I reeeeeeally don't want to go to India

[Harshreality]

Husband and DC (12) want to go. I do not. Holidays for me are not a break, it's just my same stressful life somewhere else. I can envisage India being stress on steroids. The constant worrying about safety, getting ill, the noise, the hygiene, the hustle bustle, potential harassment...etc. Nothing about it appeals remotely but I'll almost certainly be forced to go with nagging. Our breaks are always nonstop activities because dh is so driven but I have been saying no to India for almost 25 years .Is it unreasonable to not want to go?

It sounds like the real issue is that your DH is a very difficult person.

I've been to a lot of Asia and completely agree with you about India. Totally different set of challenges (as well as some of the usual ones).

If your DC is a daughter there's no way I would let her go with your DH alone. The risk of rape and sexual harassment is just too high and it doesn't sound like your DH fully understands that from his pressuring you to go on a holiday there.

Although I really wouldn't want to go either.

Slightly confused. Why do you have to
go? There is no law saying you have to go because they are going. Let them go and have yourself a spa break in the uk or something. No brainer really

India is a whole continent.

I can’t wait to go to India. I work with lots of Indian nationals and would love to go there.
However, not in summer, nor on a budget.

I fully understand why the OP does not want to go, and shouldn’t go. I wouldn’t holiday in North Africa for love nor money.

Four weeks in India and the only time I hit good poisoning was in the one five star hotel we stayed in. Beware the hotel buffet!

Our trip was great. India is an amazing assault on the senses, so colourful, vibrant, noisy. We weren’t harassed, didn’t feel unsafe, were fine eating everywhere else, found everyone we met welcoming and interested in us - we weren’t consistently in touristy areas - and won’t hesitate to go back. I felt more unsafe in New York last year.

They can do this trip together, and you can do a separate trip that you want to do another time. I find it odd that he won’t consider going without you if you don’t want to go. We do separate hols with the kids frequently. DH and kids like activities… skiing etc that just aren’t for me. We do other things as a family.

I experienced constant harassment whenever I left the hotel.
I hired a driver to take me to my work appointments who, without asking, took me to shops to pressure me into buying things. He wouldn’t take me back to my hotel until I bought things from his family.
When waiting for another driver, a man claiming to be a taxi driver tried to force me into his car saying he’d take me back to my hotel.

There were lots of other little incidents that made me feel
unsafe.

I travel extensively for work and India, Bangladesh and parts of Indonesia felt unsafe to me and I didn’t feel comfortable walking around on my own.

I was not talking to you, but your perception is interesting.

YANBU because 'family' holidays are meant to have something to suit everyone. If India is your idea of hell and you don't want to go, then you shouldn't go. Previous posters are telling you to stay in a luxury hotel but staying in a hotel is fine for a day and night of pamperig but it absolutely isn't the point of a holiday.

Send your DH and daughter on holiday alone. It doesn't matter how many posters tell you its safe its interestng etc. If it doesn't appeal to you, then it doesn't appeal.

Different strokes for different folks.

Maybe it's to do with drivers then. Hassle to buy crap is normal in lots on places. I didn't use drivers though I took buses and trains

You’re posting on a public forum. Anyone can respond.

Ask them to consider Sri Lanka. It's like india but tranquil and clean if you avoid the cities (which these's not a lot of reason to visit except for Kandy) and head for the hills, tea plantations, spice gardens, historical sites, beaches, and incredible national parks for safaris.

Where in India? India is a huge country. It's not all noisy, loud and unhygienic 🙄 Not sure why you'd think you'll be harassed either. YANBU to not want to go somewhere but YABabitU to have prejudged the whole place.

@Harshrealityyou are still not answering pertinent questions, why would he not go without you?

China is also huge. Are you comparing one portion of China you've visited with one portion of India you've seen on TV? Think about what you want and India may have it but it's okay to say no!

Why are holidays for you not a break?

This isn’t about India, is it?

We went to Goa, is was great, we hired a private driver to travel around, when we wanted to visit elsewhere. The people were super friendly, and none of us got ill.

Too misogynistic for me.

I have visited many times but I will not be going back again after the way women were treated at Delhi airport.

As long as you're happy with families of 3 generations living on the street outside. I've been to India although it wasn't a holiday and I wasn't in a 4 star hotel. I couldn't wait to get away.

India is HUGE.
Statements such as "I don't want to go to India" are kind of meaningless.
Do you not realise it houses one sixth of the world's population? And has a greater variety of religions, cultures, landscapes and cuisines than any other country.
It is not possible to NOT find something for everyone to enjoy!

Personally "luxury hotel" is a bit of a cop out. If you want to retreat from bustle and stress in India find an Ashram. You can sit/lie there just about endlessly and have a mental detox for free. And you'll be looked after too. Or you could seek out a meditation event, or treat yourself to any number of therapies which in the West go for a premium because they are "speshul" and alternative.
For someone who wants to mitigate stress and worry, India invented the book!

Hassle to buy crap in a market is one thing but being driven to somewhere against my will is totally different.

The issue is men actually, not drivers. I was harassed by men.
Driven somewhere against my will by a man.
A man tried to forcibly get me into his taxi.

You can try and undermine my experience to push the idea that India is perfectly safe for women but even the UK government’s official travel advice says that rape, sexual assault and harassment are common.

I don't think it matters why the OP would go other places, why its "not as stressful" "fine in hotels" or anything else. She does not want to go. Why should an adult be nagged into doing anything or enjoy something because some other random stranger did?

This. Have a lovely quiet break from them 😊

Again it all seems to involve drivers. I'm not stating these things don't happen but obviously less likely to happen if you are not alone with a male.

Tbh I found harassment by men far worse in Egypt