AIBU to be fed up with him always eating my food?

[DarlVader]

Been seeing someone for about 12 weeks, he told me he had weight loss surgery a few years ago which makes it difficult for him to eat big meals. Fair enough. Issue is that he CONSTANTLY says he’ll “just have a tiny bit of” whatever im eating. Its driving me nuts. If we decide to get a takeaway he’ll say he won’t get one for himself but he’ll have “a tiny bit” of mine. If we get fish and chips he’ll “just have a tiny bit” of mine … but it’s never a tiny bit, its almost half everytime.

We went to cinema a few weeks ago, he said he’d just “have a few” of my popcorn … he ate more of it than I did. I swear most of it was gone before the film started.

So last week I snapped. We went to Lincoln and I saw some lovely looking sausage rolls in the window of a bakery and said I was going to buy one. He said “ooo yes they do look nice! I won’t get a full one though, I’ll just have a tiny bit of yours”. I snapped “no sorry, you’ll have to get your own, I’m not going to stand in the street dividing up a sausage roll”. He seemed suprised and said “oh! Ok … well I suppose I could get one and have half now and half later?” So I said “do what you want, it’s a sausage roll for gods sake”.

Rest of the day was a bit awkward! But I’ve had enough of it, it’s ridiculous.

He’s just asked if I fancy going to York this week and getting a Yorkshire pudding wrap. I replied “yes, one each” so he said “well I don’t know if I could eat a full one” so I said “well no then, let’s not bother”.

AIBU here?? I’m missing just being able to go out and eat/snack a normal couple!

It would be so annoying. I think he is trying to be a cheapskate. It would be a huge turn off for me.

That is very rude.

There would need to be ample space under my patio, if I was going out with this guy 😁
Me and food sharing ain’t a thing.

Please don’t go to York with this pillock. Just end it now.

I don’t know. I used to have the roast beef ones at a chain pub 20+ years ago now (they stopped doing them when I was pregnant with my eldest who will be 21 in 3 months). Then at a festival I went to a few years ago, they had a stall doing pork ones which were amazing.

But I haven’t been to York and had ones like the op was talking about, so I don’t know if anyone does other combos. I presume you could have meat-free…. I just don’t know if they do an alternative to go inside.

I had an ex like this. Everytime we ordered food he would say l"et's share a portion" or if we went for a 3 course meal he would want to share a starter and dessert. He was a controlling arsehole though and only had an issue with ME eating food. If we were eating dinner he would eat so fast then swipe his hand over his plate and say "DONE" expecting me to be finished too when I still had half my food left. It drove me mad.

This would give me the ick

I hate people like this! 🤬 I'm with Joey on friends I don't share my food with anybody you want food order your own

12 weeks it should be a fun, easy stage of a relationship. Not this! Massive massive ick OP, throw this one back!

So in 12 weeks he's never treated you to a single meal...and keeps taking half of yours every time. Does he pay for anything else, e.g trips, cinema tickets?

He sounds selfish and boring. If you are paying for your food that he eats half of, what does he pay for? I’ve got the ick on your behalf.

From the OP I just thought he was a bit cheeky. But the update about him saying you’ll put on weight if you eat all your meal so he has to ‘save’ you by eating some of it?!?!? No effin way, that’s really really rude. Bin him. (And I love a Yorkshire pudding wrap and absolutely wouldn’t share one)

This sounds very much like disordered eating. If he ordered something for himself then he would have to admit how much he actually consumes but instead he chooses to hide his consumption behind the vague ‘tiny bit’.

Firstly, you need to own your role in this. Why did you choose to swallow your frustrations for so long? You are not being unreasonable in wanting to eat all of the food you purchase. If there’s to be a next time, be straight with him. Tell him if he wants to eat something then he should order his own food, it’s unfair for you to eat less of something you order. If he’s worried about waste then he can always eat it later. Don’t offer to eat his leftovers, the goal is not to participate in the game he plays around his food intake.

I have the ick on your behalf, performative dainty eating is the opposite of manly. It is disordered eating, the constant talk of food is a huge sign.

Sounds like he didn’t change his mindset even after going through the surgery. Friend at work had stomach staples and lost the weight but is still the same junk food obsessed person so can’t miss out on her treats and grazes on junk constantly. She is now very fat again. He needs to not eat sausage rolls and popcorn if he is only eating small amounts of food. But he can’t miss out!

OP, this guy has serious food issues, and unfortunately it’s not going to stop just because you point it out to him. As you rightly say, it’s self delusion, performative and money-saving, and saying that he’s saving you from putting on weight is just rude and also justifying his unreasonable behaviour. If you are a normal weight, leave him before food becomes a big and abnormal issue in your life too, because clearly it’s a real “thing” for him, and he isn’t suddenly going to change.

I think i speak for most of us when I say we very much want to know what penis portions are, and what was SiL's drama over them?

Penis portions are where the man is served a full plate of, say, a roast chicken dinner with all the trimmings whilst the woman is served half a slice of chicken breast, a potato, a carrot and a dribble of gravy.

My DH does this to a less extreme degree, I might ask him if he wants a bag of crisps and he’ll say no I’ll just have a couple of yours. And I reply no that’s not what I offered and I’m not sharing!

If you want the relationship to continue, you need to say it properly and calmly rather than being a bit passive aggressive. So instead of what you said, say, “OK, we’ll go for the Yorkshire pudding wrap, but listen, you’re going to have to start getting your own portion, because you might only want half, but I want a whole one. It’s ok if you throw the other half away or keep it for later, but I want mine to myself “. Just say it matter of fact without annoyance and resentment. Because if you’ve so far acted like you’re fine with it, then it is a bit unreasonable to expect him to know you don’t like it, isn’t it, to be fair? It’s only grounds for a break up if you have that conversation and he pushes back and still insists on eating half of yours.

So to those that use ''Penis Portion'' is this to counterbalance the endless women whose sole topic of conversation is their weight loss 'Journey' and what new weight loss fixation they have or injection they want to use then I am sick to the back teeth of women's sole focus in life is how much weight they want to lose and everything around

Yes I am well aware men use it and the one OP wont seem to shut up about about I but I am yet to personally meet a man that uses it, or aleast if they do dont hear them talk about it where I hear from women about it before they have even told me their own name

Absolutely not!!!! Hes a tight arse for one and two, no one wasn't to share food especially with essentially a stranger. This would of been a striaght no thank you from me on the first date. Your more patient from me for letting it go on so long. Also if he wants to split food he can pay for it since he is eating majority of it anyway

I've had weight loss surgery. If we go out for example and say grab a burger from a van or a bacon roll or a sausage roll or whatever, I get my own and then eat the rest later! Cheeky sod! Also, he'll know exactly how much will fill him up, he won't need to 'study' the menu, he can glance at it if he's looking for a healthy option

I'd have a sit down conversation with him. Say exactly what you've said here, that you want to get to the root of the issue.

As someone who has had weight loss surgery, I've learnt to very happily waste food. It is a mind shift from finishing everything on your plate. Does it cost me more? Yep! But I've learnt to ignore that. It's still less than the cost of what I used to spend on food.

I made a firm decision not to avoid socialising around food. I'd rather still go out with friend and order two entree (and maybe not eat much of either), than miss out on having fun.

Perhaps his weight loss journey has been such a big focus on him, that he now needs someone to firmly point out the effect he's now having on others, including his comments about your weight, that's not on.

If he reflects and changes, great, if he doesn't, bin him.

Isn’t it just a larger portion of food (like man size)