AIBU to feel smothered by someone I have been seeing?

[Theopdore]

I came out of a 20 year marriage 3 years ago. 2 children aged 5 and 8. I have dated in the past but nothing serious. However I met somebody recently and we got on so well etc but I feel completely smothered. He wants to be with me every second I don’t have the kids and I just want some time to myself. He has invited himself over the Easter holiday as the kids are away with their dad and I just feel exhausted at the thought of it.

his background is he has no children. Still lives with his mum and was previously cheated on because apparently he was too nice?

in the mornings I am very busy getting the kids to school/getting to work etc. if I don’t answer within an hour he messages again and rings me and I just don’t need that.

he is a nice guy but maybe I just don’t want a relationship? Or is he too clingy?

we have been seeing each other for around 6 months.

Borrow a huge dog. Park it outside. Job done.

Block him on tik tok and anything else. Persistent fucker isn’t he?

You have yold him to leave you alone and he is still not respecting your boundaries. Be wary OP.

Arm yourself with information that should have said. I changed it to ‘protect yourself’

He is a textbook manipulator. Making himself out to be a victim so you will feel sorry for him. You cannot fall for it.

Okay that's not normal behaviour. 😐

He wants your house OP!

Well done for getting rid.

You would be unreasonable to stay in the relationship.
He is pissing you off. Feeling smothered is surely also a turn off romantically and sexually.
He hasn't listened when you have expressed it. He hasn't tried to compromise. He has continued to ignore your feelings and carry on pissing you off.
Wah! It's annoying just hearing about it!

Huge red flags, I’d dump him tbh.

My first thought was that he seems very young. Now I've seen his text, I'm thinking he's early 20s, max?

He is 38

Seen update.
Great result
Enjoy chilling without the annoying prick

He best off with his mummy

This is very concerning behaviour - VERY !

please take your, and your kids safety a tad more seriously

Dear X
I’ve thought long and hard and have come to the conclusion that this relationship isn’t working for me. I need my space and will not change my mind on this, so please don’t try to make me. I know that you will struggle with this decision, so that’s why it’s best for both of us if I block you now. If you turn up at mine, I will call the police. Sorry, but that’s the impact that your neediness has had on me. Best of luck for the future.

No, my love, no it doesn't seem sane and reasonable!

il b here waiting for you wenever ur ready,
is a veiled threat.

@Theopdore I don't mean to add to your stress at this point, but, for future reference, you seriously need to upgrade your ideas about what is acceptable behaviour and what isn't. 💐

Why on earth would he know your kids school ?? You have known for a while that he was unsafe and a bit dangerous yet revealed that ?

lesson learned hopefully?

My goodness @Theopdore What a day you have had! Well done for getting rid of him, he is proving he is a trademarked "Nice Guy".

Hopefully his oh so creepy message on Tiktok is the last you will hear from him, if it isn't and he starts appearing places or continues to call from private IDs, phone 101. I'm not a gambling woman, but I'd bet this one has form.

Ach, tell this needy child to piss off. That's too much. Imagine thinking someone's lying when they say they've got flu, ffs... You don't need this nuisance.

Red flag. Please don’t let this make you believe you don’t want a relationship. You just don’t want an unhealthy relationship.

His message to you is totally insane - I assumed you were joking when you said it was ok ? Please tell me you were joking

Dude has been in the house, likely @Theopdore has school photos of her children wouldn't you think?

Guy turns up at her house when he wants to, he has probably stalked her from the bushes on the school run.

This is not a sane and reasonable message.
He is pressing you to talk to him face to face.
He frames your break up with him as you ‘struggling with the kids’ and needing some space.
He says he will be waiting for you.
He then adds some emotional manipulation in (heart broken) and some expectation (you can message whenever you want, he hopes to speak to you).

Do not reply, anything you say is giving him an opening back in. He is not accepting what you are saying.

The next stage will be him getting nasty - bet on it. When it dawns on him that he's not getting his own way and you're not backing down, his messages (on whatever platform) will more than likely become abusive, Just be aware.

This is almost always the next step for these men. They get angry when they realise they can't worm their way back in.

Just see it as confirmation, when it happens, that you did exactly the right thing by getting rid of him!

Tough shit. OP doesn't have to give him anything. He has way overstepped and he feels entitled to be at her place when he wants. She has to shut that shit down, not reinforce it. She owes him nothing.

She's doing it this way because she's afraid of his response. That's called the gift of fear and she's listening. He doesn't take no for an answer. He's calling her from unknown numbers. He came over after her text.