AIBU to think my adult life is average rather than privileged?

[Finchell]

Prepared to be told otherwise and of course I know I have had some degree of privilege. As a child I had a good education and opportunities and I accept that is probably classed as ‘privileged.’ But I don’t think that overall my adult life is, I think it’s pretty standard.

Had 50k towards house deposit (everyone I know had had financial support to buy a house)

Gifted 2k to 3k a year (again over birthday and Christmas etc this would seem usual to my friends)

DD has (small) house on trust from grandparents. I only know one other family who haven’t been in a position to make some provision for their grandchildren, not necessarily a house but cash etc

Earnings 71k, again this is of course not a low amount but in terms of household income it’s not a lot these days.

where are all the Mumsnet rich and blagging types tonight

Yes, it’s a bit odd. Start a thread about having another dc and you will be told it’s irresponsible to not save house deposits for your dc…

The OP is clearly in a bit of bubble but maybe it’s an age thing as more than 50% of FTBs have some form of help so it’s not that unusual.

Jolly good, Well done

Hi OP.

Yes from what you have said it does sound privileged to me.

thought I would share our experience (with kindness)

not sure where we are on the scale thinking about average as I have no idea but we were gifted £15k towards a house deposit, earn around £60k household income (DH self employed so varies), annual gifts nowhere near that, a few hundred for both of us over birthdays and Christmas maybe? Nothing specific for DD from grandparents that we are aware of (they are all still working full time and building up their own pensions)

Well, I think I am privileged, so you are extremely privileged.

I earn £55000 a year.
My parents gift me about £500 a year in total.
I am a home owner, but was not given any money towards a deposit. I actually did not require a deposit back in 2005. I still have a mortgage today.
My son doesn’t have a house or trust fund, but as an only child, I hope he’ll inherit my home one day (if it doesn’t go on care).
I have a lovely husband and live in a good area. I have much to be thankful for.

You are extremely privileged to have received £50k towards a house deposit, plus your DD being given a house as well! The only people I know who had help with houses were some of those I worked with in the City early on in my career.

My friends all worked for what we’ve got, and due to their professions, some now live in £m houses. None of us were given a penny as most of our parents didn’t have two to rub together.

Everyone you know has had that help because everyone in your circle is privileged. Your deposit gift to you is more than an average person's annual wage. 3k is more than many people's entire annual disposable income

I think I understand better the point of this thread. Rage baiting coupled with faux surprise when challenged. Several pages already to a thread started at 9pm.

A Google search is all you need to understand your situation. Well researched stats are online for all enquiring minds. Average earnings/percentage households that rent/own with mortgage/own outright/average savings/average amounts received by FTBs from the bank of mum and dad. You can see yourself where you fall and decide if its average/above or below average without asking on here.

Strangely, I know quite a lot of people 'in finance' and they all seem a bit more au fait with things like average salaries, or at least, how to look them up.

I suggest, as others have recommended, you start reading newspapers and taking a keener interest in the world around you in order to self educate .. Your level of insight and intelligence is frankly ridiculous ...

WTF??? So you're upset that you only got £50 towards your house while one of your best friends bought their house outright at 30 while another was gifted £200k???

I will try to be balanced in this answer...

I was brought up in a fairly affluent suburb, parents paid my university and also afforded me a beautiful wedding and help for house deposit. I earn >100k and have a reasonably nice lifestyle.

That said, I have friends who earn minimum wage with no help, I have friends earning more than me with help I couldn’t even begin to fathom. I also read the newspaper and keep up with current affairs and so am HUGELY conscious of my privilege. I struggle to understand how you have so little understanding of others???

I do think you have a very sheltered view of the world!

I do have quite a few friends who have had help with a deposit but it’s been 5-10k to rather than their whole deposit and apart from a couple of higher earners the rest that own homes have just stayed with their parents while they saved.
And plenty are stuck private renting because they’ve not been able to stay with parents and save but it’s very difficult to get a council house here unless you’re already homeless.

I know a couple of people who parents have helped them with their first car but it’s been the deposit on a second ford ka or toyota aygo or similar and even that I wouldn’t say is the norm.

Again I know loads of people that get money from their parents for birthdays and christmas but it’s around £50 or £100 if you’re lucky not in the thousands.

You genuinely sound bamboozled at other people's struggles where it is coming across as a bit offensive. Many people I know who would eventually get on the property ladder spent their 20s living with their parents in order to save for a deposit.
And as for the council housing, the situation is dire. Families being put in b&b's and hotels because there is no where available. Waiting lists for years. It's not as straightforward as "just go to the council".

You stated "everyone I know had had financial support to buy a house". You said you only know one family who don’t have provisions to pass onto grand kids, either money or housing.

And you earn 71k, which is more than 96% of the entire population, or more than around 90% of the full time working population - but are claiming you are average . . . .

Volunteer at a food bank.

There has been loads of these threads lately, im thinking its the same user under different names.

If you can’t see your privilege you’re an idiot

or this is a massive windup

Crying here 😂

Maybe volunteer to help in a homeless shelter or a food bank

Your posts are rather out of touch @Finchell. But I expect that most truly privileged people can’t recognise their own privilege.

FTR I have been completely financially independent since I was 21 years old. My husband and I have paid for everything, including the deposit and mortgage on our house. Neither my parents nor his were in a position to help us financially. And that is absolutely fine. I think our situation is typical, whereas yours is extremely privileged.

you can hand on heart say you’ve done well and everything you have done is through your hard work and determination. Material things help of course but I would bet everything that you have a genuine heart of gold and the world would be a worse place without you. The OP lives in a dreamworld and the fact they do not think they are privileged makes me also think they are a ‘me me me’ person who is clueless about the world around them and probably not a nice person with their clear gloating on the issue.

hold your head high xx

I would consider you to be privileged. You have been given a substantial amount to get on the property ladder, you get thousands for Xmas and birthdays and your child is sorted for property.

How can you be so tone deaf? I’ve been lucky to have a pretty comfortable life, and to help out my DC, but I’m certainly aware that very many people are not in that position.

@Finchell Your post reads like one of those looney articles in the Telegraph about people on £100k salaries who claim to be financially struggling.

You have become completely disconnected from reality and it sounds like you live in your own world.

If this is a genuine question, you are living in fairy land.