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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be fed up with him always eating my food?

329 replies

DarlVader · 30/03/2026 20:48

Been seeing someone for about 12 weeks, he told me he had weight loss surgery a few years ago which makes it difficult for him to eat big meals. Fair enough. Issue is that he CONSTANTLY says he’ll “just have a tiny bit of” whatever im eating. Its driving me nuts. If we decide to get a takeaway he’ll say he won’t get one for himself but he’ll have “a tiny bit” of mine. If we get fish and chips he’ll “just have a tiny bit” of mine … but it’s never a tiny bit, its almost half everytime.

We went to cinema a few weeks ago, he said he’d just “have a few” of my popcorn … he ate more of it than I did. I swear most of it was gone before the film started.

So last week I snapped. We went to Lincoln and I saw some lovely looking sausage rolls in the window of a bakery and said I was going to buy one. He said “ooo yes they do look nice! I won’t get a full one though, I’ll just have a tiny bit of yours”. I snapped “no sorry, you’ll have to get your own, I’m not going to stand in the street dividing up a sausage roll”. He seemed suprised and said “oh! Ok … well I suppose I could get one and have half now and half later?” So I said “do what you want, it’s a sausage roll for gods sake”.

Rest of the day was a bit awkward! But I’ve had enough of it, it’s ridiculous.

He’s just asked if I fancy going to York this week and getting a Yorkshire pudding wrap. I replied “yes, one each” so he said “well I don’t know if I could eat a full one” so I said “well no then, let’s not bother”.

AIBU here?? I’m missing just being able to go out and eat/snack a normal couple!

OP posts:
CalmTheFuckDownMargaret · 30/03/2026 22:31

Not on, not every time. He’s being selfish because he’s taking half your portion every time without caring that you’re going without. He’s obviously had issues with food if he’s had weight loss surgery so I’m wondering if this is his only way of getting to enjoy everything he wants without commuting to full portions. However, those issues are now becoming yours to deal with. Keep telling him that it won’t be ‘just a bite’ - it never is - and that you don’t want him taking half of everything you want to eat. The guy has a food relationship problem to sort if he can’t watch you eating without being greedy enough to need half himself. Oh, and him trying to get you to start thinking negatively about your own weight and portions is absolutely unacceptable. I’d end it after 12 weeks given this is him at his best.

FourEyesGood · 30/03/2026 22:32

PinkNailPolish2026 · 30/03/2026 22:28

Urgh my SIL did this after weightloss surgery until she tried to have some of my children’s food, that crossed a line for me and I scraped the food she’d taken back into my child’s fish and chips tray. It wasn’t my finest moment but I was furious at her assuming she could take “a tiny bit” which ended up about half of my child’s meal. She was told in no uncertain terms never to touch or ask for any of my or my children’s food again unless it was leftovers. She never spoke to me for 2 years. I won’t mention the drama over her penis portions when she did decide to speak to me again 🤣

I’m glad you’re not putting up with this man’s rudeness and tightness. He should either bring his own packed lunch or buy his own food.

I really don’t want to derail the thread, but please could you elaborate on ‘penis portions’?

OP, dump this one. He’ll only get worse.

NorthFacingGardener · 30/03/2026 22:33

I think you have the ick… I even have it on your behalf. I’m not sure this is going to improve.

Shoemadlady · 30/03/2026 22:34

He’s doing it to avoid paying, he’s tight. Throw him back immediately!

DarlVader · 30/03/2026 22:38

FourEyesGood · 30/03/2026 22:32

I really don’t want to derail the thread, but please could you elaborate on ‘penis portions’?

OP, dump this one. He’ll only get worse.

I also want to know what penis portions are so feel free to derail 😂

OP posts:
yikesss · 30/03/2026 22:38

FourEyesGood · 30/03/2026 22:32

I really don’t want to derail the thread, but please could you elaborate on ‘penis portions’?

OP, dump this one. He’ll only get worse.

