AIBU to feel uneasy about male staff in nurseries?

[Beautifulsiro56]

Males working in my cbildrends nursery- makes me feel so uncomfortable
Why would a male want to work in a nursery? Most nursery abuse cases are men.
Men shouldn't be allowed to work in nurseries? AIBU

So 97% of nursery workers are female and there was one case of a woman committing sexual abuse two decades ago...
3% of nursery workers are male and there have been 4 or 5 convicted in the last couple of years.

We have had a male aupair and male babysitters, yes.
But ok we are a British/Scandinavian household and I think it's more common with men in childcare in Scandinavian.

I have a son.
I would never have sent my DC to a nursery with male workers. School is different because they were talking by then.
I do not care about the hurt feelings of men, or mums of sons, or giving my children positive male models ( They have a dad).

I think a major issue people have is that nursery workers care for nonverbal children. Older children are less vulnerable, or able to communicate unease about adults around them.

@HangryBrickShark "in reality males are no more risky than females."

They really are. 99% of all pedophiles, rapists and people convicted of other sex crimes are men. They also account for 93% of murder convictions and at least 80% of all violent crimes overall.

We already can't staff nurseries properly without banning males. It's just not particularly popular, and even if we threw money at the sector it'd still be long hours and inflexible. Unrelated men are certainly a greater risk to a child than unrelated women, no getting round that one, but I don't see how this would be workable. Google says it's about 3% of the workforce, but when the majority of settings have vacancies they can't fill that's only exacerbating the problem.

You said the safeguarding policies in a well run nursery mean a male worker is more verified than a family member

Did I? Where? Maybe you have misinterpreted?

Present statistics yes but the line you are drawing is not logical it's your own (wrong) opinion!

Would you do the same for a male primary school teacher?

How about a male relative as frankly that's the highest stat of sexual abuse if your trying to use numbers to make absurb statements about parents!

Thats a strawman argument, primary school teachers do not wipe children’s genitalia

But paedophiles are in a minority - a very very small one. Just because most paedophiles are male still p[represents a very tiny minority of males in general.

We need to keep things in proportion.

Should we say that because a very small minority of say black people commit crimes, then we should be wary of all black people? - that is a horrifying thought that would shock us all. But we are happy to do that to half the population.

The vast majority of men are just fine - they, like us, have their foibles, but they cannot all be tarred with the predatory brush.

Ah, I see you replied to a question I asked a different poster so I assumed you were them.

I have a son. He's a tall well-built man who likes to wear black hoodies. I have seen women cross the street when it's dark to move away from him and move closer to other women.

My heart does not bleed for him because statistically, he is more likely to commit sexual assault. I know he won't but how is a random woman expected to know?
I do not care if women are wary of him, and only the most narcissistic mums would expect a stranger to not be wary of their sons.

Not very, very small.

A study found 1 in 6 Australian men had sexual feeling towards children, and those who had sexual feeling towards children were more likely to work with children than those who didn't.
https://theconversation.com/a-survey-found-1-in-6-men-admit-sexual-feelings-for-children-so-is-paedophilia-increasing-218124

If you're fine with an unnecessary higher risk of sexual abuse, that's your choice. But it does, quite literally, mean that one is in favour of policies that result in higher levels of sexual abuse of children, as that's the outcome of having male workers in nurseries. It's not my problem if you don't like that.

Personally, I didn't send my children to nursery, they just so happened to have female teachers at school (but were verbal by then anyway), and were never alone with male relatives when small except my husband, their father.

They do if the child has Sen

My children have never been left alone with any male relative but their own father. They did sports with male coaches but when they were 8 or 9. Fully verbal.

You've put words into my mouth there. Like all parents, it's entirely up to you what choices and priorities you make for your own child.

Personally-speaking, we didn't use nurseries or childminders at all for our child; we both went part-time so that we could be with him and care for him ourselves. Naturally, that meant that he was in no danger of any kind of abuse at a nursery; but it also meant that we could direct his learning and experiences ourselves.

A PP said that she would be happy for a bored teenage girl to look after her child - that's fine if it works for her, but this would not have been acceptable for us in preference to an enthusiastic parent being with him all the time in his formative years. That worked great for us; as other parents' choices work great for them.

"But it does, quite literally, mean that one is in favour of policies that result in higher levels of sexual abuse of children, as that's the outcome of having male workers in nurseries. It's not my problem if you don't like that"

As previously posted equality legislation In the UK means that you cannot ban men from working in nurseries, whether you like it or not. It's up to nurseries to put appropriate and effective safeguarding measures in place.

I take your point but just giving it as an example.
there will be men and women committing awful acts that if they aren’t caught sadly go undetected.
it is a worry but if I liked a nursery setting I don’t think it would put me off.
there’s a nursery at our primary school they take from 3 years old and they have male teachers.

Its just so sad we even have to think about things like this isn’t it?

Indeed. All this garbage about " well what do mothers of sons feel?".
I feel my son has the good sense to know why some mums might not hire him as a manny. I would be disappointed if he didn't. He's a stats student.

There's no financial incentive for anyone to choose it as a job. Including women.

No, I haven't. You think it's proportionate to ban all men from mammography work because of women's dignity. You don't think it's proportionate to ban men from being nursery workers because the statistics show that they commit the vast and overwhelming majority of sexual abuse despite being 3% of the workforce.

Although fair enough that you didn't send your child to nursery!

Male role models in primary both inside and outside of school is plenty early enough. It would be very unusual for a child to have experience zero caregiving from a male until they reached primary school in any event. Most of your post is a massive stretch and a load of non-sequiturs.

Like I said, happy for you to sacrifice your kids’ safety on the altar of your misplaced beliefs but I wouldn’t risk the safety of mine.

As I said above, I find it endlessly interesting that men can be banned from scanning adult women's breasts, but not from performing intimate care for nonverbal children.

Why were you ok for them to be alone with their father? That is a higher risk than them being alone with a nursery worker?

Until we start accepting where most CSA happens it is almost impossible to reduce it.