AIBU to be baffled by colleague on same wage living lavishly?

[Cherryred2]

AIBU to think that some people are so unaffected by the COL and to find it strange. A woman at work is just living a life that seems so alien to me and the others. She is just back from a weekend in London (not for any reason), went to a show, had dinners, shopping spree etc. last year bought a new house and a new car!! Is doing a Disney Paris and Paris holiday this summer! Is going on another trip to Budapest with her sister,spa weekend with her mum and sister, a few days to Rome with her DS because “he loves history and would love to see the colleseum and is thinking of where to go with her dd because she has to make it fair. I asked her if she had plans this weekend and they were out for dinner Friday night and Saturday night for two different celebrations. I’m constantly thinking WTF! The crazy thing is we earn the same which is approximately 50k, I mentioned a credit card last year and she said “oh no I don’t do credit cards, never had one, I hate them, I’m so fearful of debt, mortgage is my only debt and I overpay on that!” I’m baffled!

Maybe She has a high-earning partner or was able to put a big deposit down on her house so her mortgage is very small? Perhaps she’s inherited from her grandparents?

My husband and I are both public sector workers and I am part time so we only earn about £80k between us, but we live in a circa £1m house, have horses, drive two cars that we own outright, have 2 skiing holidays a year and a long-haul villa holiday in the summer. Plus our children go to a very good school and go on ALL the school trips. The secret? My obscenely wealthy (and thankfully generous) parents. As simple as that. I’m sure people have wondered about our lifestyle (we’re far from flash, but work colleagues I suppose would largely be aware of our children’s school, the holidays etc). I’m always honest if asked though, it’s not down to anything I or my husband have done, it’s just luck of being born into a wealthy family.

My friend has a rich aunt with no children of her own that helps her a lot. She is on a similar wage to me and her family situation is the same. They have 2 houses and a nicer home than ours etc…. However, I’ve been putting a lot away for my pension, whilst she will only have a small private pension and her state pension. I have also paid for my funeral upfront and some other things to make sure my child never has to worry about finding the money for things like that. She hasn’t even given it a thought because rich aunty will leave her money

£50k is double my salary. With an extra £2k a month in my pocket I could absolutely afford everything she is doing, and more.

She could be living wildly beyond her means, on credit, high income DH, family cash, lottery win. Or she could be prioritising holidays, weekends away, meals out. You never know op.

I bet you could scrimp some of your monthly salary and head out on a 'just because' weekend away?

Possibilities:

• Foreign Spy
• Found gold bars in the attic
• Backed the winner of the national at 100:1
• Has 20 million followers on YouTube
• is a member of the Illuminati
• is a secret hand model appearing in many well known jewellery shops
• Family trust from the profits of the creator of Scrabble

....

Wow you must be on mega bucks or very careful!

We earn 140k ish combined, not mega mega bucks but more than enough yes.

You never know other people's financial situations.

I work for minimum wage. My colleagues on my level all claim UC top ups. My husband is a very high earner, we unfortunately inherited a nice sum recently and we moved from the SE to a much cheaper area a few years ago with a massive amount of equity.
I work with absolutely minted people and I am happy in an entry level job which i have no desires to climb up from. I am available for the children and i have a work life balance ive always dreamed of
Nobody knows i have 2 degrees and a holiday home abroad.
The men at work were all admiring the lovely Ferrari in the car park last week, I drove it there as my little vw was being MOTed so I took my husbands car in. I could be a stay at home wife if I wanted but I would rather work. I might retire early though.

It could be a lottery win but she didn’t want the publicity of it being made public.

Only fans?

Top 2% of earners in the UK.

My colleagues would say this about me. My lifestyle doesn’t match my salary, but my parents were extremely wealthy and left it all to me and my sibling when the died far too young a few years ago.

I’m not in the uk, I’m in the rep of Ireland.

Not obviously at all. I earn about that, DH earns slightly more. We've paid off our mortgage. Don't have any big debts/loans. And pay for holidays etc out of savings not credit.

Oh, well you didn't say Euro or £, but either way I bet it's still about the same.

A lifestyle of going out on Friday and Saturday and sometimes going on holiday within Europe? It's not like they're living like millionaires.

But do your colleagues say those things about you, or (like most on this thread), understand that most people know NOTHING about their colleague's personal finances?

I have thw opposite. I'm confused on why my collageue on sama salary is always so skint. I mean, i understand she spends more loney and I do. But when someone on my salary is asking about how much I pay for my haircut cause she needs to save or how we need more salary cause it would be nice to afford a restaursnt trip once a year.

But my guess with yiur colleague is that her husbands makes decent money and with combined income they're comfortable.

Top 10% apparently. I earn 50k of that, dh earns over 70k. However, that is just our base, so we get bonuses and we both earn overtime also. Last year I earned about 64k and dh 80k.

I have a friend like this. She earns well (but not hugely), her husband is on minimum wage but they travel a lot, eat out twice a week, kids in private school and lots of shopping trips away etc...

Her parents are millionaires - paid for their children's homes, pay the grandchildren's school fees, give them a £1000 a month allowance and pay for all foreign travel (up to three trips a year). My friend is absolutely lovely, understands how lucky she is and very open with close friends about it.

She and her husband work hard but have these extra benefits that allow them to live a lifestyle that would be otherwise out of their reach.

Just to be clear - you work in the public sector? And you expect your employer (the tax payer) to always accommodate your time off if there is a family crisis? Just because your husband works in finance doesn’t mean that the taxpayer should cover the crisis.

I apologise if I have misunderstood but after many years of working in HR in the NHS, I had so many discussions with staff who swore there was no way their husbands could take a minute off work to look after sick children or cover inset days. That left wards short, teams understaffed, agency costs….

Perhaps she just has a rich mindset. I’m sure to the untrained eye I’m living the life of Riley but the odds are that if I’m travelling, the I’ve organised a home exchange and chosen the cheapest time to fly. I have accessories that I’ve thrifted that can elevate any outfit and make it look expensive. I take advantage of any bogof tickets, I book early, I mix high and low in all things. And I FEEL so rich! Not with the things money can buy but with my health, my family and friends, my opportunities and experiences, love. There’s so much to be grateful for. Comparison is the their of joy … maybe look at what you do have, not what you don’t.

Not that it's any of your business but there are lots of reasons this may be... Inheritance from someone meaning that mortgage already paid off, husband earning larger amounts, smaller mortgage because they are in a smaller house, better budgeting. Comparison is the thief of joy. Focus on you, I would.

Tbf, £50k is a high salary. I'm on 46 ish and do a fair few weeks/ weekends away and dinners out, it's just what I choose to spend my money on. No debt except mortgage in London.

God no! My colleagues aren’t rude.

Inheritance, massively rich spouse, is exaggerating, is lying about credit cards / use of credit, just prioritises different spending, has no mortgage to pay. Could be a whole raft of reasons.