To feel sad it’s just us

[Feelsicktoomuchchocolate]

Live abroad and away from family (I want to return home, Dh doesn’t)
I try to make everything nice, did an egg hunt at home and in the garden today, we were at an organised hunt yesterday. Dh is making bbq lunch, but all around us are families with their wider families-grandparents etc having loud, cheerful lunches
Dd constantly asking to go to her friends houses on the road today and me having to say no because they’re having family time.
Feel so envious of all these big families and their plans and sad for Dd
It’s the same at Christmas if we stay here some years

So your husband just digs his heels in despite you desperate to return home?

how long have you been out there? Is there not an expat community?

A family bbq and Easter egg hunt sounds lovely

tell your DD to quit badgering you asking you to go out!

There is, but often friends return home or family come out, same at Christmas too. I had my parents here last year, which was lovely, but they’re coming later this year as my Dm had an op. They’re all together with my Dsis and Dbro and niece and nephew today, which makes it harder.
Yes Dh thinks the life is better where we are and uk is awful now

She’s asking to go to her friends to play on the road, but they’re all with wider family. She’s very social and energetic, she probably prefers being there with everyone around
Be glad when the day is over, Easter & xmas shouldn’t be like this though

Sorry OP but there are many many people who haven't emigrated who are in exactly the same position as you: they have no extended family living near them for one reason or another. I was in that position. My DH had no relatives at all, mine lived a couple of hundred miles away in the same country as me and we were low contact anyway.

Yes it is sad not to have a loving, extended family living close by, but it sounds as though you and your DH are making an effort and your DD obviously has close friends, so honestly I think it's a question of accepting the situation.

Unless of course there are other factors which mean you aren't happy with your current life other than lack of extended family? Because living close to family isn't all it's cracked up to be and tends to be idealised, especially at times like Christmas and Easter.

I think it’s just mind set?

Its just dh and i, with child, also overseas. We just get on with it.
We have seen some friends with kids last week and met at park on Friday a few hours. But this long weekend it’s just the three of us. I quite like it. Did a bit of baking, long walk in woods yesterday, some gardening. Today dh did a little egg hunt in garden alone, and we have just pottered around in garden, about to have bbq. Tomorrow we will go to local castle grounds for a flea market. But no plans to see anyone we know. Ds hasn’t asked to see any friends, we would just say it’s Easter and he will see on Tuesday again when kindergarten resumes.

Some times we go invite friends over and then have local friends and other kids here or we go there. But family isn’t involved

But how often would you realistically see your family. Say you're originally from Glasgow but your work is in London you're not going to see family anymore than you do now.

You're perhaps giving up a lovely lifestyle to return to once a week visits...where one of you will be in the kitchen making food most of the time. It's beautiful sunshine here in North Somerset but way to bloody windy and cold to bbq.

And trust me big families ain't all that... I have 56 first cousins...it's not all happy families

So there is a thriving ex pat community

loads of them won’t have extended family out there

and just tell your dd to quit pestering you about going to the neighbours! And enjoy the bbq

Sounds sad, why did you agree to move?

If there's a good expat community and your DD is usually social and has lots of friends then I really don't see the problem with a day just spent with your little family.

Not everyone has a large extended family, and many people aren't spending Easter Sunday with others, you can just hear the ones that are. It's obviously sad to be away from family but it's not a great sadness for your dd to have one day at home with her parents, there's nothing wrong With a small Christmas or easter

I’ve lived outside the UK for 25 years now. We don’t really do Easter (have spent today gardening, doing housework, reading) and it poses me by tbh. But my expat book group are all sharing photos of them with each other, with the families, out on bike runs, etc.

Do you have a network of friends? Can you arrange to spend holiday weekends with others who are in the same situation?

Are you going ‘home’ for Xmas? Or summer?

I’m on my own today and every day. Days like Easter Sunday when everyone appears to have family company are bloody awful. Be grateful for what you have.

Better than me! I am widowed and on my own today. My local ACs ands GC are with their in-laws today. Fair's fair - they were with me last year.

Enjoy the things that you have done with your DD and spare a thought for those on their own completely!!

I hate to say count your blessings, but it is on the tip of my tongue ........ !!

I’m working, my DCs are working and DH is watching the football. Families in the UK are not all meeting en masse for lamb dinners and jolly japes.

Plus it’s fucking sleeting here.

Your DH is right OP. UK Is shit.

I do and i’m sorry for others situations, but as people commonly say..it’s not a race to the bottom. I miss my family terribly, am stuck in a situation I don’t want to be in, it’s ok for me to feel sad

Let her play out OP and have sobe couple tone with your dh. Not all families are big, I'd say that's the minority.

If we moved back, i’d be down the road from my family, so would likely see them every weekend and once during the week. Very different from the three times a year or so at present

So… you and your husband have some talking to do!

No one is playing out today as they’re with their families

I never understand the purpose of such drastic comparisons. You are in a totally different situation to OP. Just because she has a family, doesn't mean she cannot miss her relatives and friends. It's normal to feel a bit sad or even jealous seeing other people celebrate with loads of people. That doesn't mean she isn't grateful for what she is. You can be thankful and still be upset. It's not a competition of who is worse off.

Ah I’m sorry, not much advice I’m afraid OP. We have a very small family now, lots of the older generations have passed away, lots of the younger ones out doing their own thing with their own families, as they should be. We try to have get together a bit there’s not many of us now. I can remember when my cousin first got divorced about 20 years ago…she was a young mum with a baby and she said Sundays were awful for her, it was like everyone was doing their own thing with their own family…whereas in the week she could busy with work, her son etc and then in Saturdays she could go to the shops or soft play or her mums…but she said she really felt it on a Sunday. I guess for you these times really heightened your situation.

i do think you’re right about your child though. I know it’s hard to make it “exciting” for her, and you understand why she likes to go to her friends and neighbours but they deserve family days on days like this. Whilst I’m sure they wouldn’t turn away, I think you’re right to keep her with you. I guess you just have to have plans and be upbeat for her. She will pick up on your mood, as hard as it is to be enthusiastic. Is there any way you could go away or have a night over somewhere? I couldn’t afford to do it endlessly but we sometimes took ours away if we really felt it was going to be a downer at home with just us.

You probably need to unpick the reason for your sadness. It’s probably not just about today, as many other posters have said, so many people don’t live close to their family, or may relationships are poor, or they simply don’t have family. You obviously miss your own family, are you unhappy in other ways? Would you return to the UK without your partner? A lot of things to consider.

Out of curiosity OP, what were the circumstances of the move abroad? Was it only ever meant to be temporary?

I was a child growing up in an expat life years ago. We always shared Xmas with another family so it felt more special. Sometimes we’d have two or three families over and each pitched in with an element of cooking. Do you know another expat family you like who you could do this with?

You can't help how you feel, but perhaps there are things you could do to stop the feelings taking over? It's great that you make family events nice (and a family can consist of parents and child, it doesn't have to include extended family), but try to be more in the moment - enjoy the nice day/events you've planned, try to arrange days/meals out or in with friends, enjoy a BBQ in great weather. If you always wish you were somewhere else or with other people, you'll miss out on the good things in front of you.