AIBU to be baffled by colleague on same wage living lavishly?

[Cherryred2]

AIBU to think that some people are so unaffected by the COL and to find it strange. A woman at work is just living a life that seems so alien to me and the others. She is just back from a weekend in London (not for any reason), went to a show, had dinners, shopping spree etc. last year bought a new house and a new car!! Is doing a Disney Paris and Paris holiday this summer! Is going on another trip to Budapest with her sister,spa weekend with her mum and sister, a few days to Rome with her DS because “he loves history and would love to see the colleseum and is thinking of where to go with her dd because she has to make it fair. I asked her if she had plans this weekend and they were out for dinner Friday night and Saturday night for two different celebrations. I’m constantly thinking WTF! The crazy thing is we earn the same which is approximately 50k, I mentioned a credit card last year and she said “oh no I don’t do credit cards, never had one, I hate them, I’m so fearful of debt, mortgage is my only debt and I overpay on that!” I’m baffled!

Lottery win clearly, but not crazy win like £200m just a pocket amount of £1-2m

Unless you know her fairly well and all the ins and outs of her financial commitments this is really odd.

I earn more than most of my coworkers but I’m the most broke because I’m a single parent. I have coworkers who are constantly on holidays, but their wages are essentially pocket money and their DHs cover the household bills.

I also have a coworker that looks gorgeous, always has her nails, hair, lashes etc done….. but hasn’t paid her rent in like 4 months. Priorities.

What does her husband do? Are the kids his (i.e does she get CMS from rich ex) A grandparent could have left her money? Also sounds like she’s been a saver so maybe she has enough accumulated to treat herself

Low mortgage is the obvious answer, perhaps due to an inheritance or lots of equity from a previous house sale etc.

Other than that, a highly paid partner.

Then you get onto less legal/honest ways, i.e. a drug dealing/money laundering partner, or she's a part time escort or on Only Fans.

I used to have a super chavvy friend who failed the 11+, dim, struggled with jobs. He then casually told me he and his wife were buying a £1.5m house, hardly any mortgage and he told me he got £400k inheritance from his grandfather. They were a dirt poor family from council estates. My ex-friend then admitted he was married to a hot-shot lawyer and for the first 10 years of his kids’ lives he was a stay-at-home dad. Fast forward to the kids grown up and the wife divorced him for being a selfish lazy unemployed deadbeat dad who complained 24/7. The house was sold and he got a very modest crappy 2 bed and was unemployed. Nobody batted an eyelid at Mr divorced in his 50s in a 2 bed house with a revolving door of girlfriends.

I’m on similar pay as you. My DH earns £150K. We are comfortable. Also inheritance can be from grandparents, wealthy old Grand Uncles and Aunts who have passed etc. I have a grandparent who left me a house worth £600K. I don’t have any debt other than mortgage. I holiday 3 times a year abroad, two long haul and one Europe trip. And a few trips within the UK. We don’t eat out much unless on holiday as I love cooking.

I guess you have no idea what her partners income is.
You have no idea about inheritance, I inherited money from people other than my parents.
Maybe she bought a house early and has no mortgage or a small mortgage.

Maybe she has had a significant compensation payout due to an injury (this is the case for me, accident was 30 years ago, current colleagues wouldn’t know - it paid for a 50% deposit for a house for me).

Just wrote a long reply but it only posted half of it and now it won’t let me delete it, only edit it, so you have got this instead… :)

People probably think this about me but it's because I prioritise travel and doing nice things over pretty much everything else.

I don't have any beauty treatments, wear cheap clothes and have a small house and low mortgage.

Also if you book when flights are cheap and aren't fussy about luxury accommodation holidays don't have to be expensive.

I tend to not concern myself with other peoples finances,try it,you will be more content.

Lol...

I find this OP utterly baffling, that's a lot to know about a work colleague, and then to ask others, I would be uncomfortable if it was me, I would not be answering personal questions and i have said it out loud, why do you need to know where i live, i dont need to tell you what i do when im not here, privacy should be respected,

She'll have family money or something similar, she might own loads of properties with rental income- anything, just because you are colleagues doesn't mean your backgrounds will be similar.
Stop it comparison is the thief of joy.

As speculated here there could be many explanations. I personally don’t understand the obsession with what others have.

For much of my working life Ive had a cash in hand side hustle of sime kind which added another 50%+ to what I earned through employment. Unlike your friend I seldom discussed my holidays or private life with the likes of colleagues and certainly not with neighbours. I dont post on social media or even have a public profile as it promotes jealousy.

Your matching salaries don’t really mean a lot. You may have different outgoings. Husbands/partners may earn different amounts. She may have savings/inheritance.

I worked with someone like this! Always in designer labels, self confessed Jo Malone candle addict with a huge collection, two hold a year with kids- she actually worked 0.8 while I was FT. Her husband is an artist and is extremely talented but of course income is very up and down and overall despite his obvious skill not huge. I can only assume his family have gifted them a house so nearly all their income is disposable?!

Just ask her. I wouldn’t mind if I was living the high life and someone asked me how I afforded it. Assuming I wasn’t trying to hide illegal activity I might just tell you the truth and the truth will set you free.

She may own several BTL properties. Our income is well above our friends in similar warming brackets because of this. We've never mentioned it to anyone.

I have passive and portfolio income streams. For anyone looking in, they may assume that I’m up to my eyeballs in debt, and/or living off my husband.

Not all money comes from a job.

50k is a good wage. I'd expect somebody earning that to be able to go on holiday and go out for dinner at the weekend. I don't think she's that much of a jetsetter.

I also don't think there's any reason to believe she necessarily has debts.

I would assume her husband works, even if he makes 30k a year that is still 80k joint which is enough to have weekends away/holidays etc.

Are you single? If not, what does your DP earn? How does that compare to hers?

You're wondering how she can afford all of this, say she's on the same salary as you, yet fail to mention the bloody obvious reason that there's a disparity between your DP's salary and her DP's. Otherwise it could be an inheritance from a grandparent or an aunt, or someone on her DP's side, or parents have helped them out wth a deposit on a house so they only have low monthly mortgage payments.

Anyway, you've disappeared now so I just wonder if you posted this purely as click bait.

Only fans?

Secret OF account 🤣 probably inheritance or loaded hubby