To be upset that I have to cancel my plans for DH’s plans?

[Cinai2]

DH mentioned a couple weeks ago that he’s made plans to see a friend on a certain date. At the beginning of this week, I told him that I want to go to the theatre and asked him if Wednesday or Thursday is better for him (we have a DC, so one can go out and the other one looks after DC) to which he replied ‘either‘. I booked my ticket for Thursday. This morning he tells me that he’s seeing his friend tonight. He acknowledged that he’d forgotten about it when I discussed my theatre plans earlier this week, but said that he had already plans in place for the 2nd April at the time I booked my theatre ticket and did mention this to me a couple of weeks ago, so his plans have priority. I kind of see his point but I’m also gutted, I don’t often go out and I’ve wasted the money on the theatre ticket now. I find it very hard not to be upset with DH. We don’t have childcare available unfortunately.

Has he spent any money on his plans with DF yet?

as he did clear it that you could go tonight. So he either needs to enjoy a quiet beer at home with DF or rearrange for another night, to my mind, as HE messed up when YOU pre-checked before booking.

mis-communication @Cinai2, could he invite friend to your home to spend time?

He'd forgotten his plans, it led to a double booking, he cancels, simple as.

He didn’t put it on the calendar and money has been spent on your outing. It seems obvious to me that your event takes priority.

if it’s not on the shared calendar, it isn’t reserved in our household. It takes two seconds from a cell phone to add so it’s not a burden.

And you haven't wasted money. He owes you the money if you don't go because you made a decision based on his latest communication.

I mistakenly add that UABU when I meant the opposite. I think he’s messed up so he could have his friend over as others mentioned.

Apparently this friend is also inviting other friends along (but DH doesn’t know them) and therefore time/location can’t be changed…I did ask whether it can be moved to tomorrow but he said it involves more than one person.

His mistake he rescheduled. He gave you the ok to book so you’ve spent out so your plan trumps his. He caused the miscommunication why should you be the one to miss out. Fuck that

This.

You checked this week. He told you either. You've made a cash outlay.

He needs to alter his plans.

Well the friend can see the other people and your DH can catch up another time.

You have bought tickets. Are you going alone?

He buys you a theatre ticket for tomorrow ?

Tough shit, HE made a mistake, HE doesn't get priority.

Don't accept this, he has no respect for you or your time if he thinks he can fuck off out after messing up.

you can usually change theatre tickets on your account these day - eg. Exchange for a different night. Not sure if that’s helpful. Do you have a wall calendar? We have one to avoid this exact situation and still double book!

He’d already told you his plans and you agreed to them.

then you both forgot.

sounds like you need a shared calendar and chalk this one down to experience. Try to sell your ticket in as his plans were made and communicated first

In that case he should just give it a miss and schedule another time to see his friend where they can actually catch up. He doesn’t even know the other people so he doesn’t need to tag along when he already told you that Thursday was fine for your plans. He can’t be that excited about it anyway if he didn’t bother to remember when you asked.

Was it a discussion or was he literally like tough luck I take priority?

Agree with others, if it's not possible to change the tickets then he is the one who has to cancel his plans as it was entirely his mistake and his plans seem much more cancellable. Or he arranges a babysitter.

Oh, that that's ridiculous

You booked a theatre ticket and you checked that it was okay

He can't go out with them or he pays for a babysitter. That's it.

I’d ask him to pay for the ticket, but you’re probably right to honour his engagement.

Accidents happen

I dont understand - he's the one who made the error, PLUS you've spent money on the ticket...why do either of you think you're the one who needs to be cancelling??

Babysitter?

If he had forgotten about it, it cant be that important to him. He forfeited his priority

I dont knownwhy, but i dont believe this.

Whatever happens, use this as a reason to get a proper system in place. Like a pp, it has to be in the shared calendar. When I make plans, I check that calendar and vice versa for dh. Not there..
Plans aren't real or binding.

YwouldBU to not go.

You checked, and he agreed, so you booked.
Not your fault he is incapable of using a calendar / diary.

However, YAbothBU to not have a joint calendar so you can both see, at a glance, if the other one is home / out when either of you are considering going somewhere.

I'd also suggest sorting yourself out some babysitting options so that he can arrange cover for himself if he messes up again.

He should get you a ticket for another showing. It is harder to change plans involving multiple people. He forgot when you checked with him. A mistake that can be easily fixed if he can get you another ticket so you still get to go out too.