AIBU to resent friend on UC living better than us?

[Sunshineandrainbows123]

I know I am being unreasonable but just need to rant and I’m aware that perception is different to reality. I’ve worked hard all my life, since I was 14, paid my way through uni to get a decent qualification and job at the end of it all. I bought a house with my partner but as with so many of us I feel like I can’t rub 2 pennies together. Meanwhile a close friend claims universal benefits, has minimum 4 holidays a year, 2-3 abroad, gets regular beauty treatments, a new car and is able to regularly take her children to the cinema, days out and buy them new clothes, trainers and toys. I feel like I took the wrong path sometimes - she doesn’t have to pay rent for the home they live in, or school lunches for her kids, there are so many discounts and opportunities afforded to those on UC that working families don’t get. I don’t know if it’s better to distance myself. I know I need to probably give my head a wobble.

Do you think everyone on universal credit is "living it up".

No but I do think some of them are struggling less than people who don't get universal credit. Or some families who work full time plus to have the same standard of living as someone who works part time on universal credit will be living the same lifestyle but sacrificing a lot more for it and that breeds resentment.

As I said before, if people have enough they don't give a shit what other people have. Working your fingers to the bone for a shit standard of living will breed resentment for people who are working part time and enjoying things like holidays even if they aren't "living it up". Obviously. If people are miserable enough to resent others for having what we used to call a basic standard of living there is OBVIOUSLY something wrong in the economy/country. Why isn't that clear to you? It's clear to the rest of us.

In my experience anyone living this kind of lifestyle on benefits is usually drowning in debt or is a drug dealer.

If a single person on UC earns less than £952 a month they have to look for other work. Because they don't meet the AET. For a couple it's £1534.

I'm pretty sure a lot of people who do have enough to live on resent people on UC. All you need to do is look at some previous threads to see that

Some families on UC very much struggle as I said previously. It's not all holidays and new cars and beauty treatments.

Common misconception that absolutely everything is paid for by income tax.

I know you've said it twice and clearly fondly believe it but it's actually nonsense to say that if people have enough they don't care what others have. Otherwise Baron Lloyd Webber wouldn't have made a dash across the Atlantic ocean to vote for cuts to tax credits a few years ago. And Sir Keir Starmer's government wouldn't have put through cuts to disability benefits that mean people like my daughter, disabled since birth and never in a position to support herself, will lose tens of thousands of pounds over a lifetime. The Baron and the knight aren't on the breadline.

I'm autistic and have a corresponding interest in the origins and history of the UK welfare state. Unreasonably, it frustrates me beyond measure that others don't have that interest. To look at the social control and moralising engendered through benefits over centuries is to be incredibly enlightened about the purpose of current policy and the ways in which it's disseminated through media, both conventional and social. I mean, truly eye opening!

Also your post infers that you'd like to see UC claimants struggle a bit more than they presently do. Apologies if that was unintended.

No, the opposite.

No one should be struggling. People working full time or more should have a good standard of living. Good enough they feel they are fairly compensated for their labour and don't need to resent others for not struggling like they do or for having the same standard of living as they do for less effort.

Everybody should have enough. If you want more than enough you should work for that.

You're posts seem to strongly infer that people who work part time and get UC top ups don't struggle as much as people who work full time.

That presupposes fairness, equity, a functioning job market etc. In the absence of those things, speaking pragmatically, how do we ensure a decent standard of living for all? That's a question that will only get more pressing over the coming years.

Someone earning 952 a month. The top ups would be mainly for kids and rent. They would get an in work allowance but there would still be deductions from UC and depending on how much their rent was - they might have to pay some rent from their personal allowance

YANBU

I have a friend in a similar position but she can afford to live the high life because along with her benefits, she gets a massive sum in child maintenance from her ex. The system is fucked to allow this. I realise that they stopped including maintenance when calculating benefits because it was unreliable, but they could make the NRP pay the government instead of the other parent, and ensure that the children were paid for by their parents instead of random taxpayers that way.

And there are other people who get very little from their exes. Someone else posted a thread last night on here - she gets 7 quid a week

Benefits bill £331 billion. How can this go on for much longer.

The biggest chunk of that is pensions. Not people on UC

A significant amount of that is pension so what do you suggest. People who have worked their whole life paying in should just be killed of

As pointed out, a significant part of that is pensions. To answer your question, quite easily. Benefits as a percentage of GDP have been stable for decades. The sky has not yet fallen in!

However, socio-economic equity would be better than reliance on benefits, that's undeniable. Unfortunately we're getting further away from that all the time in terms of wealth inequality.

Well at least no one has said that folk on UC should be pot washing or grass cutting or litter picking rather than claim like you get on other threads. Yet

It will come I'm sure.

A lot don't, they don't have to pay for a lot of things people who work full time do. Working part time saves money on commuting and childcare. It also gives you more free time to do things like cook and meal plan/prep and shop which makes those things cheaper because you don't need to pay for convenience and you're not too tired to do it. Receiving UC opens up other benefits like free glasses and prescriptions and help towards housing costs. People working full time on low wages really struggle to pay for those things.

Contrastingly, we work full time and earn well. We have a massive child care bill but we easily pay it, along with our glasses and prescriptions and dental care. It's not an issue and we don't worry about it. As a result, I don't care who's getting free glasses because I don't think twice about buying my glasses when I need them. It's a non issue. Years ago, when I was starting my career, I was working overtime every week on an entry level salary and wearing glasses I couldn't read properly through because I couldn't afford new ones. I wasn't entitled to any help. When people I knew who were working part time got free glasses and could actually see when I couldn't I was enraged. See how that works? Now seeing and buying glasses isn't an issue for me anymore I don't give a fuck. Give the people free glasses, everyone should be able to see! I should have been able to see! People struggling on minimum wage deserve to see too so why are they being left to struggle? It's not fair. And that's what makes people angry.

Have people ever thought that the reason people on benefits appear to sometimes live a better life then people not has nothing to do with actual income and just that poor people are better at budgeting as they have to.

So you’re mad at your ‘friend’ because she had children with a high earner meaning when they split he was forced to pay his fair share towards his children basically… Most NRP’s get away with paying naff all so she’s an anomaly. Of course CM should never be included in benefit calculations. Some Dad’s suddenly stop paying or intentionally get a lower paid job so they can start paying less or are self employed and illegally hide income.

You've basically come on here - given few details. You've not said whether your friend works or whether she has disabilities or whether her kids do. You've just said she lives the high life on benefits - car. Holidays.

My mums friend tried to do this. He was a GP with his own practice and went off sick (self employed) to try and avoid paying child maintenance

I don't think a single person is at all "entitled" to live off the anyone else. I don't think someone is entitled to the earnings of another.