AIBU to think my adult life is average rather than privileged?

[Finchell]

Prepared to be told otherwise and of course I know I have had some degree of privilege. As a child I had a good education and opportunities and I accept that is probably classed as ‘privileged.’ But I don’t think that overall my adult life is, I think it’s pretty standard.

Had 50k towards house deposit (everyone I know had had financial support to buy a house)

Gifted 2k to 3k a year (again over birthday and Christmas etc this would seem usual to my friends)

DD has (small) house on trust from grandparents. I only know one other family who haven’t been in a position to make some provision for their grandchildren, not necessarily a house but cash etc

Earnings 71k, again this is of course not a low amount but in terms of household income it’s not a lot these days.

How easy do you think it is to get council/HA housing?
Regardless of what’s “normal” in your circle you ARE privileged.
If you want to be educated why not start a thread asking for peoples experiences? Mine is that I’m a single mum of 4 in a 3 bed HA house. I live payday to payday. I’ve just managed to book our first ever holiday ever due to some back payment from UC. I’ll never own a house nor have any desire to. That’s normal in my circle.

In uk 63% to 65% own their own home.
5.4 million house holds private rent around 19%
Social housing is 17%

Thars based from a couple of years ago.

The post is giving second hand embarrassment!

If you work in finance do you have access to payroll.

You'd see your salary was double the average.

As people upthread have said half of parents help with deposit but fewer still give £50k. That’s 1.5 the average salary and about 20% deposit for the average property, Majority buy with 10%.

Your salary topped up by a pre tax £6k yes that’s very generous.

What was said to upset you? This is personal as you aren’t able to apply critical thinking.

I’m not saying this just to join the pile on, but even your level of expectation that others in this thread should provide you with perspective and educate you is an indication of your level of privilege and entitlement. You could have done the work and some reading around this yourself, and if you’d have ever had any interest in the lives of others less fortunate then you’d already have known about it surely?

Im incredibly privileged too - not so much with financial gifts, trusts etc. But I recognise I am and have been very lucky in life, even with my share of trauma and loss and difficulties I’ve been, to some extent, cushioned. I don’t think it takes anything away from me to recognise that.

I really don’t understand this type of thread (except as clickbait).

No matter what your personal position or friendship group; even if you live in Belgravia and are surrounded by people worth multiple millions, surely you read a newspaper or watch some kind of news?!

The average person in this country lives paycheck to pay check and just doesn’t have the kind of life that you and your friends have.

You are privileged compared to most people in the UK. You are very privileged compared to most people in the world.

I had help. I had £5k to buy a house and felt lucky and privileged to have it. Here’s you with ten times that much saying you don’t feel that way. Wow.

But don't you feel wealthy earning that amount? I earn 30k, husband earns 45k and we feel very wealthy compared to others.
We have never had any of the other financial support you have had and are unlikely to (we did have 1.5k towards our wedding). But we are good at managing money and have made good choices and are almost mortgage free.

I was very kindly gifted £2000 when I turned 18 by my grandad (as I was the only grandchild who didn’t get the government trust fund) this is the only help I have ever had towards anything (and I was so grateful for it!). I get around £200-£300 on birthdays and Christmas (combined between everyone!). If anything, I’d say I’m average, but on the luckier side as I know people who get nothing. You’re either incredibly out of touch, or looking for a space to brag 🤷🏻‍♀️

I don’t think it’s hostile generally , I find it supportive. I have two daughters. One is in full time work and earns about £35000. The other has several children and is self employed and lives in social housing. Neither of them has had any financial support from me or my ex, until a recent gift of £5000 from my ex. I give them £30 for birthdays and Christmas. I think my ex gives them £50.
If you compare yourself to them, I think you would agree that you are privileged.

You’re a privileged wind up merchant, HTH.

Gosh.
You are privileged.

I know I’ve been privileged even though things haven’t been easy.

