To feel sad it’s just us

[Feelsicktoomuchchocolate]

Live abroad and away from family (I want to return home, Dh doesn’t)
I try to make everything nice, did an egg hunt at home and in the garden today, we were at an organised hunt yesterday. Dh is making bbq lunch, but all around us are families with their wider families-grandparents etc having loud, cheerful lunches
Dd constantly asking to go to her friends houses on the road today and me having to say no because they’re having family time.
Feel so envious of all these big families and their plans and sad for Dd
It’s the same at Christmas if we stay here some years

It’s not ok to wish away a day when you could be having a lovely time with the family you have made.

Moved when younger, before Dd, feels different when you have Dc

I completely get you. We lived overseas for a decade and I found the celebration days the hardest. Especially when my siblings got together with my parents. We moved back to the UK 3 years ago and I’m not regretting for a second. This week we are away with my sibling and his children. It’s bliss and made sweeter by knowing it wasn’t always like this. Yes, the UK isn’t perfect but it’s not all dire. You have to speak to your husband, how long have you been away? It can’t all be his feelings first.

Ive tried…many times

I haven’t read any replies so I hope I’m not repeating what others have said but seriously it’s lovely just your immediate family. I have 2 sisters but honestly I hardly see them or talk to them. It’s just so much family politics and dysfunctional. It may seem like they all are having cheerful family lunch but trust me there will be issues. Before you know it the kids will be grown up and you will remember the lovely afternoons with them. Is there any one else you know living there with no family? Maybe for next holiday arrange a get together

I can’t return without him really as can’t take Dd

You are in, what sounds like, a very unhappy marriage

I didn’t think it would be *Forever, moved when younger and free-er, things change

How far away are you & why did you move there?

Did you think it was for a limited time & it has been drawn out?

We were never a family for big meet ups for occasions though.

If so I don't think I could have moved.

Also when we moved here it was on the understanding that my parent would stay 2 or 3 time a year for 4/5 weeks & I would pop back 3/4 times for a week or so.

We're also only in Europe.

@Feelsicktoomuchchocolate, next year book a nice restaurant for easter Sunday then go a walk afterwards, hopefully somewhere scenic.
Try to make it more special, working with what you have.

Patronising much?

Suggesting you go back to your family for Easter is patronising? Or disagreeing with you is?

Being an immigrant is always like this, there will always be something missing.

I don’t think any of you is being particularly unreasonable.

So sorry xx

But the op isn't having a lovely day and shes came to mn to express her sadness. That's allowed! She obviously treasures her dd and just misses her birth family. I can't understand why that's being criticised.

So sorry, it’s really hard x

Not that easy, can’t leave with my Dc

I completely understand and sympathize. It’s very hard and I feel an overwhelming desire to be back in the Uk and close to family. We initially moved for a couple of years and are now coming up to 18 years. Luckily the end is in sight and DH will retire in the next 2-3 years and we will be back.

The only thing I’ve found that helps is travelling back home more frequently- not always easy or practical but if you can, it does help!
and no I don’t hate it here, I have lots of friends etc etc but I yearn to be home…. And yes Easter is rubbish when you don’t have family nearby x

I’m so so sorry 🌷

Every time I go with my boyfriend to visit his army of nieces and nephews it just solidifies I’m very happy I only have one child. The chaos 🥀

Would your DH want to be this close to his in-laws and have them that involved? Would his family be close by too?

He's not unreasonable not wanting to move. Most people find that much in-law involvement suffocating.

All the people telling the OP to be grateful for what she has are being unfair.

It’s ok to feel said for what you don’t have as well as grateful for what you do. Endless ‘my life is harder than yours’ do nothing but make you look unkind IMO. It’s not a competition.

I often feel similarly at Christmas or my birthday and that’s ok but I am ‘luckier’ than others.

Maybe people could try and empathise instead of trying to win the badge for most lonely.

I come from a very small family, there’s just my mum and me really, and I’ve always craved big family gatherings. I tried to build it with a community of friends, but it hasn’t really worked out that way. I’m divorced and it’s just me and my two children. We do always have a lovely time just the three of us but, yes, I understand the longing. My mum is amazing, but she doesn’t like to come round or have any interest in having us there really.

I’m fairness the Op has posted on AIBU and asked if she’s being unreasonable to be sad… on a board known for debate etc. If she’s just wanted a hand hold there are other boards more suited to that.

Was the move discussed when having children, though?

Only asking because my friend and his wife moved abroad but once they had children the whole situation had to be discussed and reviewed. In the end they decided to move back to Europe for the baby and live near her family because Ireland has better wages.

They’re miserable tho so you never know how it will pan out.