AIBU to be baffled by colleague on same wage living lavishly?

[Cherryred2]

AIBU to think that some people are so unaffected by the COL and to find it strange. A woman at work is just living a life that seems so alien to me and the others. She is just back from a weekend in London (not for any reason), went to a show, had dinners, shopping spree etc. last year bought a new house and a new car!! Is doing a Disney Paris and Paris holiday this summer! Is going on another trip to Budapest with her sister,spa weekend with her mum and sister, a few days to Rome with her DS because “he loves history and would love to see the colleseum and is thinking of where to go with her dd because she has to make it fair. I asked her if she had plans this weekend and they were out for dinner Friday night and Saturday night for two different celebrations. I’m constantly thinking WTF! The crazy thing is we earn the same which is approximately 50k, I mentioned a credit card last year and she said “oh no I don’t do credit cards, never had one, I hate them, I’m so fearful of debt, mortgage is my only debt and I overpay on that!” I’m baffled!

It was meant to say we are 30 years old.
Cars are both 2013

Also have 120k in ISAs, 220k in pensions combined, but they are from before maternity leave & not been touched this year

In my experience it is nearly all down to inheritance or significant ongoing extended family financial support.

I earn very well indeed, well into 6 figures, however I have to pay for everything myself. I did assume that was normal for most people but apparently appears not to be in many cases.

I see people earning way less talking about holidays that I would have to give serious consideration regarding affordability before committing to. They then drop into the equation that their parents are also going and no doubt funding it all. It is the same with home improvements. People talk casually about getting a new 30k kitchen and only later mention their parents "helped" pay for it.

The list is endless. Childcare being another significant one. I spent around 150k of pre tax income on childcare for DS. Many lower earners use GP and pay nothing.

Over time all this adds up to a huge amount and gives a 50k earner the lifestyle of someone on more like 150k.

Inheritance is of course the other key factor. I have friends who have only ever been in low paid work yet have inherited multiple properties so have been able to live lifestyles that are not comparable with what would normally be expected of someone in their job roles.

I have no issue with how anyone funds their lifestyle however I do think the sky high price of property has made inheritance a much bigger lifestyle factor for many than ever used to be the case.

This. It's very odd to think someone would have exactly the same lifestyle as you. You have no idea what else is going on.

My friend has the same income as me. Or so I thought until recently. It appears she has a private income from an inheritance. That explains a lot.

Agree, and friend had 50k gifted from an aunt.
Sad when people try to dissect other people's financial situation when they have bo clue and it doesn't affect them.

Same person plays poker and is good at investing.

Some people's circumstances are different, just accept it OP instead of trying to find fault.

I’m fairly low paid in a part time job but my husband earns a 6 figure salary, so you’d probably be baffled by me as well.

Or OF 😂

The first guy was effectively ripping off clients although it wasn't immediately obvious to them. Once one person found out then the police were involved and the other clients identified very quickly. The admin worker was in a very small company, one director, me and three admin, and again it was stealing from clients which took some time to uncover. The last one probably should have been picked up earlier, but she manufactured all the 'correct' paperwork and it was only because the interest didn't get repaid on the loans that it became obvious something was wrong. I don't trust anyone with access to money these days! But I do wonder why they don't realise that they're bound to get caught in the end.

I'm not a low earner but husband earns twice what I do, and our mortgage isn't huge. One wage doesn't equal family income, nor outgoings. It's not baffling at all.

I have income from a rental property I don't mention at work. My dh has income. So I'm much better off than many colleagues at the same salary point. They probably wonder how I can afford my holidays too.

Part time callgirl? Woman at my last job spent six years being shagged senseless by all sorts of city types for cash in hand, went through all sorts of financial shenanigans so a "relative" could gift it back to her legitimately and got a massive deposit down on a nice house.
Okay she had a ridiculously high sex drive, so enjoyed herself a lot I reckon. Bet she's doing only fans on her days off now 🤔
Don't blame her. And I'd probably watch her if I found she was doing it! lol

How strange

Of course women have to be prostitutes or have ok only fans if they are doing well in life. Of course. No other reason it could be

Maybe they have cheaper rent or mortgage, maybe they have savings, maybe they have huge debt, I personally have a low income but I probably live better in some ways as someone who earns a lot more as I don't drive, my rent is cheaper, and I get refund if I need a taxi to work ad I'm disabled

I always point this out on here when people say "I don't know anyone who...: or "nobody in my circle...." (whether it relates to how much they earn/save/are in debt, or anything else), no, you dont KNOW about anyone else, full stop. You might assume but you don't know. Your closest friends and family could be keeping a lot from you, let alone acquaintances. None of my friends or extended family (parents, sisters etc) know how much I earn or how much I have in savings, and I would hazard a guess they'd be surprised if they did.

The only people I’ve known who live above their means have lots of debt or are living off ill-gotten gains. Do either of them work in a role with financial responsibility?!

I'm a single mum on minimum wage. Colleagues with 2 income households have repeatedly told me how unfair it is that I have disposable income left at the end of the month and they don't. They are all well aware that I lost my father at 21 and inheriting his house and not having rent/mortgage is the main reason for this. The second being unlike them I do not accumulate £1000's worth of debt on yearly house renovations/flashy cars/luxury holidays/beauty treatments/designer clothes as none of those things interest me in the slightest and I'm happy with my 12year old banger and tatty carpets.

Why is it anyone's business except hers? If she has the money and isn't in debt, who is to say what she can and can't spend it on????

Only fans.

Rubbish

But you don't know she IS living above her means. If anything, the only information we have is that she specifically stated she hates ANY type of debt to the extent she doesn't even have a credit card!

This thread is utterly bizarre, people are desperate to believe a complete stranger is either lying, bragging, selling drugs or photos of her feet online or vastly in debt, based on absolutely no supporting evidence, rather than the more credible explanations that she is either just good at managing her money or has a (likely more prosaic, such as a better earning partner or inheritance) alternative sources of income!

They are unkind. Would they prefer a parent deceased at a young age like you?

Some people don't eat much so that helps.

And it's not like she'd necessarily need a much higher earning partner to be able to afford the lifestyle listed. If they happened to get on the ladder at a good time and have no childcare, that could potentially be a lot of mini breaks even if he were on an average or lower income.

I earn less than that but DH earns many times more, and we also have some high risk investments that we saved for and which have done extremely well. No debt, inheritances or extended family money.