AIBU to be baffled by colleague on same wage living lavishly?

[Cherryred2]

AIBU to think that some people are so unaffected by the COL and to find it strange. A woman at work is just living a life that seems so alien to me and the others. She is just back from a weekend in London (not for any reason), went to a show, had dinners, shopping spree etc. last year bought a new house and a new car!! Is doing a Disney Paris and Paris holiday this summer! Is going on another trip to Budapest with her sister,spa weekend with her mum and sister, a few days to Rome with her DS because “he loves history and would love to see the colleseum and is thinking of where to go with her dd because she has to make it fair. I asked her if she had plans this weekend and they were out for dinner Friday night and Saturday night for two different celebrations. I’m constantly thinking WTF! The crazy thing is we earn the same which is approximately 50k, I mentioned a credit card last year and she said “oh no I don’t do credit cards, never had one, I hate them, I’m so fearful of debt, mortgage is my only debt and I overpay on that!” I’m baffled!

This seems pretty simple.

1. she doesn’t waste money on debt. People underestimate how big an impact this has
2. she values these experiences and spends her budget on them. She likely doesn’t spend money in other ways.
3. you mention in-laws. There is a second income in play.

Some people spend a lot of time finding deals and vouchers.

Some people have high-earning spouses.

Some people have family money.

Some people have no dependents.

Some people lie about not having debts.

For all these reasons, two people on the same salary often have totally different lives.

See posts like this make me think the less you tell people the better. What difference does it make to you how she spends her weekends?

She very obviously has a high earning spouse. Or, less obviously, an inheritance from a more distant family member.

our DC’s private school fees are funded from a huge chunk of money unexpectedly left to dh and his sisters after a single great uncle died with a huge secret investment portfolio built up since the 1960s. And of course we’ve never told anyone - no one’s business.

I don't understand why you wouldn't be able to do those things on 50k. I do them on far less of a wage.

Perhaps does not drink smoke vape etc.

Same. Bit of limited thinking from @Sartre .

No inheritance, no help, DH & I are not high earners.

We didn't go abroad for 8 years, no new car, no kids, no pets.
Minimal takeaways, no takeaway coffees.
Just Netflix subscription, no gigs, buy reduced theatre tickets.

If travelling, buy cheapest seats, no reserving seats.
Cinema, bring own snacks.

So saved a lot from that and now when we do big spends, friends jokingly call us moneybags.

They on the other hand, skiing every year staying at a villa and another abroad holiday.

They have a very expensive hobby.

Have pets that cost £££ and travel first class.

You’re on 50k, luxuries shouldn’t be a challenge. Im the sole earner in my household earning £30k and the cost of living crisis hasn’t remotely affected us.
Okay insurance and gas is a little bit more than previous years but an extra £ or two a month isn’t an issue.
If you’re struggling on £50k a year, you’re living beyond your means.

On a household income of 50K?

Lots of reasons already mentioned, also, you might just spend more on things she's doesn't, subscriptions, phones, more expensive food shops etc?

However any time I've heard of someone living this kind of lifestyle without the wage to match it's later come out that they're up to the eyeballs in debt, have some kind of sugar daddy, or swindling the company they work for 😁

Had an ex years ago who would easily spend £10 a day on tobacco and alcohol. £3650 a year. Easily enough for a luxury spa weekend and a city break. Day to day choices can make a huge difference to your finances.

It will very likely be inheritance . I’ve had a few friends over the years whose grandparents have died leaving them property so their salaries simply went on enjoying their lives- holidays etc.

Why would you know about any inheritance she has? She's a colleague, why would she mention it to you?

Parents being alive doesn't mean you don't have money from somewhere.

There are a lot of ways to have money other than salary.

A lot of parents don’t have to have died for their kids to “inherit” - quite a lot of them give cash to their kids well before the inevitable.

She shouldn’t be sharing her situation with everyone. It’ll cause her problems. Just live your own life. Can’t be hard to understand she’s just richer. You could accept it and live your life or you could become bitter and make your life harder.

stop being baffled and MYOB

Handled money better than you / well in the past
earnt more in past
good at budgeting now
partner who earns well
inheritance
good at finding deals
more optimistic view on money
does in fact have credit cards / debts

many reasons this could be the case that don’t necessarily involve being a drug dealer !!

While I agree with the latter part of your post, this doesn't really seem an unusual level of sharing for work colleagues? I accept some people keep their private lives really private, but this is pretty much within the range of normal too. What did you do at the weekend, going anywhere nice this year, idle chit chat. The things she's talking about doing aren't particularly lavish. You couldn't do them if you were on the bones of your arse, but meals out and mini breaks to places that Ryanair fly aren't rich rich territory either. I can see why someone might not think it was the sort of good fortune that needed discretion, especially in a workplace where at least some of them are higher rate taxpayers.

She may also, depending on the workplace norms around leave, have felt she needed to explain at least some of it too. If she needed a set date due to a house move and it was at a popular time, for example.

I am fortunate not to work as I help with grandchildren and husband is a professional on £240k, however he pays hugely into his pension and ovs is taxed highly

Both DH and I started investing young. Markets checked every day. I could have earned more but turned down promotion on more than one occasion.

We live in a modest semi. Planning on moving in about 18 months to 2 years and will buy a bigger house with some land. I think at that point our relatives and friends will be a bit perplexed how we have done it.I remember an article about The Wilson’s who were huge Landlords and both maths teachers, very controversial characters. We were considering BTL but decided not to. But that sums us up, as we worked in education. Lots of friends of DH work in financial services but he just doesn’t have that cut and thrust nature required neither do I. Plus loved working with young people and seeing them develop. I suppose we could be classed as underachievers career wise. Our investments have beaten our earned income some years.

Doesn't take a parent to die to get inheritance. A grandparent could easily leave their estate to a grandchild, especially if their own child is already set up for life (older generations more likely to have their own home with mortgage paid etc). As someone else said, if parents have a large estate and are getting on a bit, they might be gifting it now to avoid the inheritance tax later. They might've helped with the purchase of a house etc which would make the mortgage small, hence the overpayments being possible...

Got her fanny on the internet maybe?

Sorry, we’re 30 years old. Cars are 10-15

yeah we have 2 incomes but Not during Mat leave

Some people have no/low mortgage due to buying yonks ago when houses were cheap as chips.

Husband?