AIBU to think my adult life is average rather than privileged?

[Finchell]

Prepared to be told otherwise and of course I know I have had some degree of privilege. As a child I had a good education and opportunities and I accept that is probably classed as ‘privileged.’ But I don’t think that overall my adult life is, I think it’s pretty standard.

Had 50k towards house deposit (everyone I know had had financial support to buy a house)

Gifted 2k to 3k a year (again over birthday and Christmas etc this would seem usual to my friends)

DD has (small) house on trust from grandparents. I only know one other family who haven’t been in a position to make some provision for their grandchildren, not necessarily a house but cash etc

Earnings 71k, again this is of course not a low amount but in terms of household income it’s not a lot these days.

Yes you are privileged. The fact that you don't recognise it means it was from birth. No hate on this, as it is just the way the world works and that's OK. Pretty sure your family would've worked their way up from something at some point in the family line to afford you this privilege so don't see why you should feel guilty for it. But yes yiu should recognise that you are in fact privileged .

You are in a very fortunate position OP.
Lucky you, enjoy and appreciate

A lot of my friends have had similar from their parents. We’d all be middle class, dad had a good job, most mums were a housewife.

My sister has had all of the above. I haven’t, as I never asked for it. I also don’t have a professional career or own a home or car.

Sounds like a case of not knowing that you live in a bubble. I live in a bubble. Gifted £200k towards house purchase. Own a house over £1m with small mortgage. Household income around £300k. Holiday long haul at least once a year and other places 3-4 times (like Hawaii, Disneyland etc). Totally average for our circle of friends and where we live. However, we went to Oxford and both have advanced degrees, I now understand I grew up very privileged (but at the time felt like that was just life). To me, OP doesn’t feel particularly well off because I feel very average and our income and assets are much higher. But I know I live in a bubble 🤷‍♀️.

https://moneyweek.com/personal-finance/average-net-worth-by-age-uk

Where in the UK are you, OP?

And were you privately educated?

Trying to understand where you are coming from

When I went off to university my mum gave me £50. She also paid for my first driving lesson. Everything else in my life, my education, my car, my house, I've paid for myself.
Have a look at some of the statistics on poverty in the UK and you might just realise why some people are being hostile.
https://www.jrf.org.uk/uk-poverty-statistics

This
It's really not average to get 50 grand to put towards a house and then gifted several thousand a year!
You move in rich circles.
You can't be that blinkered to think that that's average, surely?!

One of the great advantages of not being privileged in the way the OP describes is that when you look back on your life all that you achieved you did with the sweat of your own brow.

I'm in my sixties and I wouldn't swap that feeling of pride for anything.

Waiting lists are years long. Suitable houses are few and often in very poor condition. This is common knowledge and frequently reported on.

We saved for a deposit by living at home. I considered that a privilege as not everyone can go home.

My parents spend about £100 in me at birthday and Christmas. That feels a lot too me. We're middle class (though went through some tough periods which probably shaped my feelings on money)

I had a friend from school who sounds a lot like you. Her parents bought her first house - “But it was only a cottage”, they renovated it free of charge to an extremely high standard : “My Dad wanted to because he loves doing projects like that!”
Her husband is very high earning so she never had to work.
Her kids went to private school - “I’ve no idea how much it costs. I’ve never asked,” she said, etc etc.
I adored her when we were kids but she is so completely out of touch with reality now I rarely meet up with her and when I do I find her company painful.
She has no dea how privileged she is and just assumes everyone is lucky like her.
She once said to me - in all seriousness, “Nobody ever goes to bed hungry in England in this day and age,” and was shocked that I did not agree with her.

Aldi is a great place for grocery shopping and my Asda's best time for yellow stickered reductions is Thursday at about 5pm. it may be dfferent where you are. Yes, I am being sarky but that post, ffs! you are privileged and maybe not the most perceptive if you can't see it.

