summer holidays.

It doesn't need to he expensive.

If you get universal credit OP look into the places that do £1/cheap tickets- London zoo, Kew Gardens do these and some other places too. Maybe more for the next half term as travel etc still adds up
we haven't done any big days out this half term- just trips to the park, bike rides, and the cinema once. It's fine kids don't need big expensive days out multiple times every half term, they just want to relax and play

Money is not an issue in this household (not a brag) and my dc have had 1 night away in a hotel. They have had sleepovers at friends houses, sleepovers with friends here. Walks in parks, visits to the skatepark, a birthday party, chilled at home, friends who live away have come to spend the day with us and a visit to the dentists. Nothing crazy here at all! I don’t feel the slightest bit guilty.

How old are your kids? Mine are older and one of their favourites days was playing dodgeball and frisbee with me in the park then having (supermarket) pizza in the park that I’d brought with us.
You dint have to spend money.

I agree a million percent.

OP, I know it must be hard but your post has depressed me. I'm not criticising you - I just feel it's so sad that parents equate money spent with the quality of an experience for children. I always found that what my children most valued was my and/or my husband's full, involved attention in what we were doing.

We never spent much money - I think the annual zoo visit was the most pricey. We never visited a single theme park (yes, really!) and didn't do Disney or Legoland etc etc. We couldn't afford it and I did feel bad at the time, but my adult children have since told me they really didn't mind - they're both sensitive, creative, imaginative people and when rarely exposed to the full-on experience of crowds, noise and consumerism, didn't actually like it very much!

If you do a country walk, take the old I Spy book approach and write a list of things for them to spot on the way - make it a competition if they enjoy that sort of thing. Or get them to take photos or collect treasure (sorry - don't know how old they are). Give them a list of things to collect (feathers, leaves of different shapes, acorns etc etc).

Whatever you do, your input is what will often make or break the visit for your children, but I know that in these consumerist times parents worry about their children missing out when they get together with others whose parents have just thrown money at the holidays!

This! Easy as pie. Mine are both plague monsters at the moment (snot central!) and my car ran out of MOT a couple of days ago (I didn’t notice as have some heath stuff going on, distracting me!) so we literally can’t go anywhere (we can’t walk to anywhere from where we live, other than fields!) so they’re turned loose in the garden. There’s been kite flying, water fights, water table, sand pit, digging in the garden (under the guise of ‘helping’ me!), playing on the climbing frame, picnics on the lawn, chalking on the patio, water ‘painting’ the garden wall etc. There’s also been quite a bit of tv, (and films..) kitchen dance parties, puzzles, drawing, baking, painting, den building etc etc etc. There’s literally so much you can do just at home, and honestly I don’t think it hurts kids to be ‘bored’ sometimes!

Like others have said, I think the idea that children need constant days out over the holidays is a modern misconception promulgated in part by social media.

Some ideas that are cheap/free (depending on the age of your kids, where you live etc).

Craft projects. Even if you aren't especially crafty, it can be fun to try new ones. Loads of ideas on line.

Board games. If you don't have them, they can be picked up in charity shops - I got Scrabble for £3 after we played it a few times on a camping holiday, and we have used it loads. Your kids might be reluctant at first, but if you insist they will probably enjoy it.

Baking and cake decoration - places like Poundland have the basics.

Playdates. Costs very little to feed an additional small mouth, if you are already feeding your own kids - things like pasta stretch easily and are enjoyed by most kids. And most families will reciprocate the invitation.

Bus day out - buy everyone a day pass - it's something like £1.40 here for kids, and just see what local towns you can get to that you may not have seen before.

Charity shop safari - give everyone £2 each, or whatever you can afford - kids toys and books are usually incredibly cheap.

Bus into your nearest city centre and just look round - you can take drinks and snacks and time it so you don't need a meal while you are there. The kids will enjoy window shopping and there are usually free museums and galleries you can go to.

Visiting relatives - it gives a purpose to getting out of the house, a change of scene, and promoted extended family bonding which is always good. (My daughter and I usually go and stay with my brother at least once a year - he lives in Windsor which is itself a tourist destination so it's like a "free" mini-break - really handy when money is tight, plus he likes to see us and we like to see him, so it's a win win win!)

Loads of other great ideas on this thread (and apologies, I am sure I have repeated some).

The main thing I hope you take from this, is that nobody thinks you are a bad parent for not providing wall to wall expensive activities for your kids.

The main thing I hope you take from this, is that nobody thinks you are a bad parent for not providing wall to wall expensive activities for your kids.

👏

I was away with work most of last week then our car was out of action over the weekend so being frank, my DC have spent half the holidays doing pretty much nothing. Playing in the garden lots, at Grandma’s house, bit of Easter baking, watching films, we got the train to see the new Mario film which was good. One DC has a Beavers party today.

