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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be fed up with him always eating my food?

329 replies

DarlVader · 30/03/2026 20:48

Been seeing someone for about 12 weeks, he told me he had weight loss surgery a few years ago which makes it difficult for him to eat big meals. Fair enough. Issue is that he CONSTANTLY says he’ll “just have a tiny bit of” whatever im eating. Its driving me nuts. If we decide to get a takeaway he’ll say he won’t get one for himself but he’ll have “a tiny bit” of mine. If we get fish and chips he’ll “just have a tiny bit” of mine … but it’s never a tiny bit, its almost half everytime.

We went to cinema a few weeks ago, he said he’d just “have a few” of my popcorn … he ate more of it than I did. I swear most of it was gone before the film started.

So last week I snapped. We went to Lincoln and I saw some lovely looking sausage rolls in the window of a bakery and said I was going to buy one. He said “ooo yes they do look nice! I won’t get a full one though, I’ll just have a tiny bit of yours”. I snapped “no sorry, you’ll have to get your own, I’m not going to stand in the street dividing up a sausage roll”. He seemed suprised and said “oh! Ok … well I suppose I could get one and have half now and half later?” So I said “do what you want, it’s a sausage roll for gods sake”.

Rest of the day was a bit awkward! But I’ve had enough of it, it’s ridiculous.

He’s just asked if I fancy going to York this week and getting a Yorkshire pudding wrap. I replied “yes, one each” so he said “well I don’t know if I could eat a full one” so I said “well no then, let’s not bother”.

AIBU here?? I’m missing just being able to go out and eat/snack a normal couple!

OP posts:
FlyingPandas · 30/03/2026 20:52

Sounds like an attempt to just avoid paying for anything, OP. As well as being hugely irritating, he's also being tight. Throw this one back, as the saying goes.

CeffylCoch · 30/03/2026 20:55

Do you point out that he’s eaten half your food and not a tiny bit? This would really annoy me too

tnorfotkcab · 30/03/2026 20:56

Nah, sod him..

Serene135 · 30/03/2026 20:57

Does he ever offer to pay for the food you are sharing? Do you think it’s possible that he wants the food but just doesn’t want to pay for it? 💐

ScrimMN · 30/03/2026 20:58

Yeah OP this would drive me insane..

why can’t he just buy smaller versions of what you get? (Lite bite meals at fish and chip shops ect..) or just save what he doesn’t eat for later!!

Catcatcatcatcat · 30/03/2026 21:00

I don’t share food so this relationship would have ended the first time he decided he could help himself to my grub.

I would bin him, it would drive me nuts.

newornotnew · 30/03/2026 21:01

Potentially a food issue related to not wanting to gain weight again?

You're fine to set a boundary.

BewleyBear · 30/03/2026 21:03

No thanks.

Createausername1970 · 30/03/2026 21:03

Would definitely annoy me, especially if I was paying for it.

I guess you could say "You buy it and eat your little bit and I will finish what you can't eat" so you are putting the cost back on to him.

But to be honest, if you are having to start playing silly buggers to constantly avoid an annoying situation, then it's probably time to call it a day.

Edited to say - why is he suggesting dates that revolve around going somewhere to get a specific food item if he can't eat it? The more I think about it the more it seems he actually has big issues around food and it's never going to be "normal" where food is concerned and as that is a fundamental part of a long term relationship, I would definitely walk away from this situation.

Everybodysinthehousetonight · 30/03/2026 21:04

My mum is like this , always refuses then consumes. Sometimes in secret. It's disordered eating unfortunately. It drives me crazy but had a negative influence on my life long relationship with food.
It doesn't sound like you're that into him anyway. Give him the flick.

lazyarse123 · 30/03/2026 21:05

My dh tried that. We got McDonald's and he didn't get fries cos he only wanted a few. A few that worked out about half. So next time he said it I replied that he might only want a few but I wanted a full portion. Doesn't say it any more, not that we get McDonald's these days.

BashfulClam · 30/03/2026 21:06

Oh that would drive me insane. My husband had never tried Chinese food when we met so I once ordered a take away he tried some then got a fork and started digging in I just raised my eyebrow and said ‘I’ll dish up some for you bit next time you order your own!’ I hate when people want to share but take massive amounts of the dish.

DalmationalAnthem · 30/03/2026 21:06

Are you sure he's not a Labrador?

Hell would freeze over before I allowed some man to rob the food off my plate

You've now told him you won't be doling out your food to him yet he's still pushing to go to a food venue and eat yours. Ick.

NotMyRealAccount · 30/03/2026 21:19

"You don't think you could eat a whole one? That's OK, nobody's going to make you finish it. But I do want a whole one, not a piece of one."

I'm quite relaxed about sharing food generally, but only if it's a reciprocal arrangement and not someone cadging part of a single portion without offering anything in exchange.

ChocolateCinderToffee · 30/03/2026 21:24

Fuck that. I literally won't share a cake with my best friend (when she suggested it, I said 'Joey doesn't share food!'). How tiny can his appetite be FFS? One sausage roll?

JudyP · 30/03/2026 21:27

I would say to him that he may want a ‘tiny amount’ but YOU want a whole one so it’s up to him what he does! If everything else is wonderful I could maybe cope with this but that would really annoy me and would have to nip this behavior in the bud

TrashHeap · 30/03/2026 21:31

Get rid.

ReadingSoManyThreads · 30/03/2026 21:35
Episode 9 Joey GIF by Friends

Nope, bin him off, this would seriously piss me off. Not only with eating half of my food, but with me paying for all of it too.

atomeve · 30/03/2026 21:36

ReadingSoManyThreads · 30/03/2026 21:35

Nope, bin him off, this would seriously piss me off. Not only with eating half of my food, but with me paying for all of it too.

I trust this GIF came to mind for a lot of us!

And I heartily endorse it.

Parentofstudent · 30/03/2026 21:42

I’d just say. Sorry no, I don’t want to share, I’m quite hungry. Just buy yourself one and save half for later. And repeat. Or just say to him at a time when not buying food that you don’t like sharing food in this way, perhaps he can get used to buying a whole portion, cutting in half and saving for later.

NoWordForFluffy · 30/03/2026 21:43

Catcatcatcatcat · 30/03/2026 21:00

I don’t share food so this relationship would have ended the first time he decided he could help himself to my grub.

I would bin him, it would drive me nuts.

joey doesnt share food GIF

Same here.

Dump him, OP, this relationship is a non-starter.

NoWordForFluffy · 30/03/2026 21:44

ReadingSoManyThreads · 30/03/2026 21:35

Nope, bin him off, this would seriously piss me off. Not only with eating half of my food, but with me paying for all of it too.

Oops. You got in first!

Aniceempirebiscuitandacupoftea · 30/03/2026 21:49

Ha ha, we all know what Joey did at the end of the episode though.

NamechangebumpforMandy · 30/03/2026 21:51

There’s a Ben Elton sketch along the same lines. He asks his GF if she wants to order chips and she says no. When they arrive she asks for a few and he says no. “I bought these chips for me. I want all of them.” She then says she only wants one or two. “Then buy a portion. EAT TWO, THROW THE REST AWAY.”

BettyBoh · 30/03/2026 21:53

I think he may have some eating issues. If he just has a bit of your’s he can justify it to himself by exaggerating that he didn’t have any (because he didn’t buy) whilst having half.

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