AIBU to ask my mum to stop WhatsApping baby photos?

[embroideredpanda]

My mother has been sending photos of my baby to distant family friends via WhatsApp. I’m uncomfortable with this as when baby was born I asked my parents not to share her on social media, including WhatsApp.

When I said to my mum that I didn’t like this she brushed me off and said she was just trying to cheer the person up.

This ticked me off as if my baby’s purpose to cheer people up or trumps her right to privacy.

AIBU? If you agree with me what would you say to my mum? My dad’s probably at it too.

Oh ffs you sound totally unhinged !!

I only have pictures that my son or daughter in law send me. I do not take them myself as I don't see the children often due to distance. None of my extended family get to see them unless I show them in person off my phone like people used to do with a photo!
I come from a difficult family set up and I am happy to do this to protect the children. I have had pictures of me as a child used and shared for purposes that I am not comfortable with so always ask the parents permission first as a matter of courtesy. It's a privilege to be sent the pictures in the first place not the right of a grandparent to see, have and share them.
Stand your ground on this and only do what you feel comfortable with because once pictures are out there you can't get them back or know who else will access them

Possibly. Having a psycho mother, being in care and bounced around foster homes will do that.
My eldest half sister had so many issues with our late mother, she was forced to no contact; made sure mum never knew the gender or name of her child and told mum tj FO when she was dying (self inflicted with substances abuses). My half-niece has never even seen a photo of her evil grandmother, as our middle sister removed them from all family photos and burned them.
Some parents deserve to be cut off permanently.

Same here!

I apologise for what some have termed the ”drip feed”. I did not set out to share that much. My baby doesn’t sleep well and I’m exhausted and have terrible judgement apparently.

I just wanted to clarify what I think is missing from my original post:

1. I am not sending my mother photos on WhatsApp. The photos were screenshotted (I assume?) from a secure app that we have invited family to view.
2. the person she shared with is not a relative. My mother was actually complaining about this person when showing me the WhatsApp chat.

Not sure i've been asked for consent when pics of my kids taking part in public events have appeared in newspapers. Not that i mind

It’s up to you if you don’t want photos of your baby on any social media - if your mother won’t resoect your wishes, don’t send her any photos and don’t allow her to take any photos either. Tell her it’s not up for discussion. Your baby, your rules!

Whether or not as a society in general we should be concerned about taking and sharing images of children on social media is not really the issue some folks on here are taking sides on. Nor is the fact that you feel you were neglected to some extent by your parents as a child. The issue is that your DM is brushing off your concerns and blatantly acting against your wishes concerning YOUR child. Time for a showdown. Tell her in no uncertain terms that it has to STOP. Or else. The ‘or else’ is up to you to lay down.

Don't let all the people who are unaware of the risk of people having images of your child get to you. You're well within your rights and it is a valid concern.

Just because your mum knows someone doesn't mean they REALLY know someone. With AI these days, all sorts of sordid things can happen.

OP, have words with your mother but be aware she will likely try to hide from you in future and still do it.

@embroideredpanda - you do not have terrible judgement - please don’t think that!

If you share pictures with her on your own private WhatsApp chat then turn on Advanced Chat Privacy. It means that she will be unable to share the photos with others.