AIBU to be fed up with him always eating my food?

[DarlVader]

Been seeing someone for about 12 weeks, he told me he had weight loss surgery a few years ago which makes it difficult for him to eat big meals. Fair enough. Issue is that he CONSTANTLY says he’ll “just have a tiny bit of” whatever im eating. Its driving me nuts. If we decide to get a takeaway he’ll say he won’t get one for himself but he’ll have “a tiny bit” of mine. If we get fish and chips he’ll “just have a tiny bit” of mine … but it’s never a tiny bit, its almost half everytime.

We went to cinema a few weeks ago, he said he’d just “have a few” of my popcorn … he ate more of it than I did. I swear most of it was gone before the film started.

So last week I snapped. We went to Lincoln and I saw some lovely looking sausage rolls in the window of a bakery and said I was going to buy one. He said “ooo yes they do look nice! I won’t get a full one though, I’ll just have a tiny bit of yours”. I snapped “no sorry, you’ll have to get your own, I’m not going to stand in the street dividing up a sausage roll”. He seemed suprised and said “oh! Ok … well I suppose I could get one and have half now and half later?” So I said “do what you want, it’s a sausage roll for gods sake”.

Rest of the day was a bit awkward! But I’ve had enough of it, it’s ridiculous.

He’s just asked if I fancy going to York this week and getting a Yorkshire pudding wrap. I replied “yes, one each” so he said “well I don’t know if I could eat a full one” so I said “well no then, let’s not bother”.

AIBU here?? I’m missing just being able to go out and eat/snack a normal couple!

And this OP is when you tap out of the relationship.
he sounds annoying as shit, manipulative, cheap and a fun sponge what the hell are you wasting your time for? He’d better be an amazing lover or you really have wasted 12 weeks of your life 😆

He replied saying “it’s not important to me either 😂” so I said “stop going on about it then, I don’t want to obsess over food all the time. I’ll get what I want, you get what you want but I don’t need to hear about it”

Yeah you have the ick now

I’ve had weight loss surgery and even I can’t stand all the performative I’m too full !!! Just order your own and have it for lunch the next day win win

Also he doesn’t sound like he’s changed his mindset about food so he won’t stop just taking a bit of yours if anything it will get worse

He sounds both utterly food obsessed and tight with money. Neither sound terribly good qualities in a partner.

I'd bet my house this isn't his only annoying habit.

But we don’t know where OP lives, her bf could be planning this trip just to get a wrap and they might live in London or the Scottish highlands 😂.

Can you give us a rough idea OP or at least let us know how far he wants you to travel?

I did once plan a visit to a great Mexican restaurant in Edinburgh that I’d been to a few times on other trips, we were going for a short break anyway though and not travelling over 100 miles just to have a meal!

@DarlVader he’s really irritating, are you sure he’s just not tight with money?

It’s just been 12 weeks and he’s already fucking annoying, bin him off!

I think you're fantastic with your responses to him! Great boundaries. I'd be tempted to invoice him for all the half-meals he's stolen from you too 😂

after reading your replies, I vote to bin him off.
If he’s this annoying after only 12 weeks, imagine how horrific it’ll be after years of his nonsense. Even I’M getting the ick!!

Why do people think everyone wants to hear about their weightloss obession?

This!

I think you're fantastic with your responses to him!

Well yes, I think OP is quite pleased with how she's tackled this and find it a bit disingenuous that she's doing the AIBU about it.

How could anyone think you've been unreasonable @DarlVader?

Of course they do small portions, they're called starters.

Dump him. Life is too short for such nonsense.

Why are you with him? He sounds awful!!

I'm curious.. did he save half the sausage roll for later? 🤣

I’m sorry I think you taking the food back for your child and switching plates is wonderful. Who does stuff like that?

Could be too late if you've got the ick. But otherwise he needs to understand that just because he wants half portions doesn't mean you do. There are plenty of ways to have small, light or low calory options that don't require him eating your meal. He could order an entree/starter. Get the soup or salad. Order a full size meal but only eat as much as he wants. But he needs to stop making a him issue into a problem for you.

It's also the "I'll just have a bit of yours". So presumptive - what if I don't want to give you a tiny bit of mine????

Most portions these days when you're eating out aren't even that big so to constantly have someone scrounging bites off you is definitely ick behaviour.

Also - if he doesn't like eating, why would he even suggest going somewhere to eat a specific thing??? He is basically saying he wants you to take him to get a Yorkshire pudding roll so he can taste it because he's too tight to buy one for himself. No thanks.

Once in a while, fair enough. But not regularly!

I'd find his food dramas exhausting so would bin him off. Nobody eats my fish and chips.

Yep. With no thought to what the other person actually gets left with.

ordering fish and chips- i don’t want much, I’ll just have a fish, and a few of your chips. Now I’m veggie so I can only have chips- if she has a fish and some of my chips, and let’s face it, “a few” is usually a good handful at least, I am left with a miserable tiny portion while she has a decent meal.

i agree it sounds like disordered eating. He probably thinks if he doesn’t order his own it doesn’t count, and/or he genuinely thinks he’ll have a “tiny bit” and then eats more. Much like dh who only has “one biscuit”, but then has “one biscuit” 15 times and doesn’t understand that he’s eaten the whole packet, because he “only had one”.

it sounds complicated.

Funny, what I hate is people doing it without permission.
Just say laughingly, "Oh, no, I'm not falling for that again. Get your own." And next time, hold the popcorn on the other side of you.
I once went out to dinner with a few people, and I was the only one ordering dessert - panna cotta, which I rarely get, but adore. And I announced to the table, that I wasn't giving tastes to anyone.

As someone who has struggled with disordered eating in the past and clawed my way out of the hole with professional help, I was going to say that the first few times he did it it might have been him genuinely (and maybe not even consciously) using a coping strategy to get around his issues with food. BUT after you explained the problem a few times he should have been self-aware enough to adjust his behaviour.

Then I read this follow up: Another thing that annoys me though is when I resist him taking my food he tries telling me I’ll end up putting on weight and my verdict has changed to DUMP HIM.

Dump him. Reminds me of an auntie when l lived at home. Mum or dad would go and get fish and chips Sat lunchtime . She would usually be at our house then and was always asked if she wanted anything. Always said no but that she would just have a chip nutty . She even buttered the bread ready and guess whose chips she took from and it wasn't 5 or 6 chips. Still feel the rage now and tink it even left me with food sharing issues , in my sixties now still hate it.