AIBU to resent friend on UC living better than us?

[Sunshineandrainbows123]

I know I am being unreasonable but just need to rant and I’m aware that perception is different to reality. I’ve worked hard all my life, since I was 14, paid my way through uni to get a decent qualification and job at the end of it all. I bought a house with my partner but as with so many of us I feel like I can’t rub 2 pennies together. Meanwhile a close friend claims universal benefits, has minimum 4 holidays a year, 2-3 abroad, gets regular beauty treatments, a new car and is able to regularly take her children to the cinema, days out and buy them new clothes, trainers and toys. I feel like I took the wrong path sometimes - she doesn’t have to pay rent for the home they live in, or school lunches for her kids, there are so many discounts and opportunities afforded to those on UC that working families don’t get. I don’t know if it’s better to distance myself. I know I need to probably give my head a wobble.

Me too!! I'm doing it all wrong. No three to four holidays abroad. Beauty treatments. Stay cations I don't have a car or a big telly either. In fact I don't even have a telly

Hi, I never said I was bothered. I was responding to your comment that it's not that easy to play the system.
I also appreciate that several people claim benefits who need them.
My view is based on actual facts and there are always going to be people who misuse and abuse the system to the detriment of those who need it.

Why don't you ask her how she's managing to do all this on benefits?

That's fine. If you're not that bothered just crack on. Maybe if you were on benefits yourself rather than just posting anecdotal evidence you would know it's not actually that easy to game the system.

My view is also based on facts as its my lived experience

For several you mean millions. Hth

One benefit of being on a low income is that you can get cheaper glasses. I'm in Scotland so prescriptions are free anyway as are eye tests.

Yeah and then they charge you a premium for the actual glasses

Another benefit bashing goady thread I see.

as for the one saying I know such and such playing the system unless you’re stalking them no you bloody don’t.

It actually wasn't too bad when I used it -it did help me at the time. It's just one of the very few benefits that I can recall getting from being on a low income.

Does she have help from her parents?

You're not really a friend to this person OP. Just my view

I live in an area of high deprivation where there are community projects trying to assist people. They have a community pantry. They do nights where families can get a meal for three quid. They give surplus food away. They cook meals for two quid or pay what you can afford. If there wasn't poverty - places like this would not exist

They also do holiday hunger clubs - with activities mostly centre based.

People do live in poverty. Including people who work and are on Uc.

Why is there so much jealousy in this country? Over the most basic shit as well. Such low lives constantly looking at what others have (even if it is the bare minimum) and getting so worked up. It’s such a scarcity mindset. Eww.

Because some people see those on benefits as the bottom of the pile

If by school tours you mean the holidays abroad, very few children can go on those and I think they’re obscene in state schools anyway. My DC are at secondary and did not go on them. It costs 1.5k for THREE DAYS in either New York or Iceland depending on whether they did geography or history. I could take them there myself for longer for less.

They’ve also just added a Spanish trip to Madrid which again is 1k for 3 days. It’s worth noting that neither of those prices include food either. I’ve just checked sky scanner and I could take him to Madrid for a week for £160 flight and I reckon the hotel wouldn’t be much plus I’m sure I’d feed us both for under £400 for the week.

So the kids who are pretending they don’t want to go might just have sensible parents who recognise how much of a rip off those trips actually are.

I get how you feel. My DH and I both work FT. Have old cars and only support one child now. Ds lives at home but works. We don’t go out much or drink/smoke etc. We manage a holiday as long as ours a free child place. A friend works 16 hours so gets UC. Her ex pays decent maintenance and she has income from rental. So gets free school meals and transport reduced counsel tax and her rent paid for. Her lifestyle is completely different to mine in her spending. Has very expensive hobbies and a new car due to PIP. Does lots of cash in hand work too. I’m not jealous really as I totally appreciate what I have but it’s a bit shit when I pay for the school bus and dinners and drive around in my old banger.

But, as with the OP's "friend", surely this lifestyle your friend has is just very temporary?
Her ex will only pay her money until her kids are 18, her benefits will also change then too and, I imagine, her life will become harder because she will then have to pay her own way more.

It might look like she is on easy street now but how will her life look when she is in her fifties, say, compared to yours? Or in retirement compared to yours?

Because everybody is struggling and working their fingers to the bone for very little enjoyment and it grates to see people who put no effort not struggling and living it up.

People who have enough don't give a shit what anyone else has or if they have more than them. It's a symptom of a failing country and economy.

The difference is you have a contract that pays you an amount in exchange for your time, skills and knowledge. I assume your workplace benefits from that regardless of how much you have in the bank. While few would argue it’s wrong to provide a safety net for people who need it, accumulating savings from the public purse or living off the public purse when you have a decent amount of savings is wrong.

We’d all love to spend a windfall on a nice holiday or renovations but most of us need to cut our cloth and if something - in this case basic living costs - are more needed that’s just life. At what point do you think people should be responsible for their own financial needs?

Everyone including those on benefits need savings though. We claim UC and have a mortgage. Our ceiling next to our bay window came down this week. We need savings for these sort of things.

I'm not in the Uk so cost differs, but I am teaching so sadly we as a staff know the background of the kids who say they dont want to go. It is day trips too. I'm saying this from a good place by the way. I'm not naive either. We thankfully have funds now for trips to support this but it used to break my heart seeing some families struggle.

Yes, this. I think you have put my point more eloquently. Savings serve a purpose and the benefits system disincentivises saving.

Perhaps an “x amount a year” and a windfall clause would be a better solution.

Because if she has an inheritance she doesn't need money from the state.

You do understand that benefits are paid for by taxpayers don't you. And that you get paid because you work?

People on Pip have disabilities - it's not against the rules to work while on Pip either as long as it doesn't contradict the reason why someone is awarded it

The rules are that someone is allowed to buy property within 6 months. There's a disregard and not lose benefits