I’ve been called a golddigger, haven’t I?

[LouLee63]

I’ve been with my husband for 25 years, married for 20. Really happy together, have a good relationship. We have a really “equal” marriage. We both work full time, contribute everything into one pot, financially comfortable with investments, pensions- all that good stuff.

He lost his last remaining parent a little while ago and, subsequently received a generous inheritance (high six-figures after taxes). As an only child, he was the sole beneficiary.

I met an old friend for dinner last night and she asked after my husband. I said he was well, coming to terms with his bereavement. She asked if probate was sorted and I said yes, without going into detail.

She then said I had “made a very shrewd move”. I asked what she meant and she said I was very smart to “make sure (I) married an only child who’d inherit well”. I pointed out that my husband and I met when we were in our teens and it wasn’t a conscious choice. I married him because I love him. She sneered and said “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Keep telling yourself that”.

I cut the evening short after that.

AIBU to be annoyed that she basically call me a golddigger, and reconsider our friendship?

Okay, can’t be that then.

Maybe she just thinks that’s the type of person you are - to follow the money? Did you ever speak to her about wanting a rich guy or to be taken care of?

You have been good friends with her for 40 years. Why are you asking strangers online rather than making your own judgement call?

We don't know the full story or your entire relationship with her, just a few lines you decided to share. I'm finding it weird that you're asking here.

That’s a toxic pal to get rid of

She's just beside herself with jealousy that your family has tragically come into money.
That's all it is. Not a you issue. But a her issue. Also really rude if her.

What a bitch. You don't need friends like that OP. I'd block her now tbh.

I agree @Joliefolie- people often say stupid things off the cuff if feeling down or vulnerable

Money turns otherwise very decent people into arseholes.

And it works both ways.

Oh my word, what a horrible thing to say to you. You’ve both had a tough time and don’t need this. I would go with your gut as regards what to do next. Please don’t feel guilty, she is very much in the wrong. 💐

I can’t believe you actually posted that, what a crass and offensive thing to say, seems like you and your friend are quite similar.

Before cutting her dead maybe check that she actually ment it and it wasn't just a bad banter

can’t believe how many people write off entire relationships and friendships over what could be a silly miscommunication

Que?

She's 100% jealous. You don't need people like her in your life - with friends like that, who needs enemies!?

She sneered and said “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Keep telling yourself that”.

This conversation sounds so unlike any I've ever been a part of, or witnessed, in real life, I'm struggling to believe there's not more here.

Your friend of 40 years 'sneered' at you? How weird.

You really don't deserve that vile comment it was tasteless and disgusting.
She is jealous, I would text her tell her why you are ending the friendship then block her on everything.
She needs to know she cannot hurt people's feelings and cause upset like this.

After I lost my husband my sisters response was “it’s alright for you you’ve got your inheritance”. I haven’t spoken to her since

You dont get out much then?

Some people really are that vile, and I am glad that you have never met any of them.

not a friend, she’s jealous as fk. (So am I tho lol)

Oh come on, OP. Drop the facade. It's quite clear that when you met him at 18 years old, the ONLY reason you got with him, married him etc, is because he was an only child! You didn't actually like him, you don't love him, you've just been pretending all these years waiting for this day to come!

It's also the reason you've worked hard all these years to end up having a great, well paying career yourself, because...oh wait. The theory falls down a bit there doesn't it.

Just in case it isn't clear, this is sarcasm.

To echo PPs, she is jealous, plain and simple.

Jealousy is a very human trait. But not many people display it. We might think some things in our minds, but ultimately - as a REAL friend - her concern should be how her good friend of MANY years' DH is holding up after losing his parent (and you, might I add!) And absolutely nothing to do with money.

Sorry you had to experience this but I'd personally gradually distance myself from this woman.

Tell a lie - I'd have said something to her about her cheeky comment. But I'm not advocating that 😂

She’s naming you out as some Becky Sharp character, not getting your hard work for your own financial independence.
Tell her the commentary is insulting.

I have male friends worth a lot of money. Are we suggesting that’s all there is to it - nothing about these men is worth loving than £££. It’s a very reductive way of thinking.

I'd have taken it as a joke but retort that you'd both much prefer to have the person still alive than the inheritance.

The question to ask has that support ever been reciprocated? If it has was it transactional?

You're right that few of us are lucky to have the immediate right response, but in this case problem wasn't so much lacking in the perfect response, but in backing away from probing. Also, there are various ways in dealing with this kind of thing, not necessarily replying in kind.

Let me guess, her DH is one of multiple siblings and his folks haven’t got a pot to piss in 😄

Exactly! Plus their networth probably expanded a lot after the op got together with her husband.