For thinking it is odd for trans men to give birth

[Overthinkingotter]

Talked to friend today and got on subject of trans men having babies. I said that, imo, being pregnant/giving birth is the last thing I’d want to do as a trans man as surely the process of pregnancy would be incredibly triggering for someone with gender dysphoriac? I the said that, if I were a trans man who wanted a baby, I’d most likely find an alternative way rather than carrying the baby myself.

I thought this was quite a mild comment, but fried reacted as if I had said something quite offensive/bigoted.
Is my view really so unreasonable/extreme?

I thought this was quite a mild comment, but fried reacted as if I had said something quite offensive/bigoted.

This is because very few of the arguments and demands make sense. Challenges can't be responded to as robustly as they can be made. This is all they have.

It's fucking disgusting. These men insisting that they get a go at breastfeeding.
I regard it as child abuse, especially if they're taking drugs to make some kind of weird 'milk'. God only knows what harm it's having on the infant.
I'm so glad that I'm past the whole maternity stage because I swear to God I would not be able to tolerate this shit if face to face with it.
It really does anger me.

Isn’t a trans man a woman who has transitioned to a man? Why would a man want to be pregnant and give birth? Sounds complex

Some of them take testosterone while pregnant even if they discontinue it after finding out they’re pregnant it’s contraindicated in pregnancy.

No one wants to have that discussion because “transphobia” but some babies are going to be born with birth defects

It is absolutely abuse for a man to attempt to 'breastfeed' an infant and the fact that we have got to this place as a society shocks me to my core.

To put men's fetishes ahead of babies safety and nutrition. I have no words for how fucked up that is.

Because then they’ll get even more attention and aren’t they so inspirational and special.
“look all!!! How amazing is this man! He has created a human from his ovum and grew this child in his womb and this child will emerge from his birthing canal!! Please can all hospital staff be aware throughout the birth that the most important thing is not a safe birth, but we do not misgender the birthing parent and do NOT acknowledge the infants sex till we check with the birthing parent what they have decided”

I remember being a kid (in my 20s now) and hearing about a pregnant man and thinking it was some shocking medical advancement only to find out it’s just a normal women who identifies as a man 🤣

I know, it’s all completely b*llocks isn’t it. Truly f@cked up world we live in, worry for my kids!

Yes. And nonsense like "if you have a cervix you should have a smear" will make it harder for women with learning disabilities or difficulties, or English as a second language, or just a poor level of English, to get proper health care. It's actually a retrograde step in terms of increasing inclusion where it is actually NECESSARY, rather than just "kind".

I don't think that the word ditto has ever been more appropriate for me here.

Yes I do

i I don’t think it’s a right to have babies if you’re going to be a harmful parent

I don’t think addicts should have babies either

So will I see a history of you being vocal about this topic on the site?

Actually I can understand why a trans man would want to have a baby. In the same way many people, gay/straight, trans or not want a baby. It's an extremely human drive. Women put themselves through the wringer physically to have a baby. It's not really any different.

Slightly weird question but yes. I don’t believe I have started any discussions on it but when it has come up I’ve expressed consistent views. I’ve also had the same user name for years so you should be able to get a good search history on me.

Well far more women have babies while on various psychiatric drugs than trans men so I'd have thought you would see it as a more pressing issue.

Something come up on my FB feed where several women were reporting have SS referrals and drug testing on their newborns and themselves as their babies were born with obvious signs of withdrawal. Nobody ever told them it was due to very common anti-anxiety and anti-depressants they were prescribed. So there is a consent issue going on too.

Of course it’s a weird thing for a trans man to do. They don’t want to be female and everything that is associated with being female, yet want to give birth- the most female thing you can do- but have all the language associated it de-sexed and gender neutral. It’s pathetic. This is why I have no time for this nonsense. It’s all contradictory rubbish.

But how? Where would he gestate the baby? You do know female torsos are designed differently than men’s? The expansion of the uterus would crush his heart and lungs, as they are larger in males? Where exactly would they put the uterus?

Our 16 year old 'nephew' wasn't born male and has hated their female body from a very young age, I can't imagine them ever wanting to carry and birth a child.

If you genuinely feel you have been born into the wrong sex why would you feel comfortable putting yourself, and more importantly, your own child through such trauma? Because surely it would be a trauma to experience something like that?

Just as a person born with disabilities has to come to terms with a part of their body not working in the way that maybe it should then imo, transpeople who genuinely feel they are in the wrong body sadly need to except their limitations.

If you believe you are a man then act like one. It's fairly straightforward, men don't birth babies. Simple as that.

I know several transmen who have given birth, and their motivation is the same as it is for most parents - they wanted to have a child and that was the most straight forward way of going about it. Despite being conflicted about the actual pregnancy.

Not everyone has the surgery in the same way, otherwise this wouldn't exist. And no one takes La Leche seriously, except certain people on Mumsnet who talk about it as though it's trying to run the country. It's a bonkers fringe group that doesn't get air time anywhere else because everyone recognises it for what it is.

“Milk” !!!!!!

Would you drink some dubious liquid exuded from your body when you have been taking a cocktail of powerful hormonal drugs? I wouldn’t.

And frankly I wouldn’t feed it to a tiny baby since milk is the optional nutritional food for a very young child.

Surely if they were genuinely trans they wouldn't just be "conflicted"? If you are a man and want children but are unable to impregnate a woman, you have to look into alternatives like adoption and artificial insemination by donor. Getting pregnant yourself and giving birth simply isn't an option, and would normally be repugnant to someone who is rejecting any female personality, because it is a wholly feminine thing to do.

Maybe refer to the lived experience of trans people rather than making assumptions about what they think/feel/can do?

The whole trans thing is nonsense. Women give birth. If women take drugs to grow beards they are still women. I’m not sure why they have to have a special sub category name.

That's not the question. If your male partner could, would he? That is the question. Mine would. We've discussed it in a different context. He wanted a biological family and if the safest way for us to do that would be for him to carry the child, he would.

A lot of men would not put themselves through that "just" to have kids so if women did not conceive, there would be no children.

Sobering when you think about it.