AIBU to think my adult life is average rather than privileged?

[Finchell]

Prepared to be told otherwise and of course I know I have had some degree of privilege. As a child I had a good education and opportunities and I accept that is probably classed as ‘privileged.’ But I don’t think that overall my adult life is, I think it’s pretty standard.

Had 50k towards house deposit (everyone I know had had financial support to buy a house)

Gifted 2k to 3k a year (again over birthday and Christmas etc this would seem usual to my friends)

DD has (small) house on trust from grandparents. I only know one other family who haven’t been in a position to make some provision for their grandchildren, not necessarily a house but cash etc

Earnings 71k, again this is of course not a low amount but in terms of household income it’s not a lot these days.

It always baffles me how anyone can be highly educated and so clueless at the same time.

Volunteering at a homeless shelter normally does the trick.

The most rage baiting thread I've seen in a long time

OP, put the telly on instead of being a WUM on a Saturday night

Not only quite a privileged life, but a pretty damn sheltered one at that if you are genuinely baffled about how you are privileged compared to most...

I think ‘average’ might be doing a lot of heavy lifting there.
Many people don’t have family money to fall back on and are just trying to keep up with day to day costs.

I'm afraid the alternative is private renting, at rates that aren't covered by housing benefit.

I agree. How can an adult be so insulated from the realities of life for so many poor families that they can come out with this tone-deaf clueless crap?

@vodkaredbullgirl is that where education stops?

its one thing to be privileged (which you are). There’s nothing wrong with being privileged.

but its a completely and embarrassingly another level to be so ignorant that you think you’re not privileged.

You should be ashamed of your lack of appreciation of how fortunate you are compared to thousands of people living in the same country as you.

and if you’re old enough to have a daughter who has been gifted accommodation, then I’m astounded you’ve managed to achieve such a well paid career - your naïveté demonstrates a woeful inability to relate to the majority of society.

If you’re posting for perspective and people are telling you that your fortunate and privileged and you’re arguing that it isn’t then you don’t have any!

I'm a little bit concerned about the 1% who think the OP is NOT unreasonable . . . .

Maybe spend a little less time comparing yourself with others?

If you lined up everybody in a row according to their worldly comforts I reckon you'd be somewhere in the middle.

Do you have enough to be happy in life? That's all that matters...

So for instance in 2000, I could have bought a 2 bed terrace house for £37.5k, it went up 65% in 2001 to £62k and then again in 2004 by 61% to £100k , in 2026 its worth £220k. Has anyone's wages risen at the same rate ?

Given all the free stuff and advantages you've been handed in your life it's surprising your salary is only 71k tbh. I'd hope if I bankrolled my child's life throughout childhood and into adulthood they'd be more successful. HTH

Pupil premium eligibility means a family has earned income of less than £7400 ... and roughly 20-25% of children in our school qualify. We are not unusual. In some schools, it's 50%.

I really don't think you have a clue beyond your bubble of like-people....

You move in privileged circles

Marie Antoinette must have voted.

I’ve tried hard not to reply to this as I really think this is trolling at its finest.
but just in case it’s not, I’m very very old. I grew up privileged if you like. Private schools, mostly what I wanted was bought for me. My parents had very nice cars, expensive holidays,I lived in a very big house.I had an extremely extremely unhappy childhood in the fact my father was violent, manipulative , a womaniser and a bully…..and my mother was extremely ill passing away when I was a teenager.

my dad effectively put me on the streets on her passing. I met my husband who saved me. We’ve not had one handout. Not one trust fund. My dad has given us not one penny whilst he continues to be a billionaire at aged 80 ( no lies or jokes). I’ve actually now been no contact with him for over 30 years.

I’ve cleaned toilets, done ironing, worked in school kitchens , until I could afford to better my employment. My husband has worked 2 jobs to support us. I’ve left every single job I’ve had, to try and better our money situation in some way.

my kids have attended local state schools. We’ve struggled for every penny. We’ve owned our home all our married life but sometimes we didn’t know how we’re going to put food on the table.my in laws were wonderful people but with little money themselves.

we’re now very old with adult children and grandchildren. You can’t imagine how hard we’ve worked to get here. And my grandchildren still don’t have a house or trust fund waiting for them, despite working our fingers to the bone.

I don’t know how old you are, but you have a lot to learn about life. I’ve had the most wonderful life with my husband, my kids and my grandkids. Life isn’t about money. Lucky for you, you’ve had so much help. Be thankful and grateful if this is really real

Having being gifted not a single penny in my life, ever, then yes, I do think you have been very fortunate. Although it clearly hasn’t made you grateful or empathetic in anyway. So, maybe not so fortunate, after all?

Look I’m not going to pile on - I’ve had these type of conversations with people before. It’s best to try and educate people on society issues.

I work with a lot of people who come from very different backgrounds - I.e. parents are rich, have good paying jobs, helped them significantly with educational fees, pay for weddings, pay for housing whereas they work with someone in the same job, same money who came from poverty, single parents on benefits etc, worked through uni, bought my own house on my own wage etc.

They are not malicious people but often what they lack in is self-awareness on social issues.

What I try and do is steer them to read on societal issues from different viewpoints rather than rely on anecdotal evidence on friends and family on these issues, as often this skew their inputs.

Humans will always subconsciously align themselves with people from same background, morals and values as it provides a psychological blanket. This is why critical thinking is so important because you get to learn and understand privilege more.

Your intelligence and I'm being generous!

Don't be daft, OP.
I couldn't give my kids £50k unless I won the lottery. My parents didn't give me any money either, before or after they died. To me, I'm average. Probably the least well off out of my friends, but none of them had huge handouts from their families. I know people who are better off than me, and people who are a lot poorer.

I am average. I rent, I have no savings, I will inherit and pass on nothing, I live paycheck to paycheck and I expect to never be able to afford my own home.
But I was able to afford to get a degree, I can go on an (inexpensive) holiday every year, I own a car, I can get my children clothes and birthday presents, I am not worried about providing my family with food, heating, electricity, and a roof over our head.
You sound hopelessly ignorant.

@Finchell To answer your OP, yes, to receive all those things is privileged but if that is common in your social circle then it won’t seem out of the ordinary to you. For the general population, it is very privileged.

I am always curious to know what careers/investments and backgrounds people have to be able to do so much for their adult children… what about their own retirements!? Would you mind giving an idea as to how your parents are in this position OP?

Is my world, your situation is pretty average yes.