For thinking it is odd for trans men to give birth

[Overthinkingotter]

Talked to friend today and got on subject of trans men having babies. I said that, imo, being pregnant/giving birth is the last thing I’d want to do as a trans man as surely the process of pregnancy would be incredibly triggering for someone with gender dysphoriac? I the said that, if I were a trans man who wanted a baby, I’d most likely find an alternative way rather than carrying the baby myself.

I thought this was quite a mild comment, but fried reacted as if I had said something quite offensive/bigoted.
Is my view really so unreasonable/extreme?

I agree yet we have to be inclusive in my trust and say pregnant women AND pregnant people. We also have “inclusive toilets” signage. They are individual toilet cubicles… the sign “toilet” does the job. The whole thing is mad - I’m okay with someone saying their gender is different to their sex in the sense they are articulating feelings but that doesn’t erase their sex. I’m also still curious what “feeling like a woman/man” feels like.

And this crap within the NHS is why I am too afraid to have a smear test or mammogram.

I am assured it will be done by a woman. But that presumably extends to transwomen because the NHS can’t seem to
understand the difference.

I have a fairly high risk of breast cancer in my family yet I can’t get tested. I even asked them if they could guarantee an actual biologically female clinician and they couldn’t.

Kindly, this is quite an extreme reaction. Your health is important and these checks are important.

Can you get a chaperone?

If they can’t work out what a woman is then they can’t assure me it will be done by a woman.

A chaperone won’t reassure me - it’s the fact that an allegedly woman only service can be provided by someone whose not actually a woman but is pretending to be.

I agree OP. I feel as though they can’t be very engaged with the process of transitioning if they’re willing to have a baby.

My best, most caring and gentle gynaecologists were the male ones (twin high risk pregnancy). I don’t think you should be concerned about a qualified healthcare professional’s genitalia (I say that as a rape victim who really struggles with smears).

That's your experience.

It doesn't mean it's anyone else's.

Some women, for whatever reason, would be very uncomfortable with a male gynaecologist. I'm not sure why you think their needs should be overridden because they dont match your own.

I’m fine with intimate healthcare being done by men. I have had great care many times.

What I am not fine with is claiming a particular thing is performed by a woman when it’s actually a man pretending to be a woman.

It’s not their genitalia FFS, a man is fine, a man pretending he’s a woman is not.

and you aren’t the only rape survivor

I thought this was about trans men giving birth?

I've a trans man family member and I can't see him wanting to give birth. I think the whole thing of having the ability to do so is kinda anti what trans is all about?

You have to want to turn yourself into a man, to the point you actually won't be able to give birth. Because you want to be male and men can't.

But I guess every trans person is different.

I'd feel like I would want to adopt or even do surrogacy if I wanted a kid and was a trans man. But as a regular woman I'm not really keen on surrogacy as a concept.

oops it’s the thread feds 🚨

How anyone starts a family is surely their business. Some people have more options than others, e.g. If you have a uterus, you might feel that this is the most straightforward option. I don’t think it’s up to other people to decide or judge what’s right.

I’m just telling you what I know, from actual
trams men who have given birth. You don’t have to agree or understand it.
Gay and trans people generally ignore others opinions on how they should have a family or even IF they should have a family… because it’s no-one else business! Trust me, we have heard it all…

Some of the things that I’ve been told over the years - sometimes by complete randoms!

Being gay is wrong. You can be gay but not marry because that is wrong. You aren’t ‘really’ married because you are gay. You should have adopted. Gay people shouldn’t be allowed to adopt because of their lifestyle. You shouldn’t choose an anonymous donor - that’s unfair to the child. You should choose an anonymous donor because it’s unfair/confusing to use a known donor… if you can’t conceive ‘naturally’ then you shouldn’t have a baby - that one was from a colleague who’s wife had IVF to have their kids…
I could go on…

Because increasingly being trans seems to be about having your cake and eating it

I get this but on the flip side, men will likely have to be cared for by a woman and have no choice due to disparity in those working in caring professions. Whether your gynaecologist has a penis or not, they have the education and that should be the priority.

I never said I was “the only rape survivor” and I’m fully aware there are many of us. I was trying to give context that I also find smears hard due to past trauma, but sure, you have a go and belittle me if that makes you feel powerful.

Do you not see the difference between a man dealing with you and a man who is fetishising womanhood dealing with you?

That wasn’t my intention. I apologise.

I have had one successful smear in my life so I get that.

But advertising something as a service performed by women should be that. And sadly it isn’t.

Do we have stats re how many gynaecologists are also trans? I only know my own hospital but the consultants I know are pretty aware of science and focused on that over ideological gender choices. I would be surprised if there are many trans gynaecologists because it’s kind of contradictory to their specialist area.

I do see the difference, I’ve just never seen it in reality. Those specialising in women’s health are generally fairly black and white re sex and science in my experience. Happy to be proven wrong by stats.

So why do they talk about ‘pregnant people’?

And I don’t know if you are in the UK but I have never been seen by a gynaecologist in my life, smears and mammograms are done by trained healthcare workers.

Who'd be collecting stats?

But it's not really about stats, is it? It doesn't matter how low the statistical likelihood, a women who doesn't consent to gynaecological treatment from a man shouldn't be gaslit in this way.

Because we’re told to by senior execs and no one wants to get fired for not being inclusive.