AIBU to think my adult life is average rather than privileged?

[Finchell]

Prepared to be told otherwise and of course I know I have had some degree of privilege. As a child I had a good education and opportunities and I accept that is probably classed as ‘privileged.’ But I don’t think that overall my adult life is, I think it’s pretty standard.

Had 50k towards house deposit (everyone I know had had financial support to buy a house)

Gifted 2k to 3k a year (again over birthday and Christmas etc this would seem usual to my friends)

DD has (small) house on trust from grandparents. I only know one other family who haven’t been in a position to make some provision for their grandchildren, not necessarily a house but cash etc

Earnings 71k, again this is of course not a low amount but in terms of household income it’s not a lot these days.

Of course you are privileged! It’s maybe not
an uncommon scenario in your circle, but
it is privileged.

You and your friends are privileged. None of this is "normal".

The complete inability to acknowledge privilege and advantage is one of the reasons well off people seem so clueless at everyday living.

There is very limited ‘council housing’ most of which is now contracted out to private companies to build/manage. The waiting lists are long and you are housed in a B&B if you qualify for housing but none available. Private rental sector prices are almost triple my mortgage payments. So a one bed with a family in it is not surprising.

You are getting aggrieved at responses to your post. I can only suggest you volunteer at a food bank to get an idea as to ‘how the other 80% live’. You are firmly in the privileged camp

If most people you know have had money to help with a house deposit and are providing houses for their grandchildren, you're not mixing with people of that many different backgrounds.

You are within a bubble, and most people are. There's nothing wrong with that, it's normal. But it's important to be aware of it.

Life sounds hard OP 🙄

Sad you went through this and glad you are now much more comfortable but still appreciative and volunteering.

As for the OP, I suppose I’m wondering why you posted.

If it’s a true post, 🤮 and if it’s your job to drum up activity on the site with posts like this, 🤮

😂

I'm privileged and I had nothing toward a house deposit, and earn a lot less than you. But I was paid through university, own (jointly) 4 houses and 2 myselfn(mortgaged) and have good health. Most people in this country and within my peer group cannot say so much.

I think this thread is deliberately inflammatory. Surely nobody is this ignorant.

Tax wealth not work.

Wow. I’d say I’m more privileged than you and even I know you’re privileged.

Yes, but they both know you and you are extremely privileged! You are all part of the same (privileged) circle, whether they know each other or not.

Wow 😮
never had any of that.

Bait post for sure.

It's a ragebait post. OP your post is tone deaf and you seem incredibly ignorant. You are very privileged to have received the financial help that you have. Most people have to save themselves. Perhaps as you've received so much you've never had the work ethic or drive to earn more or do more for yourself so life feels average to you, no sense of achievement because you've been gifted so much.
I went to state school, always knew my family didn't have much money but gave me all they could beyond financial means but the greatest gift was a strong work ethic. My DH is the same. We both aced school and uni. Started with nothing and now have our own business, a combined income of 350k, savings of 800k and a flat in London. We did this without anyone's help. Not a stealth brag post but something we are proud of as it came entirely from our own hard work and sacrifice and going without. We do have firends here who have been earning a similar amount and here (abroad) for as long as we have but only managed to save 100k and in part i think its because they are from a privileged background - one has a trust fund and the other was gifted a house in London by their parents so no incentive to save themselves. But we did have to move abroad to a country paying less tax to be able to save more. I do think it is very hard/impossible for young people in the UK to build wealth in today's climate. Tax is too high and wages are low.

😆😆 made me laugh

I think your salary is a bit shit for someone as clearly privileged as you are and imagine people in your circle are earning more and this is what makes you feel “average”. I mean, I grew up with no privilege whatsoever, had 2 jobs for a long time which allowed me to study without debt and save for a house deposit and now earn considerably more than you. The best part of this for me is being able to help my mother have a comfortable retirement as there were times growing up she went without food so I could eat.

This comment is a huge sign of privilege. We lived in a tiny flat for 5 years and saved every penny we could for our house deposit.

This has to be a rage bait post as surely no one could be so out of touch with reality?

DH and I are middle class professionals (doctors) from middle class professional backgrounds. DH has never had money for birthdays and Christmas. When I was a teenager a few relatives would give me a tenner for birthdays, maybe totalling £50 but nothing since then! Who on earth is gifting you £2-3k per year?!

We haven’t had any money towards a house deposit or for our children, our children get a couple of toys as birthday and Christmas gifts from family members, nothing more.

We were privileged to be gifted £3k towards our wedding / as a wedding gift from both sets of parents (£6k total). That’s everything we’ve been given. We earn more than you (way above the national average just like you thanks to the privilege of a good state education, stable home background etc). But that’s income we earn ourselves from working not that we’re given.

No, large inheritances, trusts and deposits for houses are not the normal.

You and your friends are rich.

Bye!

You are extremely privileged. And the answer as to how others buy a home without a substantial cash gift ? They live very cheaply, sometime with family and save HARD off a deposit. Then mortgage themselves up to the eyeballs and continue to strive at work.

I think people are being unnecessarily harsh to the OP. I’m a degree educated millennial in the South East with a ‘good job’ who was state educated and most people I know who own a place got some help towards the deposit. In all cases their parents were baby boomers who were more financially comfortable due to more favourable financial conditions mainly around hosing costs as they grew up but not always what you’d describe as ‘middle class’. Either that or they received some inheritance when grandparents passed or they were fortunate to have lived at home with their parents either rent free or paying very little so they could save their house deposit.

The bank of mum and dad is now involved in something like 50% of first time buyer house deposits. It’s unfair but it’s the norm and it’s reality I only know a handful of people who are paid well and yet still don’t own a property and that’s as they didn’t get any family help.

It’s because once rent has gobbled up most your income, bills, student loan repayments you have very little ability to save unless you earn mega bucks. Or maybe even if you haven’t had the money from your family you’ve married someone who has and have benefited that way. It’s a complex picture in which many don’t fully acknowledge their privilege.

Eliza Philly has done a lot of really good work on this area which she calls the inheritocracy. Have a listen to this if you’re interested.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/m002lfft?partner=uk.co.bbc&origin=share-mobile

Such wilful ignorance. Ever wondered how there were scores of empty houses waiting for those on the council housing list during a housing crisis? Why rents were so high when the councils were overloaded with houses at the ready...?

This thread made me chuckle, surely it can’t be possible foe anyone to get to adult hood and have absolutely no idea about the range of circumstances of people in tne country. Never sees the news, doesn’t understand child poverty, unemployment, low income. Amd thinks everyone’s parents just throws money at them.

op, you’re lucky your parents support you as you’re not a high earning household, and if you have kids you’re unlikely to be able to do for them whay your parents do for you.

My parents cleared out their savings (inheritance from their parents) to give me a £50k house deposit 20 years ago. I am now divorced and own my house outright. I get enough maintenance from my ex that I can afford to work part time in a job I love. I am so very privileged! I am grateful every day for my financial security and I am acutely aware of the housing crisis and the cost of living crisis and the levels of poverty millions of people are living in in this country, never mind elsewhere in the world.