You shouldn’t feel pressurised into constantly entertaining them. Most parents work so the children spend the holidays in clubs, with childminders or relatives.

Children need to be allowed to be bored. Being bored helps expand their imagination.

Enjoyment is not proportional to cost.

Some of my best days out as a kid in South London were when my Mum gave me a Kit-Kat for a snack and my bus fare to the Imperial War Museum. That and my pocket money to spend in the gift shop was bloody wonderful.

Other times she came with me to the Horniman's Museum. That was because their cafe did the best chocolate cake in South London.

Neither cost a fortune.

When was all this pressure put on parents to have to "entertain" their kids. When i was growing up we had to amuse ourselves.
Everyone seems to be doing stuff these day.
We have to allow our kids to be bored it encourages creativity.
I'm saying that as someone with a 7yr old who demands constant attention 😂

Extravagant days out should be occassional/ special treat otherwise they just get taken for granted and not appreciated.

This holiday I've taken my kids to the cinema once and a lambing day (local working farm so just asking for donations) but everything else has been free or low cost.

National Trust visit (we are annual members so it's "free"). Easter themed Messy Church (free or donations). Visited grandparents for the day. Couple of walks in the woods/by the river. I'm wfh today but will go for a bike ride at lunchtime with youngest as its a nice day. Have just noticed there is a "help paint a community mural" event (free) running over a few days so we will do that probably on Sunday.

Look on your local FB pages, there are so many free and low cost events for kids and adults too.

It's a not very subtle way to get people to spend more money. See also so-called milestone birthdays, baby showers, hen/stag weekends, etc.

Totally agree.

I remember (child of the 70s) being bored a lot. Being dragged by my mum to visit elderly relatives and having to sit in my best clothes for what seemed like hours while they talked. Also, staring out of the school hall windows during long assemblies.

These are not bad things. During these times my imagination was freed to make up stories, listen and relish eavesdropping on adult conversations, plan things in my head, fantasise about the future etc etc.

It's a horrible new idea that children should never be bored and I think it kills a lot of imaginative and reflective 'work', so important for mental health.

My sister and I used to make up games using practically nothing and they were great. (Could elaborate, but I'm sure pps don't need to know the intricacies!)

At least you are spending time with your DC. I can never take leave at Easter but it’s the busiest time at work so they needed to go to childminder or grandparents so I felt guilty about that. They’re teens now and have have happy memories of the cheap stuff we did when they were small.

Pps who say that it's the influence of social media which has promoted this idea of competitive child-entertaining are spot on.

God, I'm so glad my kids didn't have this pressure when they were little - we'd have come off very badly.

Social media: another way it's changed society and not for the better.

We always used to do free stuff when ours were little - both teachers & so I suppose lucky to both be off. We had couple of passes like National Trust & I had zoo pass.

Typical activities would be
library
museum
beach walk
cycle ride
board games
baking
stone painting
city farm
harbour walk
film night
paddling pool & slip slide in garden
2p slots - not free but around £2

We would spend some money obviously on occasional cinema, ice cream, cone of chips, sweets. But you can always find cinema deals.

Don’t feel bad - they can’t expect a full on entertainment programme all school hols. People complain about the cost of holiday clubs but they are probably good value compared to a day out.

YABU!!!

we’re doing cheap trips as have family visiting, booked the science museum which was the most expensive at £11. Booked steam train ride for £10. Beamish was free as have year tickers.
They don’t need to be going to expensive theme parks etc.

It would cost about £100+ to travel to the science museum for us as a family. Do you have a free teleportation device?

I suspect she means the one in Newcastle. The Life Science Centre.

Don’t feel guilty, we rarely did big trips out when DD was little, that way they were more of a treat for her. She loved trips to the park with a picnic (echo the advice to buy a box of ice lollies rather than go to the ice cream man).
Search for printable I-spy sheets and go out walking and spotting
Paint/search for painted rocks-we have quite an active community locally
Download the Merlin app and see what birds it can detect locally
Geocaching
Baking, if you have/can pick up some cheap ingredients

I know people who never did anything with their children, maybe soft play because they could have a coffee and ignore them. No museums/parks/daytrips.

i used to do a sheet for the week we were off school. We would do one ‘big thing’ rest of the week we would do museum/park, library activity, cheap cinema morning visit, countryside walk with a friend etc. If the weather was bad we would often stay in and id leave craft stuff out, put on a movie, bake, have a friend round.
children should be able to amuse themselves a good chunk of the time.

Some of our best days out involve no or little money. Walks, bike rides, playgrounds, parks, picnics, library, swimming pools. Buy a pack of ice creams or lollies for the freezer.