AIBU to resent friend on UC living better than us?

[Sunshineandrainbows123]

I know I am being unreasonable but just need to rant and I’m aware that perception is different to reality. I’ve worked hard all my life, since I was 14, paid my way through uni to get a decent qualification and job at the end of it all. I bought a house with my partner but as with so many of us I feel like I can’t rub 2 pennies together. Meanwhile a close friend claims universal benefits, has minimum 4 holidays a year, 2-3 abroad, gets regular beauty treatments, a new car and is able to regularly take her children to the cinema, days out and buy them new clothes, trainers and toys. I feel like I took the wrong path sometimes - she doesn’t have to pay rent for the home they live in, or school lunches for her kids, there are so many discounts and opportunities afforded to those on UC that working families don’t get. I don’t know if it’s better to distance myself. I know I need to probably give my head a wobble.

So why didn't you provide this very helpful detail in your original post? Because you wanted to start a benefits bashing thread, that's why. What other detail is going to be drip-fed? Her new car being 20 years old? Her living rent-free in a temporary accommodation sleeping in the same room with her children and only having access to shared cooking facilities?
Come on now...

Oh bollocks. You know exactly what your thread will generate and you jumped the shark right at the start.

The irony of you not listening to facts which disprove your assertions and claiming you have somehow won an argument. None so deaf...

So do people, often women raising kids alone, who are working in low paid roles that need UC to top their wages up to a living wage.

Probs has a partner living with her (undeclared) and works full time, that’s how they’re usually so well off.

Im going to start a thread how I feed my family of 6 for £10 a month and conveniently leave out the part where I did a big monthly shop the day before. Since this is how where starting threads now

Tell me more about this benefits Britain and how much I can get? When I look it all up on ‘entitled to’ the amounts seems incredibly low indeed so I am clearly doing something wrong.

Everyone I know is much better off working than on UC.

Yeah there must be more to it as already said. However I do get the frustration. We are on a low income and get a UC top up, live in a private rented house so rent is expensive. We don't have 2 pennies to rub together yet don't qualify for anything like free dinners etc. The school sent out a huge list of free activities for children who get fsm this Easter - stuff like climbing, trampolining, archery, football camps. Stuff we can in no way afford for our DC, but yet kids with unemployed parents get to go free?! I currently have toothache and simply can't afford the treatment, despite being lucky enough to have an NHS dentist, if we were unemployed it would be free.

You can report her for not declaring income:

https://www.gov.uk/report-benefit-fraud

The Motability car is unlikely to be fraudulent though because you normally need enhanced mobility with PIP to get that. Exaggerating on your form doesn’t work because you need strong evidence otherwise they don’t believe you.

That's not the reality for a lot of people on UC. It's certainly not been my experience

Just going to say that there are not a lot of discounts and "opportunities" for people on UC. If people get school lunches paid they are not on a high income (I'm in Scotland where most primary school kids get a free lunch but elsewhere you have to be earning under a certain amount).

I'm single with no kids so I'm not in the same position but until 18 months ago I was living on 400 pounds a month UC

Yes my rent was paid but I was poor. Why don't you direct your anger at employers who don't pay people enough to live on rather than people who claim UC top ups?

Yeah okay.

Why is it "interesting" that people find your post anger-inducing?
You clearly came on here with a benefit-bashing agenda despite your twinkly "thank you", " How interesting" comments.

It's so ridiculous to be a person with a good job and a mortgage who "envies" someone who has to rely on support from the state to get by.
If you are honest, you don't envy her (if she even exists?), you just wanted to criticise benefit claimants & started a goady thread about it. That's why some posters are angry.

@Gottagetfitin26 From September all children whose parents are on UC will have free school meals (England).

This 👏👏👏👏

So UC for a couple with 2 children is £1213.72 a month.

For a single parent with 2 kids, it’s £985.76 per month.

if somebody is too sick or disabled to work, they can get another £424.27 or if they are a carer, they get just under half that (but you can’t usually get both).

You can also get a contribution towards your rent (up to whatever the local max is - so the max will be much higher in London than Blackpool) plus childcare costs (but I presume you would normally have to be working to get childcare).

OP, even if UC is paying all your friend’s rent, she must have another big source of funds.

Has she got a rich family? Is she a prostitute? Has she got 15 credit cards with 10s of thousands of £s credit limit? Is she a thief?

NHS treatment might be free if you are on Uc but that doesn't mean someone will find a dentist to treat them.
As for your school - I don't think it's a bad thing that the poorest kids get support to go on school trips or activities. I live in the West of Scotland and there are holiday hunger clubs. Yes it's unfair that people earning slightly more miss out but there has to be a cut off somewhere

They will get child element from UC as well for two kids if they have two kids

Is there another way to look at that just because someone needs assistance from benefits that they dont have to look like something out of Charles Dickens poverty plots in order to justify getting them. Maybe someone helped them out this year with a bit extra cash.

I'd like to think a family on benefits would always have a holiday, new clothes, a cinema trip or the like while on benefits ect. We all know there is fraud in society but I dont think getting benefits should keep people down either. I teach kids in secondary school. You know straight off the kids who go on the school tours and the ones who pretend they dont want to go or the ones who wouldn't see the inside of a cinema or concert that often. I'd hope benefits would ease that gap for families who need it among other things.

I wouldnt go presuming she's being dishonest

Oh wow, I didn't know that!!! That's fab, although fingers crossed I'm hoping to increase my hours in September so may not get UC much longer, but who knows what will happen, life seems to keep chucking curve balls 😂

People always seem to think folk on UC are living the high life - when for some people - including those who work - it's a miserable experience.

Being on UC hasn't ever got me benefits or discounts apart from a council tax reduction - yes it's different for families as they get money for their kids too. But some people have to pay rent from their UC because they only get the LHA rate for the area

I get more money than I did 18 months ago because of an accident - and that extra money is temporary - but I'm still not living the high life - it's just meant that I don't need to worry so much about putting the heating on and I'm not as stressed month to month

Of course it doesn’t apply to everyone on UC but those who don’t believe some people really do live these lives are just naïve. There really are some who know how to play the system.

My mum was a teacher all her working life and there used to be a residential week and some parents couldn't afford it so she spent the week with them - a long time ago when my mum started teaching her wages were so crap I qualified for free dinners but she paid for them because back in the day all the free dinner kids had to go first - stigma

If people think it's such a lovely life on benefits - go on them

I’ve included the child element for 2 kids. Without the 2 children it would be £628
for a couple or £400 for a single adult.

Im not naive - and if this woman getting UC and child element for her kids - she's not playing the system -it's what she's entitled to