Another vote here for elaboration on the penis portions please 😊

Meteorite87 · 30/03/2026 22:40

yikesss · 30/03/2026 22:38

Another vote here for elaboration on the penis portions please 😊

Relieved I wasn't the only person that wondered 😅

BatFeminist · 30/03/2026 22:42

Penis portion is a bigger portion for the man.

Anonanonanonagain · 30/03/2026 22:43

Stingy tight bastard. Dump him. Tell him you need to lose your recently acquired 12 stone of useless weight. I have the ick on your behalf.

SalmonOnFinnCrisp · 30/03/2026 22:46

Dump this clown immediately
I just couldn't ... its fanny shrivelling

MarchUsername · 30/03/2026 22:46

Part of having WLS is knowing you have to pay for food you can’t eat sometimes! I can eat different amounts each day and it changes, so I order in accordance with that. Sometimes some gets wasted, or eaten as leftovers or my husband polishes it off. This is so cheeky of him!

FamingolosForDays · 30/03/2026 22:47

Nope, definitely chuck this one back OP!

DarlVader · 30/03/2026 22:48

He’s just messaged me asking if I’m still wanting to go to York - because if so he’s going to study the menu to see if they do small portions. I’ve replied saying to do what he needs to do but I don’t want to hear about it as it’s not important to me. Yeah I think I’ve got the ick

OP posts:
Dalmationday · 30/03/2026 22:48

Gives me the ick

Vaxtable · 30/03/2026 22:49

Next time he says I will just have a bit of yours I would give him 6 chips and a tiny tiny piece of fish, then say that’s your bit and eat the rest

ILoveDaffodills · 30/03/2026 22:50

Tillow4ever · 30/03/2026 22:10

Just to say, a Yorkshire pudding wrap is food of the gods. Hot roast beef ones are the best, but pork works too.

This has me wanting to go to York now. Damnit.

Do they do veggie ones?

breakfast veggie ones?

Beesandhoney123 · 30/03/2026 22:51

No, this doesn't sound romantic. He sounds like a guest who has overstayed his welcome.

Also commenting on your figure is rather familiar. How can you enjoy your Yorkshire pudding wrap now? You'll have to go on your own:)

YerMotherWasAHamster · 30/03/2026 22:52

Sounds like his life still revolves around food.
Weight loss surgery won't help him.
He will regain it all in the end, assuming he had a sleeve or similar.

CocoaTea · 30/03/2026 22:52

Disordered eating that is not under control.

He had the surgery but his mental preoccupation with food has not been addressed.

PollyBell · 30/03/2026 22:53

Yeah i have given up eating with some friends who do the giggly i shouldn't i am on a diet so will just eat your food

The world has gone wright loss talk mad

PinkNailPolish2026 · 30/03/2026 22:54

FourEyesGood · 30/03/2026 22:32

I really don’t want to derail the thread, but please could you elaborate on ‘penis portions’?

OP, dump this one. He’ll only get worse.

My SIL always serves the males much larger portions than the females and it really annoys me. This will sound childish but she served DH much more than me so I swapped my plate with his and tucked in to prove a point. This is another of not my finest moments.

TheChosenTwo · 30/03/2026 23:00

I’m on WLI so don’t have a large appetite - 2 meals a day, maybe a snack if I need one. And have come to the realisation that I just need a lot less food than I was eating and used to eating. Some days I eat more, some days smaller portions. But I love eating out and never have I ever not ordered myself something and just expected to have a tiny bit of someone else’s! I just order myself something that matches my appetite so I have a good chance of finishing it.
He’s being weird and cheap around food, I think you should scrap York and the relationship, I’m happy sharing food but you’re not compatible and that’s absolute fine to decide.

Franjipanl8r · 30/03/2026 23:01

None of what you describe would be attractive IMO.

Bigcat25 · 30/03/2026 23:01

He really has an issue over leaving any food unfinished huh? Does he eat leftovers of food he's cooked at home?

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 30/03/2026 23:03

Eww! Definitely call it a day with this one. The comments about your weight alone would be enough for me to end it.