1. no uni debt as I was in a low income family at the time due to parental ill health
2. Bought a house when prices were relatively low in the 90s (did get help towards a deposit but very low thousands not hundreds of thousands, due to the circumstances at the time)
3. married someone with a good salary which allowed us to buy a gorgeous house (cost was supplemented with my small inheritance around that time)
4. I only work part time but am comfortable
5. We got ££££ help towards our wedding
6. we got an early ‘pay out’ of an inheritance of £££,£££ which we have used to do some house maintenance and will use to help our children if they go to uni. However, grandparents/family provide no help towards child care and no flashy presents - children don’t receive gifts/money unless Easter, Christmas etc, Christmas presents are under £30 each.

We are comfortable but not ‘flashy’ and my childhood and career means we are more than aware of this and how lucky we are. some of our friends are much less comfortable and we also have friends who are earning less/similar but able to do far more holidays, treats, luxuries due to family support or being paid in cash! 😡 Yes some people are lucky enough never to have to consider their spending but some people have to account for every penny.

@Finchell I feel this post has got to be a joke of some sort but just to give you an example of normal, we saved up our £10,000 house deposit over 7, yes 7 years. We bought a small (but lovely) place in 2018. No financial support from family. It can be done.

Theres a shortage of council housing. People in temporary accommodation ie rooms /studios /flats/houses. Depends what temporary accommodation is available at a time. Yes 5 People can be given just a room sharing kitchen _bathroom with strangers. Places often run done. Mould, vermin. In general awful condition.

Depending where in the uk. People can wait for several years for council/social housing.

You are very privileged

What does your butler think?

Privilege is relative. Clearly in your circles you're mediocre, if not slightly lagging. Whereas compared to people who's parents can't afford to subsidise them, you're very fortunate. If you're an educated adult who someone thinks is worth a £71k salary, I'm surprised you need something so obvious explaining to you.
If you genuinely want to know where you stand compared to the rest of the UK, just Google some key facts. I found in under 2 minutes that 34% of adults age 24-35 are home owners and 30% of those will have recieved parental help to purchase. That sort of information will give you a much more objective view.

These rage baiting trolls create such an unpleasant atmosphere on mn. If it sounds absolutely ridiculous it likely is, don't bother posting a response!

You clearly don’t have poor friends if they are all being gifted houses from their parents and have trust funds from their grandparents though do you?

I’m a pensioner. I don’t have any private pension and I live on just under £14000 per year. I buy my clothes in charity shops. My holidays are a few days in a travel lodge paid for by saving £2 coins. This is so I can visit relatives. My mortgage is paid off and I have a 2013 car and a 7 year old electric bike. My home is clean and comfortable and I consider myself privileged when I see some of the people who live near me ( in a nice place in the south of England) it’s a matter of perspective, I think.

Ah, the goady bored poster, such a mumsnet trope.

@Finchell What I find SO hard to believe is that you seem to have no inkling at all of what life is like for people outside of your little bubble

I'm from a very working class background and worked in NHS admin all my life. I came into contact with consultants who lived a very different life from me, my family and friends. Some of them had nannies for their children, most were privately educating their children, they had lovely holidays, cars and homes in leafy suburbs or villages. I've seen documentaries and TV dramas which have shown various aspects of a privileged lifestyle. When I go to London occasionally there is obvious evidence that many people have spending power which I can only dream of

How is it then that I know something of the sort of life which you and your friends lead (and you are in the minority) and yet you seem to have NO idea at all about the lives of the majority of people in the country? I would love an answer from you, but somehow don't think I'll get one . . . .

No, they're not OP.

It's just not nice hearing the truth, and it's not what you expected/wanted.

Your views on average/privilege are so off, it's almost offensive/rude. You've just never been told this, and you dont like it. Not liking it doesn't stop it from being true.

If you'd asked this in a public, face-to-face environment, people would be thinking the same thing of you.

I'm saying this from a position where I am nowhere near as privileged as you, and I'm fully aware that I'm in a good position and there are many much worse off than I am. You seem completely unaware of where you are in the grand scheme of things, and I think you need your eyes opened before you go around spouting what's in your post, causing more offence.