@Finchellyes you are privileged, you are very fortunate and your experiences are not reflective of a vast proportion of the population.

I received no financial support at all beyond childhood, and just had to save for wedding, house, cars etc I will also never inherit anything. My mum died when I was 21 and any assets she had went to dad, dad died when I was 28 but had remarried by then and any assets he had went to his new wife, both sets of grandparents have also passed.

this can't be real.

I'm had a similar enough position if slightly more privileged, if you can't acknowledge that you're really privileged to have that kind of support then it's either because you're dense or you have a bit of a chip on your shoulder about not being self made so want to deny that you've had a massive leg up

if you have parents who can gift you 3k a year and help you out to buy a house then it means that even if you are broke and can't cover a mortgage or rent payment that your biggest problem is the embarrassment of asking your parents for a dig out as an adult, if you didn't have that your biggest problem would be being made homeless or wondering how to feed your kids.

Because you grew up around priviledged people, you see your circumstances as average. I grew up in council housing, and so I do not. The difference is, I don't think growing up as I did is 'average' either, whereas you seem to think your experience was. Perhaps that's because I've known people from lots of different walks of life, whereas you've stayed within a specific group and demographic?

Trust me this is not ‘normal’ you are privileged.
I don’t see the point of your post tbh. Very odd.

How do people who are so clueless get jobs that pay £71k. Asking for myself.

The point of the thread...?
There will always be people with more than you and also people with less. Even branson has people more well off than him. As long as you are alright (happy/grateful) what does it matter if people view your situation as average or privileged?

God, I do think you need to give your head a good wobble. I, and most of my pals, were lucky to get a couple of grand towards a first home purchase. No house/large amounts of money in trust. For example, my parents paid each of our conveyancing costs (around £1500 from memory) for my siblings and I. I borrowed about £3k from my folks to top up savings for a new car last year; I paid them back £1k of that, and they very kindly and generously gifted me the remaining amount, as they'd paid for quite a few things for my siblings' kids, and I don't have any. I feel incredibly fortunate to have gotten this. Other than a couple of friends who came from wealthier backgrounds, I think that this is pretty normal.
You are very fortunate - and bit entitled, in your OP.

Of course you are privileged- some people are going to food banks!

Those are your friends

i work in the city in a career known for its high salary- I came from very little and now hang out with many middle class people

for context though - even out of my colleagues and people who would be classed middle class (ie nice houses, cars in londdon) most people are not gifted £50k to buy a house

How can you not realise that you are privileged - you only need to watch the news

No hate from me OP, this is the world you were born into.

But is quite scary that you know so little about how bad things are for the majority of the country, almost half the country live paycheck to paycheck, many people, including children go to sleep cold and hungry.

1 in 3 children live in poverty.

Count your blessing and don't allow comparison to be the thief of joy.

Your getting a hard time because its astonishing that you know so little about this when it is everywhere and it comes across as goady or rage bating.

I’m not sure if this is real, but just in case I’ll answer. I don’t go to uni, none of my friends have been to uni. None of us own our own homes or have parents who are in a position to help with a deposit. I won’t get an inheritance as my parents rent too. I have always lived in central London in very nice council housing.
I earn 35k a year and work in the NHS. Home visits are a part of my job, probably only 10% of the people I visit own their own home. A high percentage are in overcrowded and unsuitable accommodation. As somebody else said it’s not uncommon for families to be in a small 1 bedroom flat with multiple children, for years.
You are privileged. I don’t know anybody like you in my social circles. Your circle does not include people like me and my friends so your judgement is really skewed.

Think it is common in some circles to receive financial help and not others. The people i worked with when I started teaching saw this as normal. In my world outside work most people rented. We did not get any financial help because the money just wasn't there.

PMSL 😂 👏👏👏👏

This is a humble brag if ever I’ve read one! There is no way you truly believe you are just average and not privileged to be given such massive amounts of money in life. Genuinely not sure how this is even a question in OP’s mind!