AIBU to be fed up with him always eating my food?

[DarlVader]

Been seeing someone for about 12 weeks, he told me he had weight loss surgery a few years ago which makes it difficult for him to eat big meals. Fair enough. Issue is that he CONSTANTLY says he’ll “just have a tiny bit of” whatever im eating. Its driving me nuts. If we decide to get a takeaway he’ll say he won’t get one for himself but he’ll have “a tiny bit” of mine. If we get fish and chips he’ll “just have a tiny bit” of mine … but it’s never a tiny bit, its almost half everytime.

We went to cinema a few weeks ago, he said he’d just “have a few” of my popcorn … he ate more of it than I did. I swear most of it was gone before the film started.

So last week I snapped. We went to Lincoln and I saw some lovely looking sausage rolls in the window of a bakery and said I was going to buy one. He said “ooo yes they do look nice! I won’t get a full one though, I’ll just have a tiny bit of yours”. I snapped “no sorry, you’ll have to get your own, I’m not going to stand in the street dividing up a sausage roll”. He seemed suprised and said “oh! Ok … well I suppose I could get one and have half now and half later?” So I said “do what you want, it’s a sausage roll for gods sake”.

Rest of the day was a bit awkward! But I’ve had enough of it, it’s ridiculous.

He’s just asked if I fancy going to York this week and getting a Yorkshire pudding wrap. I replied “yes, one each” so he said “well I don’t know if I could eat a full one” so I said “well no then, let’s not bother”.

AIBU here?? I’m missing just being able to go out and eat/snack a normal couple!

He has constant food noise that he is projecting onto you @DarlVader I would get the ick too.

I've had gastric surgery and can't eat a full portion. But my partner was aware of that before I had surgery. We talked about how we would manage food when we were out. General we get a main and a side. Or I get an entree and he gets a main and he has what I don't eat.

I've had a few friends who do this, although they've not had surgery, they were just freeloaders! One used to go for meals, not order anything but get a plate and take some of everyone else's and she'd end up with more food than anyone who bought a meal.

I do wonder how long ago this surgery was, or if it's real, as I know a couple of people who had that surgery and they definitely couldn't eat half portions for a long time.

Yeah, it would drive me nuts too.

Throw this one back in the pond. He sounds like an irritating child 😡

Is he a great boyfriend other than this ?

You really are a delight

Off the topic but can’t see the draw of labradors. Very boring fat smelly dogs with very little personality. And a man like a Labrador (boak 🤢)

You've been too patient...after a couple of times I would've said, you buy it and eat what you can I'll have the rest...if what he leaves you is a tiny bit...then tell him well you might aswell finish it now...I'll get my own 😂 stop entertaining him

Why are you with him? Shut the door behind you Joe👋

He sounds like my mother 😩 I couldn’t bear to be with a man like this!

Oh god no I couldn’t deal with this. He’s just obsessed isn’t he? I love how you’re letting him know how you feel and not just letting this annoying behaviour slip. Not surprised you’ve got the ick- are you going to end it?

My SIL (80) has always had issues around food that's allowed / food that isn't. She'll order and pay for a salad but she can't order chips because they are a ' bad thing' . But she wants to eat chips so she'll say " I'll just order a salad and I'll share your chips". No you won't ( especially as she doesn't like vinegar and will expect me to avoid it so she can eat my chips).

And you're never going to put on weight because some greedy cheeky sod is eating half of your food either.

This whole post/thread could so easily be a reverse.
Far more women behave like this OP’s soon-to-be-ex does

Greedy tight arse. See how he reacts to you explicitly refusing to share. If he's fine about it and stops constantly asking for yours then he's maybe worth a chance. If he keeps asking to share or gets huffy, throw him back.

I’d definitely be concerned with his comments about you putting on weight. My ex-bf (who I have referenced on MN before as he was a prick in many ways) had issues with food, which was nothing to do with any weight problems he’d ever had but I suspect something to do with past trauma of both his parents suffering with depression (but that’s a whole other story). Anyway, he would eat like a sparrow and lecture me about weight when I would be eating a completely normal portion of food. I was a size 6. He became very controlling and coercive further down the line so the early behaviour about food was a red flag, looking back.

Joey don't share food 😂 IYKYK

She lives near York. It's in the posts.

Why are you with such a massive twat?.

Do you go all the way to Cornwall for a pasty, too? Sorry, couldn’t resist!

He’s tight. That seems about the long & short of it. What a turn off.

Essentially hes the food equivalent of a dry drunk
He hasnt tackled the underlying reasons for his eating disorder
Usually emotional immaturity/ trauma/ use of food to control etc

This is not going to get any better
At 12 weeks in he is already making unpleasant ( boundary crossing) remarks about what you eat, its manipulative,controlling and hes trying to project his issues onto to you .
Throw this one back

They always push to far and then it’s hard to recover from 🤣 now is your time to either stop seeing him or everytime you do refuse to share. I wouldn’t want to share my food either infact everytime me an my ex ordered from anywhere we’d get two meals

Exactly this

Is he stingey in other ways?

I had a boyfriend who used to say we’ll get one portion and share. No we won’t, I’ll choose what I’m having and you can keep your hands off it.

Deal breaker.